Married looking for newbie partner

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by ado, May 6, 2015.

  1. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Well done day 24 is phenomenal. I'm on day 9 today and am noticing a big shift in my mental outlook. I used to see beautiful women and desire them. Now I am beginning to control the lustful urges. Also and this is something more poignant, I always used to recall old relationships I have had with women over the years. Ex girlfriends, id normally think of them from time to time through the day- just odd thoughts but is notice feelings attached to them. When I was fapping and down I would kind off go back to those times years ago when I was 19, 20,21, 22 etc. It's gone thank god. Or at least not bothered me the last few days. I'm here in the present. If I can get a hold on this disease I think I can control anything in my life. Well done to you and thanks for your story. In your own way your an inspiration as are all the other posters here in this forum.
     
    Nerdman likes this.
  2. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 25 - take that PMO pow bam slam.
    As much as I look forward to weekends, with work and stuff during the week my less idle brain has much opportunity for PMO, thankful for that.
     
    therealjocab likes this.
  3. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Day 10 and feeling like a lion!
     
  4. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 26, nothing new to say today, way too busy with work.
     
  5. Carmelstick76

    Carmelstick76 Fapstronaut

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    Day 10 for me. I have been getting myself ready for work the night before now. (Ironing clothes, taking bathes... Etc). I feel like I'm going out more not just lingering around the house. I am not lusting at every woman I see. I am just looking at them as a human being. I'm feeling sexy, confident, and strong!
     
  6. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Day 11. I feel amazing. Coincidentally last night on TV was the film "40 days and 40 nights" with josh harnett. Basically this movie is exactly what were going through. He has a bad experience with a relationship and decides to have no sex/ masturbation for 40days and nights. A passage in the movie really hit home with me. Towards the end of his challenge people are taking bets he won't make it and trying to derail his efforts. At one point 2 hot women approach him in a side room at work and try to get him to have sex with them ( they have bet they can make him break his vow) the interesting point was that one of the women said to him that by staying celibate he "was taking the power away from women" and they were trying to take it back. It hit me like a bolt of realization . When you lust over a pretty girl she has power over you. When you fantasise and fap your giving away your power. I can't describe what this realization has done for me ( and I hope it will awaken you too)

    Anyway today walking in my office I could interact with the many beautiful women I work with and not feel any lust for them. I was laughing and joking with them without any hint of desire. And I felt like I had POWER. Almost as if the world could have caved in and I could deal with it, another thing that never happens to me, I was walkin through the mall and saw a pretty girl working at a kiosk selling phones, she glanced over at me walking and I could see her blush and smile and she looked at me right in the eyes and said "hello" I just smiled at her and carried on walking!!
     
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  7. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

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    I feel the same way. I'm not married but am in a 4 year relationship with a really beautiful smart woman. I feel keeping it a secret will lose her.
     
  8. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

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    Be careful. That buzz lowers your level of consciousness. It will make it easier for porn to creep in.
     
  9. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Hi again MattRN,

    your story seems great. Do you want to talk about it, here on in private?
    Is it not hard to stop P having a girl by your side? Does this make it harder?

    Don't you want to have a counter? What's the number of days you're on?

    So many questions :rolleyes:

    See ya!
     
  10. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

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    Yes, I do want a counter. Can't seem to figure out how to get it. I seem to only be able to find P on the computer....JK.
    Yes i think it makes it much harder. I feel obligated to please her. Makes me crave the dopamine and feel rejection on the days I can't perform :-(
    I hate it. I want to move on. I feel that I need to tell her. I just don't know how to bring it up.
    "My D*%# doesn't work cause I look at P too much"

    :-(
     
  11. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    It's very easy, click on mine and follow the steps ! You will need a google account though.
    Or I can do one for you.


    It's exactly what I wanted to bring up. I agree with you, it must be harder with a GF.
    You have ED.. Damn man.. You have all my support. Don't ever hesitate to talk to me, here on in private. I try to make myself as available as possible !

    Stay strong today ! :mad::mad:
    See ya !
     
  12. MattRN

    MattRN Fapstronaut

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    Yea it is pretty common. Wish I stopped when I was your age. I started watching P at 13 or 14.
     
  13. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    And I wish I stopped when I was younger. 22 makes things already pretty hard.
     
  14. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Boys don't beat yourselves!!
    If you guys are in your 20s your a decade younger than some of us older guys!!

    It's not your physical age that counts. Once you regain your energy you'll feel younger anyway. I'm in much better shale physically and mentally than when I was 20-25

    Day 12 successfully navigated and I feel great.

    The key to all this is being able to transmute the energy into something positive like meditation or weight training etc. If I become lazy I will relapse and the whole cycle of self destruction repeats !!
     
  15. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    12 days, congrats !
     
  16. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 30 complete! Day 30 was actually my 32nd birthday also the day after my 4th anniversary. I made my first goal! On to 90 days friends!
    First let me say last night we went to the city (I took wife as a surprise) and we had a great time. But, toward the end there were two girlies with no tops on. What the !!!! Well, off course I looked. And I wanted to. ): Obviously there was no MO, but this was awfully close to P. It's that seeing + arousal + enjoyment that gets conditioned in your mind. Anyway the image stuck in my mind the rest of the night and I was constantly bombarded with lust. Combined with a guilty feeling. This one was obviously different from a usual, this is one of the few times I've ever seen a random live naked woman.
    Had to get all that out, full 30 day update to follow!
     
  17. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    30 day summary! last night was the most difficult (read above) but I still had complete resolve to not PMO. In fact, I want PMO less than any point I can ever remember. For many of the last few years porn was more about laziness or depression or my D than it really was about urges or need. However I consider myself addicted because I Wanted to stop, but wouldn't. Let me say I started at day 0 with the beginnings of PIED for the first time in my life. Well, since then I've been having less O and less S but nonetheless no ED. S has been so much better. It's not so much physically or lustfully better, but it feels better in a "good" way. Hard to explain but almost "morally" good. Kind of the exact opposite of the shameful guilty O that accompanies PM.
    The first week went the slowest (it's only been 3 days!?!?) but once I hit 10 days or so I hit a stride and day 30 snuck up on me (I was even off by a few days count this week ha). One thing I keep recommending to everyone - post here every day and follow a few people and read their posts. The first few days I spent hours reading here. It's not a guaranteed cure but it really keeps your mind above your hormones and it allows you to talk and listen about the problem. Thanks to however reads! Thanks to God! And thanks to my great wife!
     
    Esteban and Nerdman like this.
  18. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Hi ado,

    Congrats on your achievement ! Great job!
    I'm proud you made it to 30 days, I'm also on my way to 30 days.
    Moving on to the 90 days challenge then? Great for you!

    Hopefully you resisted last night, keep the good work !

    Bless you !
     
  19. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Day 14
    This is beginning to feel normal
    I feel strong!
    The danger is the weather had been good and lots of pretty girls out! Keeping my eyes off them and focusing though!
     
  20. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 32, on to 90!
     

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