Married looking for newbie partner

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by ado, May 6, 2015.

  1. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Day 16 completed
    I feel like a different person to the guy 16 days ago who commenced this challenge.
    More stable. Less prone to emotional upheaval. Enjoying simple things more like sitting down to read, spending time in other people's company. The only issue I've had in the last couple of days is the weather is warm and there lots of beautiful women around wearing very little. I'm just looking away right now and keeping under control.


    I don't want to go back to being the guy I was. I feel right now I can face and overcome any obstacle. As though I'm becoming the man I was meant to be

    Thanks again to all of you in this forum.
     
  2. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Congrats man on your achievement !
    16 days is awesome ! I hope I'll make it to 16 days !

    Keep strong and focus on why we are here. It's good you try not to look to women. Eventually you'll be able to do it without having arousal but for now, no looking !
    You already know all that!
    Have a greatd ay !
     
  3. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks above @Esteban

    It gets easier and by distracting yourself you can easily switch off to all the distractions around you.

    I feel the first few days were tougher than now. The first 7 days were torture compared to the last 7 days I've been through. If the next 7 are like the past 7 then I see no reason why I can't get to 30 without any problems.

    Small steps. Now I know how much this process empowers you I'm not even worried about a relapse. The conditioning of habit is wearing off. Prior to discovering this website I didn't even know I had a problem to correct. Fapping and porn are so mainstream now that people can fall in the trap of thinking that it's normal behaviour.

    Even if your not looking at porn, everything is designed to appeal to you at a level of sexual instinct. Until you know about it you don't even know your being manipulated. I walked through the mall today and saw a poster in one of the women's stores h&m which showed a hot chick lying on a bench with a short skirt and her legs open. The shot was designed in sure to get you staring up her skirt but had been angled so you couldn't see anything. I even walked past some of the women's underwear and lingerie stores on my way to the good court- would you believe they had Victoria's Secret, la senza and another one next door to one another- all 3 god damn store had hot women on all the from posters- this shit is everywhere man!! Designed to get you horny and pull you from being centred!! And therefore stop you from engaging with the higher thinking centres in your brain and keep you using your more primitive animal instinct centres. Most men probably don't even notice it they're so de conditioned.

    I've noticed when I'm reading I can concentrate for longer and also understand information more easily as well as retain it. I've also started reading again when for the last few months I simply could not be bothered.

    Onwards and upwards....!
     
    ado and Esteban like this.
  4. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Thumbs up man, this is so true !

    Sadly, you are right. I don't mean to be rude but many people seem to have no interest at all int the big questions. I cannot understand how people can live their lives without questioning everything and learning stuff.

    Cool, what are you reading ?
    Do you want to do a lecture of the same book as me? I don't know how it's called.. joint lecture ?
    Anyway we could agree on a book to read and share our thoughts. If you are interested I'll have the time to read it in let's say 10 days. I'm too busy right now.

    See ya !
     
  5. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 35: should I fap? No thank you!
    Life without the fap is good. Don't miss it one bit. Don't miss the peid I started getting. Don't miss the numbness. Don't miss weak Os. Don't miss smutty trash in my brain. Don't miss sneaking around or strange half-relationships with pixels.
    It's been 35 days but it feels like 35 years. I had been in a cycle of lies for too long, I'm glad during this time the cycle has been broken.
     
    wi_ash and Esteban like this.
  6. Esteban

    Esteban Fapstronaut

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    Thumbs up ado ! Stay vigilant !
     
  7. wi_ash

    wi_ash Fapstronaut

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    One term that will particularly be left on my mind from this thread is "half-relationships with pixels."
    I never saw it that way, until now.

    ***

    Re: Joint Lecture, Please count me in.

