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Man In the Mirror

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by MountainSea, Jun 6, 2020.

  1. MountainSea

    MountainSea Fapstronaut

    The world is in the midst of its greatest health crisis since 1918. The U.S. is facing social upheaval not seen since 1968. Despite recent pledges, greenhouse gas emissions are increasing, our oceans are being acidified, and the sixth mass extinction has already begun. And here I am, quarantined at home, with a porn addiction I can't kick. It's distressing, pitiful, and condemnable. I can't help but think the three issues I mentioned above are connected. A product of the society we've created with its values in the wrong place.

    I'm here today because I want change. Change starts with looking in the mirror and asking yourself who you want to be and what world you want to live in. I want to live in a world where people are judged by how they treat others, not by the country they were born in, their skin color, religion, or sexual orientation. I want to live in a world where humanity doesn’t see itself as a conquerer of nature, but as stewards of our only home. These are lofty aspirations that need to be grounded in action. An immediate action I can take is breaking my porn addiction, which has been negatively impacting my life and relationships.

    Like most of you around my age (25) my relationship with porn began sometime in middle school. In high school and the beginning of college I had problems with getting and maintaining an erection with my partners. This made me anxious about sex sometimes and I know it made my girlfriends at the time self conscious even though I assured them it wasn’t them, but I never thought it could be related to my porn use. My Freshman year a friend showed me a video on youtube called “Your Brain on Porn” and that’s how I learned about the nofap community. I never became involved with the community, but we both decided to cut porn. We downloaded a PMO spreadsheet, K9 and held each other accountable. I had some success, 30+ days streaks, and years where I would only masturbate a few times a month. However, I never fully broke the habit and that’s where the story continues.

    Once I started working I had the negative effects of porn still on mind so would try to abstain. Again I did okay, but never kicked the habit completely. I’ve never had social media, but my coworker follows instagram models and would show me their pictures from time to time. This led to me making an account just to follow scantily clad women. If you do the same, then please unfollow or delete your account. IT IS PORN. That was almost 2 years ago and I’ve been on a downward spiral since then. Progressing back into porn and more extreme forms of porn. I even began masturbating at work. Since we’ve been quarantined it’s become more frequent. I decided to stop 2 weeks ago with PM and have masturbated almost every day since. I need help. I live with my girlfriend who I love, but it’s come to the point where I would rather masturbate than have sex with her. It has seriously impacted our sex life and is beginning to affect our relationship. That coupled with the fact that I have tried repeatedly to stop and could not is what made me realize how serious this is and create an account because I may not be able to do this by myself. My girlfriend doesn’t know anything about this addiction. It’s not fair to her or myself.

    I don’t expect many people to read this whole thing (I’m looking back now and realize it’s long). If you’re still here thank you for your time. Putting my thoughts on “paper” has helped. I know quitting porn is something I can accomplish. I can imagine my future self thinking that this is one of the most important things I’ve ever done. Thank you to the creators of this space, the people in this community, and to the people educating folks on the dangers of porn. I’m really grateful for all of you.

    If you want to make the world a better place.. Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

     
  2. | Nico |

    | Nico | Distinguished Fapstronaut
    NoFap Defender

    Welcome to the community :) glad you could join us, if you have any questions or concerns please dont hesitate to ask, wish you all the best on your journey. Take care
     
  3. MountainSea

    MountainSea Fapstronaut

    Thanks Nico!
     
    Coffee Candy and palindromo like this.
  4. palindromo

    palindromo Fapstronaut

    2,060
    13,871
    143
    In NoFap you can create your journal

    Welcome
    First time without porn will be stressful , but if you resist , in some months you will feel reborn.

    If the first times a person relapse easly, it's okay.
    The streaks becomes even longer , day by day.
    Don't porn anymore, it's better to struggle and at the last to relapse than to look at porn.
    No more instagram pictures of models. No more erotic imagines , erotic stories or erotic asmr.
    If you experience ''flatline'' and low libido , resist.
    > https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/por...l-size-and-or-libido-are-decreasing-flatline/

    An effective weapon to overcome urges and thoughts : mindfulness.
    The brain will try to win you and to get some triggers for the seek of dopamine. Resist
     
  5. One Eyed Owl

    One Eyed Owl Distinguished Fapstronaut

  6. MountainSea

    MountainSea Fapstronaut

    I started a journal in my age group and it has been helping. Thanks for the tips.
     

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