I'm really struggling currently with multiple issues. First and foremost is a porn addiction that I have been aware of for over 2 years that has worsened as I've gotten older (exposed as a 12 year old and currently 33). Attempted and failed to reboot many times and have relapsed for different reasons. I'm looking for advice on how to fight relapses within a marriage that is malfunctioning. Below I've expressed a little of my feelings trying to keep it as short as possible (yea right). I am starting a Nofap journey again, Day 2 today. Hope to use this forum as a way to journal my feelings and maybe some support from someone who lived my current situation. Thank you, Many of my triggers have been: stress at work arguing with my wife self esteem damage from my marriage - feeling less worthy than Ex temper issues inability to handle stress in a healthy way which leads to emotional outbursts struggling with the fact that my marriage intimacy quality continues to get worse which sends me searching for it elsewhere. Burning desire to feel loved A no excuse laziness of will power on my part when I least expect it especially days after an argument that's still festering stress of being a parent in a marriage on ice loneliness Now starting out I know how extremely bad my addiction is and its affects on my life. I can't stand it and know I have to change. I am certain that a majority of my issues will go away with this addiction. Though there is a certain hopelessness I feel due to the fact that there are some deep relationship issues that both my wife and I struggle with. Regardless I am certain that kicking PMO will result in positive things in my life even if my marriage doesn't work. I have confessed my addiction to my wife and that was rough! I would say she took it very well, she actually has been suspicious that I was having an affair which I have not! I know I can't change her, and I don't want to. But I'm very hurt in our relationship. My biggest challenge is trying to understand how much of it is me due to my addiction vs how much is due to a relationship that has major issues? How can I cope in this relationship through the toughest parts of reboot? My only real solution has been to white knuckle through the stress, that works but eventually ends in a relapse. I try to focus on the things a good husband will do like helping with chores, kids, etc. to focus my energy on that rather than how bad I'm edging. I know without a doubt that there is no reason to delve into relationship issues with a therapist or anything until I'm clean. Because an addict isn't in any place to be working on issues in a relationship until that is no longer a factor. My struggle is fighting through the addiction while in the midst of life in all this chaos. My wife also struggles from stress issues. School, work, parenting, homemaking all are hard on her along with the fact that I work 60+ hour weeks. She has issues coping with the stress as well. She has a bad habit of projecting her stress onto me and blaming me for her stress which adds to mine. My wife is not a very understanding person. I love her, but she's not someone who is able to empathize with people and she can come down on me pretty hard when I'm edging without her even knowing what I'm struggling through. When I try to express myself I usually don't get a positive response. This has created resentment for each of us toward each other. I feel like self talk/prayer is a solution to these issues that I need to work on. What other thoughts do people have? Thanks for anyone who takes the time to read!