    ***
    For a better us
     
  8. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Today has been a dangerous day. I'm kind of a news junkie - and as usual there are almost always stories about this nude person and that nude person. Today I clicked on one of the stories and a few follow up links. Fortunately none of them contained actual nsfw stuff but I was clearly headed that way.
    I also had an attracted moment with my wife today. A number of posts ago I mentioned how I'm trying not to reinforce the same pathways in my mind with my wife that do with porn (it's a subtle distinction). Well I made advances - fortunately she rejected me :) but still the advance is most of the problem. (Please don't misunderstand me, I still want to be attracted to my wife just in a different way and less animal-like)
    Then Again I saw another link just now that said "celebrity X reveals too much!!" But I didn't click on it, but I really wanted to (for this it's all about curiosity).
    So I logged onto the forum here, read some things and I'm gonna take a prayer break as soon as my meeting is over.
     
  9. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    :)
    This is similar to why I have refused to sign up for Facebook. Even with real people you know, interacting digitally with people is not real relating. The digital world must be a factor in all these people that come on here saying they can't have human relationships.
    Don't get me wrong, I send texts and things which can be the same problem, but those are usually out of convenience and my primary relating is in person.
     
  10. wi_ash

    wi_ash Fapstronaut

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    I just thought now that this is maybe the reason why I don't have much friends or simply what you call "human relationships".
    I now admit that I (most of the times) intentionally go away from them for some apparent reasons and probably this addiction has the biggest weight.
     
  11. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks
    Reading a few things right now. Thomas Paine- the rights of man
    Letters to a young contrarian christopher hitchens
    Carry on Jeeves -PG Wodehouse
    Just finished reading 1984 for the second time (read as a teenager) George Orwell
    I used to read self help endlessly than realised most of it is the same old recycled stuff. So over the last few months am moving towards philosophy as I want to get an insight into how some of histories great thinkers thought.
     
  12. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    Day 20 done and dusted
    Had sex with the wife the other day and must say felt drained after the orgasm the what day- even though it was very intense. Perhaps it's time to try tantra again and learn to utilize a whole body orgasm rather than the usual ejaculatory orgasm I often find makes me tired the next day?

    Anyway not posted for a couple of days. Haven't fapped or looked at porn for 20 days though which is fantastic. Noticed after inter course that last couple of days been staring hopelessly at hot women! Perhaps total celibacy is the best path for me in terms of self control??
     
  13. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 42-
    Time is flying by. I still can't get over how S has been more varied experiences since NoFap begun. Some times have been more intense, some more emotional, some more exciting, some stronger arousal. Today was another great example with a brief but intense O. I just remember things were very static almost monotonous when PMO was a regular part of the diet.
    I don't have a wild imagination or a good memory, but this week was the first time since NoFap that I started getting some of those images pop in my head. It was while I was thinking about my NoFap progress. It kind of felt like my brain was starting to purge it. But, hopefully I'll forget totally all about it after a few years of nofap. If it's possible with anyone's memory it's mine! I wonder if anyone on here has "forgotten" practically all the P images from their past.
    On to 90 days!
     
  14. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 46- I've passed the halfway point to my 90 day goal.
     
  15. Jay8019

    Jay8019 Fapstronaut

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    I made it to 30days!!!!!
    Hahahahahahah!! Feel great
     
  16. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 48 -
    Just wanted to come on and mention our culture sucks re: P. I was bombarded to today on blogs and news with "news" about P and the like. Way above average today, just thought I would share and make sure it doesn't lead to "curious" link surfing.
     
  17. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 50. Doing some hard mode this week, which is much easier after getting out of the habit of always responding to my urges. It's a whole lot easier now than it used to be for sure.
     
  18. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 54 - just considered fapping. Then I signed on here and didn't. It's ridiculous how it still feels like a good idea despite all the benefits of nofap and all the suckiness of PMO.
     
  19. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    I was 90% about to click a "nsfw" video. Thankfully I didn't. This is the second day in a row that it's been harder than normal. Weird considering how many days into it. I think I've relaxed a bit on being strict with my urges. I need to shoot every one of them down.
     
  20. ado

    ado Fapstronaut

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    Day 58 - what's good nofap?
     

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