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Love

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by DannyCool, Mar 28, 2015.

  1. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    I am convinced that nofap contributes strongly to bringing about real happiness for men. Not wishing to take from women but to give. Turning frustration into bliss and contentment. I tried this with a beautiful women in a café recently. I wanted to be with her to have sex with her but I used that energy to wish her all the safety and wellness life can bring. There was a deep stillness and sense of security. It seemed like our connection was helping me connect with something bigger. I wonder is it possible to build on that rather than the focus of getting a women. Is there a much bigger love where finding a women is not necessary but could happen?
    I am on day 54 of no pmo and need plenty of support.
     
    GreatScott! likes this.
  2. GreatScott!

    GreatScott! Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your beautiful post. Sounds like you had a really sincere connection at the end there and she probably appreciated that more than anything else you had to offer. I really don't know what love is, I feel that it comes in many forms and as such is quite confusing to me. I can only add that I do like one of the 12 promises of SLAA which states that love will be a committed, thoughtful decision and, to add another one, one of their signs of recovery is that we learn to value sex as a by-product of sharing, commitment, trust and cooperation in a partnership. A by-product, that is, an add-on after all of the other things have been established. That, I feel, is the way it should be done, although I have never established a relationship that way, it's always been sex first for me, unfortunately.

    Keep on going strong in your recovery, it sounds like your head (and your heart) is in the right place.
     
  3. DannyCool

    DannyCool Fapstronaut

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    Join the club!
    There is something we learn though when we nofap isn't there? It relates to the mindfulness thread above that is when we have a craving it is normal and natural considering the environment we have grown up in however when we nofap we learn how to transform that craving into what I call love don't we? So we are already doing this aren't we? It is then that we really connect with the other person. I have noticed so many comments in the success stories of how people are relating to women in a real way and how they enjoy that so so so so so so so much more than just wanting something from them. Having said that there is a strong place to be where when a craving comes up it is naturally transformed into love without any effort. That is the place to be. We could track and watch that unfolding as we continue to nofab. I wonder how we could track this?
     

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