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M about my wife/partner?

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Markguy, Apr 10, 2014.

  1. Apr 10, 2014 #1
    Markguy

    Markguy Fapstronaut

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    So my primary focus is abstaining from Porn. For me, porn includes any artificial sexual stimulation, so it's pretty broad. I have to do this or I slip back into compulsive use.

    I'm trying to figure out whether masturbation to fantasy of my wife is appropriate for me or not. The pros are that our sex life is pretty infrequent and at least I'm being "faithful" in fantasy to my partner. The cons are objectifying her, projecting darker fantasies onto her, and risks of this becoming a dopamine slippery slope. My brain loves intense and compulsive focus, and I can tell there are desires to channel my porn struggles into almost a fetish towards my wife. Part of me says this is a bad idea, part says this is "much better" than the porn and at least gives me an outlet for now.

    Any thoughts or experiences are appreciated!
     
    Markguy, Apr 10, 2014
    Markguy, Apr 10, 2014
    #1
  2. Apr 10, 2014 #2
    Getagrip

    Getagrip Fapstronaut

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    Hey mark, as someone who's brain has (and continues to) find sneaky ways to sublimate the need for dopamine, I would say no, don't fantasize at all when you M. Make is as physical as possible, just you and your cock. This will force you to be in the moment and prevent dope(amine) from digging in in yet another more subtle and insidious manner. Btw, I had my first straight 'vanilla' (I.e no stim or fantasy) wank for many many years about a week ago. It was sensational. Concentrated on the physical sensation only. This relieved the congested feeling, without re-arming the wandering eye. My 5c worth. I too am in this to break porn habituation and dopamine addiction, not necessarily MO, so I share your concerns. Good luck man
     
    Getagrip, Apr 10, 2014
    Getagrip, Apr 10, 2014
    #2
  3. Apr 10, 2014 #3
    Markguy

    Markguy Fapstronaut

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    Thanks so much Getagrip. Makes sense. You are right that it's not being present and lost in fantasy that is a big part of the dopamine addiction. Great points. Thanks and good luck to you as well.
     
    Markguy, Apr 10, 2014
    Markguy, Apr 10, 2014
    #3

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