Lucid sex dream + orgasm = relapse?

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by AlwaysWinning, Apr 8, 2020.

  1. AlwaysWinning

    AlwaysWinning Fapstronaut

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    Hello everyone,

    2 days ago I had some moment while sleeping / dreaming that I was conscious that I was dreaming. I decided to use the 'opportunity' and dreamed some sexual stuff and then had an orgasm I my dream.
    I then woke up and felt that I had an orgasm in real life too. I did not ejaculate however.

    I now feel very messed up, anxious and guilty that I have relapsed or messed up something. Did I? Does this count as damaging the recovery process?

    Thanks for your replies

    Best regards
     
    The Free Bird likes this.
  2. willpower2020

    willpower2020 Fapstronaut

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    I do the same thing, choosing to have sexual activity. I feel bad about it but don’t count it as a relapse. It can show where your mind is however. I’ve been in places where I’ve rejected sex in my dreams because I was actively fighting all that sexual stuff. So I wouldn’t count it as a relapse, but maybe just as time for several minutes of introspection.
     
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  3. AlwaysWinning

    AlwaysWinning Fapstronaut

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    Yes, that makes sense. Thanks!
     
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  4. AlwaysWinning

    AlwaysWinning Fapstronaut

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    I feel so bad now. I had another (kind of) lucid dream last night. I chose to have a sexual dream (including MO) and then woke up having an actual wet dream.

    Did I mess up / damage my recovery here or should I not worry about this?
     
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  5. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    if you feel like its damaging, and you do (since youre feeling shitty now), then you should not do it.
     
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  6. willpower2020

    willpower2020 Fapstronaut

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    Think of it as looking at a woman and lusting after her. You catch yourself doing it and can look away. Hold yourself to not much more guilt than that. It’s a sign of what is inside. But typically, if you’re having a lucid sex dream, your body wants to ejaculate anyway. Your brain is already producing the chemicals to make you want to choose sex in your dream.

    It’s not so simple. I’ve had sexual dreams but I don’t count them as damaging even if I have an actual wet dream. I don’t give myself much guilt over it, but I do see it as having made the wrong choice in the dream. It sounds bad but I almost count it as a freebie? It shouldn’t happen but if it did and I release, then I’m free from excess sexual thoughts for a while. I’m more often thankful if I have a wet dream, so that I don’t relapse in real life.
     
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  7. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    well wet dreams are a necessary body function that must happen sooner or later, you cant and should not want to keep your sperm and seminal fluid in your body forever. it would damage your organs extremely if you didnt let your body release. but lucid dreams are a sort of gray area. if somebody has the ability to have a sex dream every night, and uses it, it has to have some consequences for your reboot, and i would guess them to be negative. if on the other hand you get to choose wanting to have sex in a dream only every couple of weeks or months, well, i dont know.
    i usually do get to choose whether i want to have a happy ending in a sexuall dream, and i mostly choose to have it, but thats only every few weeks. in my earlier streaks i would feel bad about it, but now it doesnt have emotional influence over me anymore. it actually calms me down and gives me hope because it shows me that my body is still working, at least on a subconscious level.
     
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  8. ichabodcr

    ichabodcr Fapstronaut

    Interesting discussion.. I'm fascinated by it since I never experienced having the ability to fully control what happens in a dream.

    Actually I do dream a lot in the initial days of recovery, not necessarily sexual dreams, which I did have, but never getting to actually having an O or ejaculating whilst asleep. Definitely I never had the chance to steer a sexual dream voluntarily towards a certain direction.

    Are you really talking about dreams you can control whilst you are actually asleep or fantasies that you summon when still partially conscious and relaxing in bed looking at going to sleep, but actually being still awake?
     
  9. domsi

    domsi Fapstronaut

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    i can only speak for myself but im talking about real dreams, and i usualy wake up as i ejaculate, so they happen at a time when i would normaly get up anyway. they always happen in the last phase of sleep for me, so when its already day outside. since i had a bunch of them i can by now usually control if i want to ejaculate or not. i never woke up with my hand on my dick, so i believe that its all purely by dreaming, without physical touch. i also found out how to have them more frequently, but since i believe it could be harmfull for recovery i dont practise that anymore, and im not gonna share how to.
     
  10. It doesnt count as a relapse and you dont need to reset your counter either.
    Because this is not P and not a type of addictive behavior.

    Develop your lucid dream skills even more so you have the choice to either engage in sex or to avoid circumstances to have sex when a dream character approaches you. With lucid dreaming you have a choice unlike with P addiction. Its completely different.
     

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