Man Caves

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by RecoveringFapaholic, Jan 21, 2018.

  1. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    This thread is geared more towards PA's and their partners rather than single rebooters like myself. I was thinking about this topic recently and decided to make a thread about it. A couple years back the manosphere (MRA's and MGTOW's) was defending the man cave from feminist attacks. The manosphere guys claimed the feminists were trying to diminish the last legitimate male space left in the modern home. I disagree with this for two reasons: first, the home has always been a female domain (at least in western culture) and second, a man cave is a privilege and not a right. I personally am not a feminist nor a red-piller (or whatever they're called). I think both groups were created as a rouse to keep people fighting while what really matters is getting taken from us. This isn't a Feminism vs. MRA thread so enough on that.

    Part of the reason why I wanted to bring up the topic of man caves on Nofap is because some men use them for PMO. As I've said earlier, a man cave is a privilege and not a right. If your partner discovers your porn addiction, your man cave privileges need to be revoked immediately. A man cave by design is a place for men to isolate themselves and indulge in (often) unhealthy habits. You can still relax after a long day in the den/living room or whatever room your house/apartment has. If you consistently need to isolate yourself for long periods of time from your partner, then you're unfit for a relationship. You can't enjoy the perks of being a basement-dweller while in a grown-up relationship.

    What are your thoughts on man caves? I'd like to hear thoughts from both PA's and SO's.
     
  2. laughing

    I would say if the man owns the property then it is entirely up him how to use it, within legal boundaries and so on and so forth.

    Probably best to refrain from dishing out judgement about who's fit for a relationship and who's not.
     
  3. You sound just like a feminist. I seriously hope I'm just high and I misunderstood your post. I cant decide because the more times I read it, the less since it makes.
     
  4. Sawako Kuronuma

    Sawako Kuronuma Fapstronaut

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    Me and my SO don't, but I know people for some reason need time away from each other. But one thing that always struck me as weird, is when guys go to their "man caves" and want to be left alone in there for hours without coming out... why? I understand the need for some alone time depending on the circumstances but to want to be isolated from your partner for a long time is terrible to me.


    It's extremely easy to read and understand, and has nothing to do with feminism.
     
    RecoveringFapaholic likes this.
  5. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    In his post he's referring to men using their man caves as a porn cave. I suppose even if a man's wife locked up the man cave he could always go in the bathroom for private porn viewing. I would typically view the man cave as a place for when one or more male friends are over. Usually doing stuff like playing pool, drinking beer, etc
     
  6. Lots of men also use the bathroom for PMO.

    IF they discover it, eh?

    It's designed as a place where a man can go to recharge and unwind sometimes in the company of other men, so its not entirely about isolation. Also what other unhealthy habits are there? I've seen a couple of man caves and they've been place where men share their interest in various hobbies like cars/bikes, guns/weapons, books, philosophy, etc. What's unhealthy about having a space like that? You sure as shit can't have your guns in the den/living area.


    Man caves are primarily found in houses where men have a family complete with a wife and kids. If you think you can have kids and relax in the den/living room then you have no clue what you're talking about, and being that you're 18 I'm positive you haven't experienced this joy yet. Kids are awesome but exhausting. Having a place to relax and have some peace and quiet isn't a bad or unhealthy thing. Women will also isolate themselves to relaxe, sometimes in the tub with scented candles, wine, and a book. Other times they will have a girls night in where the man is asked to leave house. So what? I bet my balls if I told my girl that those things were a privilege and not a right then I be given the big FUCK YOU!

    Or it could just mean there is a serious issue within your relationship which you need to address. I would dail it back on the judgement.

    If you have a healthy balance then yes, you can. From what you've written there really isnt anything in here which makes a man cave a bad thing provided a person isn't using it as a place to escape his duties and responsibilities to his partner or family.
     
    Gotham Outlaw likes this.
  7. Gotham Outlaw

    Gotham Outlaw Fapstronaut

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    You made some interesting points, but this is the best IMO. It's a place for guys to unwind. Each man cave is also unique to the man and the things he's interested in. I also don't see anything inherently unhealthy about the man cave itself. If someone chooses to pmo or do anything else unhealthy it reflects on the man not the cave.
     
    RecoveringFapaholic likes this.
  8. Sawako Kuronuma

    Sawako Kuronuma Fapstronaut

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    I've just never understood the concept of the man cave, I guess family wise in that area sure if he needs to be away from everything. But if you're just with your SO why does there need to be a separation like that?

    I've seen them say they need to get away from their wife or want to be left alone down there and things like. I would honestly rather have my man upstairs with me instead, and if he had friends over or whatever he doesn't have to secluded himself with the "boys" somewhere away.

    I'm not bashing it, I just don't understand the wanting to be left alone for hours I guess.
     
  9. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Just to clarify, I created this thread out of boredom. I appreciate the feedback. I'm not anti man cave: I think it's only a problem if a man decides to isolate himself for extended periods of time on a regular basis. If a man decides to use it for having fun with his friends, that's wonderful. I tend to refer to those types of rooms as game rooms and not man caves. To me a man cave isn't a place for social gathering but rather isolation. A game room can double as a man cave and that's fine with me. If a guy lives by himself, he can use his home for whatever he wants. A man cave certainly isn't the only spot for PMO, but it's not an ideal place to spend your time in recovery. I'm not here to police what goes on in the privacy of your own home: I just got bored and wanted to share one of my opinions.
     
    Sawako Kuronuma likes this.
  10. Man caves are about segregation not isolation. Just because a man wants some time away from women doesn't mean he wants to be isolated. If a man isn't neglecting his responsibilities to his SO then why are they not a good place for recovery? You give off the impression that couples need to spend every waking moment in each others company. If that's not what you believe then what is the issue? It sounds more like your problem is the "extended periods of isolation" which can be done with or without a man cave, so you bringing them up seems pretty irrelevant.
     
    Kenzi likes this.
  11. Your man cave privileges need to be revoked immediately? Lmao.

    Maybe ive been single too long but that seems fucked up. If I had a decked out man cave for the boys, and my wife took it away I would be pissed. I'm not your child wtf.

    But my man cave would have a pool table, poker table, cigar case, whiskey & beer. Put a couple pre-rolled blunts in there for the boys. Hope my future wife would be cool w that. Oh, and a bomb ass speaker system, along with a flatscreen to watch the games.
     
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  12. Poseidon

    Poseidon Fapstronaut

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    A “man cave” is just a room with your shit in it, nothing more. I know the type of guy who boasts about his “man cave” and he’s usually a douche.
     
  13. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    Forget everything I said about man caves. I would love to buy a property with an actual cave and turn it into a man cave. It would be badass.
     
    Gotham Outlaw likes this.
  14. RecoveringFapaholic

    RecoveringFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    In all seriousness my first post was a bit harsh. I believe that everything; be it cars, guns, drugs, alcohol to be fine as long as they're not abused. Why should man caves be any different? And contrary to what my first post may have led you to believe, I absolutely think that temporary periods of separation are healthy for a relationship. I'm an introvert myself and I'd hate to be stuck with anybody 24/7 without any breaks. I was hesitant to respond to this thread the past couple days because I regretted making it and just wanted to let it die on its own. But now I'm thankful for the replies I've received. My opinion on this topic has shifted thanks to your comments.
     

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