Lying to myself about NoFap and to other people what is best

This is a really tough question to answer, you have to be you. Most of us here, are here because fapping has one way or another messed up our lives. I myself am addicted to porn and it's killing my marriage. I don't think your friends need to know, your secret is a delicate one that should be shared with someone you trust.

 

Oh damn, that's a difficult one. I've been in a similar situation to yours, although i never crossdressed myself i did enjoy crossdresser porn. Personally i've found that since i've started stopping PMO my more 'unusual' desires have decreased and my more 'normal' desires have risen up. However it sounds like you may have some desires that go beyond heterosexuality. Maybe you need to consider that you might be somewhere else on the spectrum, no-one is ever (or at least very rarely) 100% straight or gay. But you need to examine how you really feel and accept your desires for what they are. So yea, i'd go for the immediate hard re-set. Stop cross-dressing if that's what turns you on because it'll just tempt you to PMO, which is bad.
If your desire to crossdress remains at the end of a hard re-set, then it may be just part of who you are, but on the other hand you may find that it goes away as your more heterosexual side re-asserts itself. Whichever ends up happening is neither good or bad, but just different parts of your personality asserting itself. But you need to separate out those parts from the part of your brain that just wants to fap, that part needs to be ignored.