GuyBuffalo
Fapstronaut
Hello, this is my first post. I started looking at porn at a very young age. I think i was like 13 when i started doing it regularly. Im 39 now, married with 2 kids. I used PMO as a coping mechanism for my abandonment issues my whole life.
Ive been married for 17 years. We had a great sex life, but outside of that I let my insecurities erode our relationship. I convinced myself It was ok to fulfill my needs outside of my marriage. I did that for about 5 years, until i could no longer bare the shame and guilt. I was depressed and hated myself. Still do. I came clean about 3 months ago now, and am getting professional help for me and my wife.
Thats what brings me here. I swore off P and M and will only orgasm with my wife. The first month was hard and I really only looked at some thirst trap videos of FB. It did progressively get worse. I went down videos on you tube until I "accidentally" stumbled onto more thirst trap shit. I essentially kept putting myself into harms way to catch a glimps of something. Until I did it like everday for like 5 days.
So I on like day 6 now. Ive been completely open and honest with my wife through this process. That has been very hard, but she is a Saint and Im possibly the luckiest man alive to still have her. I want to make sure I never give up so i can be the husband she deserves. I will spend my life making amends. Im so happy I found a place to come for support. This community has helped me so much already. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
Ive been married for 17 years. We had a great sex life, but outside of that I let my insecurities erode our relationship. I convinced myself It was ok to fulfill my needs outside of my marriage. I did that for about 5 years, until i could no longer bare the shame and guilt. I was depressed and hated myself. Still do. I came clean about 3 months ago now, and am getting professional help for me and my wife.
Thats what brings me here. I swore off P and M and will only orgasm with my wife. The first month was hard and I really only looked at some thirst trap videos of FB. It did progressively get worse. I went down videos on you tube until I "accidentally" stumbled onto more thirst trap shit. I essentially kept putting myself into harms way to catch a glimps of something. Until I did it like everday for like 5 days.
So I on like day 6 now. Ive been completely open and honest with my wife through this process. That has been very hard, but she is a Saint and Im possibly the luckiest man alive to still have her. I want to make sure I never give up so i can be the husband she deserves. I will spend my life making amends. Im so happy I found a place to come for support. This community has helped me so much already. Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!
