Agreed. Although, I think she was concerned I was acting out even without it. She has said many times that she just doesn't feel that I love her. She feels used by me, and that I (and she) would be happier with someone else. Her primary love language is supposedly quality time. I honestly think I have been spending more time listening to and interacting with her than ever. We have gone on more dates in the past couple months than in the past few years. Maybe what I think is quality time isn't really that for her, especially if she is caught up in a cycle of fear/anxiety. I feel completely inadequate to be able to navigate these issues. I barely feel competent enough in "normal" social interactions, let alone with a relationship with these complexities. It wasn't quite as stark as that. I left the room and did dishes/cleaned up the kitchen. Later in the evening was when I was in the bathroom. But, your overall point is taken - rather than disconnect in the moment (to put myself in a better space), reach out for connection and achieve the same thing, but with the added bonus of soothing my wife's fears. I like the idea of trading a trigger for a commitment. It is a fitting replacement.