Lots of time wasted. Needed to share my thoughts.

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Tmackabuto23, Oct 2, 2019.

  1. Tmackabuto23

    Tmackabuto23 New Fapstronaut

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    Hello everybody,

    I think I'm going to start journaling on here when I can. I have been keeping a physical journal for the past few months but need another outlet which can give me additional support.

    I am currently 24 years old and my porn problem is really severe. I have a really hard time going more than 3 or 4 days without porn or even looking at sexy pictures. I've been watching porn since I was around 13 years old or so, but it hadn't really been a problem since I was 17-18 years old and nearing my graduation from high school, in which I started to become really depressed, unable to control my emotions, and started acting out. Since then, my life has spiraled out of control and I didn't even know it was porn until maybe 3 or 4 years ago as I didn't think porn could be addictive or that I had a problem.

    Right now my best streak is a week in the past year and a half when I have really been starting to try and combat this problem. I have sexual fantasies frequently and feel myself disconnected from the world. I feel hopeless but determined to get my life back, or at least make a new one for myself.

    Current steps I've been taking:
    1) Getting out of my room as much as possible: go to gym, store, hangout with friends...anything to get out of my room which is where all the problems take place.
    2) Keep my phone away from me unless I absolutely need to use it or I need to contact my friends. (I have been failing with keeping this rule as I always find the need to look up something quick or check a text, I wander in my room with it, and then PMO occurs). I normally keep my phone in my downstairs pantry which is the furthest point in my house away from my room.
    3) Try to do things productive that will help my career. I graduated from college for electrical engineering technology a couple years ago, but I didn't have a vehicle yet to get to work. I currently work in an office as a phone representative in which I just got a vehicle a couple months ago after saving up. I try to go on my laptop downstairs to teach myself some programming, but can't seem to concentrate for that long and give up after only an hour or so. My attention span has definitely shrunk since watching porn and I get extreme daytime fatigue. I feel like I'm behind my graduating class and behind in life.
    4) Changed my diet. Been working on this for the last year or so in which I cut out most sugary drinks except milk, started getting fresh food and cooking more instead of eating out of a bag. I've been eating more as well to help me gain weight as I'm trying to bulk up in conjunction with going to the gym.
    5) Try to get at least 7 hours of sleep. This is hard at times as if I masturbate late at night my mind needs time to simmer down.
    6) Cut down on video games. Been cutting down the past month. I used to play for most of my free time, but try not to play for more than an hour a day if I do at all. I know I can't engage in escapist activities for long.
    7) Trying to correct my posture. I have had terrible posture for years, probably due to the fact I'm always slouched over watching porn, playing video games, lying down. Doing back exercises at the gym and doing neck exercises are helping, but the rounded shoulders and nerd neck are still there.

    There might be a couple other points, but for the sake of the introduction and not writing an essay I will leave it at that.

    Any thoughts, advice, or suggestions are greatly appreciated! I hope to post more about what has happened specifically over the past few years, but for now I just need to anchor myself right here for now.
     
    Deleted Account and Jefe Rojo like this.
  2. rafael33

    rafael33 Fapstronaut

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    Don’t feel hopeless. There is always hope.
    You can’t imagine how strong you are.

    Welcome to the Nofap community.
    The NO PMO journey is not easy but worth the effort.
    The community will support you.

    Obviously you are doing serious efforts to change your life.
    You made the habit and you can break the habit.
    I recommend to install a counter.
    Good luck!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    Getting Started Guide | How to Use theNoFap Forums | Panic Button | Day Counter | Rebooting Resources | ForumRules | Glossary

    If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    You can also take part in one of the many challenges available. It can be a tremendous help. Challenges

    Also, there are groups you can also join if you wish to do so. You can browse through them here. Groups

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
  4. Carbon Icon

    Carbon Icon Fapstronaut

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    Sound's like you have some good insight and have made some positive changes. Well done.

    A few suggestions -

    Get a dumb phone. You can still keep in contact with friends and you will no longer have that temptation or easy access to porn.

    Get rid of the video games. Yeah they are fun, so what. They are making your life worse. Get rid of it. Real life is so much better.

    Get some help. This addiction is really, really hard to quit. And it's much harder (for some people impossible) to quit on your own. Try a support group like Sexaholics Anonymous or go see an addiction specialist therapist.

    Good Luck. Stay Strong.
     
  5. fercho29

    fercho29 Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap @Tmackabuto23
    It
    is a big step if you can understand what is triggering your urges, because this will allow you to be awake and kill those urges as soon as they appear.

    I recommend you to create your own "Emergency Toolbox" with readings that can be handy to read when you start feeling urges to screw up.
    I can share this post with you with my own Emergency Toolbox, it helped me a lot during the first few months, i had them in my cell and read them every time I started falling down:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...y-first-320-days-of-reboot.62938/#post-473978

    I wrote some tips in this post that perhaps will help you too:

    http://NoFap.com/forum/index.php?threads/tips-that-helped-me-to-start-my-reboot.46617/#post-330318
    You can watch some interesting videos which are also very helpful in this post:
    http://nofap.com/forum/index.php?th...t-help-me-a-lot-during-my-reboot.39774/page-2

    I also suggest you to read "Breaking the Cycle" by George Collins, it is a must-read if you are serious about getting rid of this addiction.
    To get more focus and feel happier with life I recommend you to start doing meditation.. I have been using an App called Headspace for the last two months which is great if you have never meditated before. The first 10 sessions are free if you want to give a try. I used to feel a bit depressed or feeling without energy to start new projects in my life, and meditation has helped me a lot with this.

    Last but not least, I would strongly recommend you to take new e-course that Mark Queppet launched in his new website, called: " REFORGED MAN: Quit porn and Master Yourself-Be a Man you Admire", it is the updated version of the e-course he used to have in NoFap Academy. It is not cheap ($200) but it is totally worth it because he gives great toold to fight PMO.You can find it here:
    https://courses.universalman.com/courses/reforged-man
    You can also join his website called Patreon, where he posts great stuff for free every week, and also you can join the pay area to be part of his weekly video calls where you can chat with them in real life, get coaching and listen to other guys's stories and problems too. You can find it here:
    https://www.patreon.com/home

    I hope that all this helps you to fight this shitty addiction.
    Let's keep on fighting

    Fercho
     

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