Married with Children Accountability Group

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by TheNewDrew42, May 15, 2019.

  1. TheNewDrew42

    TheNewDrew42 Fapstronaut

    I am 41, married, 4 kids, and would like to start an accountability group with some men of similar age, or similar life circumstance.

    Thinking of using Discord or something similar for meetings, either 1 or 2x per week. Thinking of using accountability software of some type to share with each other.

    I've been watching this part of the forum for a couple weeks looking for someone who could fit the profile, but haven't had any hits yet. So I thought I'd jump in, start a group, and see who joins!
     
    Mr. McMarty and persona2903 like this.
  2. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Hi @HumanFailRobot , 50M married with 2 teen kids here. I start with NoFap at the end of march and i have reach a goal of 27 days (like you now)... then i relapsed. So, here i am again in the fight, but in this time trying with AP. This week I feel weak but i do not get out of blance!
    See you!
     
  3. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    46, 2 kids, and that has to stop. I'm in. Not with the mother of my sons anymore (broke up 6 years ago), but been with a wonderful girlfriend for the past 5 years.
     
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  4. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Hi all!
    I have very nice weekend. Now begining the hard part of the week...
    How did you do?
     
  5. TheNewDrew42

    TheNewDrew42 Fapstronaut

    https://discord.gg/n8Ftezj
    I set up a Discord channel for us. So we're all set - we just need to figure out days/times that will work for everyone. Right now, my best times during the week are after 9pm ET, and on the weekends are really just a toss up. I'm willing to be flexible to the extent that I can for anyone else who wants to participate. So maybe let's just look at setting up a day and time for the first one. What say you? I propose tomorrow (Thursday 5/23) at 9pm ET for the first one, and we can go from there!

    Have a great day!
     
    Lifelongaddict and persona2903 like this.
  6. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    9PM eastern is one of the best time for me too. Altough it will sometimes conflict with my gym schedule, like tomorrow, but for sure i'll be able to be there for 30 minutes.
     
  7. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    Not bad! And, not good either. Just can't wait for the damn thoughts being out of my mind. Been struggling with this for years now and it is still quite present event after all those failed attempts. Weirdly (maybe that is a good thing), urges are more toward masturbation than porn itself. Still fighting.

    I do try to be much more listening to my emotions to see what can push me to masturbate and... as hard as I try, sometimes I do fail to see why. Actually had a really good weekend with all the family together (3 teens). Of course it is a little bit harder sometimes with my kids with down syndrome, but he was really good last weekend. My and GF were great, and my relationship with her daughter just keep getting better and better (it took her years to accept me).

    So sometimes I just feel like an alcoholic that need his drink. It's a matter of habit I need to change. But what a hard one to kick out.

    Let's keep this topic on top so we can have more people like us joining!
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2019
  8. persona2903

    persona2903 Fapstronaut

    Thank you for sharing all this, @Peter808!
    32 days its a good mark, go on man...
     
  9. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    I completely missed the dicord meetup. Sorry about this guys. Did anyone show?

    I do realize that journalling / coming here on a daily basis is a bit harder than I thought. Just like now I checked my personal journal and last entry was ... last Wednesday! Holy crap! So starting Monday I will set a new goal to come here for a least 30 to 45 minutes everyday. I think from 8:45 to 9:30 should be good when I do have my boys, and will probably be a bit earlier when I don't, because of my gym schedule.

    As for the last few days, have to watch myself. Everything in my life is good but... Still got urges. Some harder to fight. What do you guys do when you feel like going on autopilot? For me, avoiding autopilot is ok. It's when my mind starts wandering and do fall on autopilot that it takes so much efforts to get out of it. In those times, it's like I completely forget about the harm I am doing and the shit I'm putting myself into. It's like nothing exists anymore. I know in the end I am looking for some kind of escape - though not sure why. I am better than before at stopping myself but it takes effort.

    Thats is a tough thing to get rid of.

    So I am usually good when I stay focused to avoid my triggers. And it's not even about triggers now. I AM ok with them - they don't push me anymore - I can see a sexy lady, see sex scenes etc., and not go crazy. It's just this routine autopilot thing that is harder for me to realize that I should be doing something else than to reach for my penis... Are we condemned in a way to HAVE to stay focused 100% of the time?

    Just blablaing this morning, but just this feels good :)
     
  10. TheNewDrew42

    TheNewDrew42 Fapstronaut

    Hi Pete! Yeah I was there for a bit but no one showed up. I want to try again this week, but I’m not sure what day or time is best. Will Thursday night at 9 work again or should we plan on Wednesday? We don’t have to keep it on that day of the week forever - just looking to get the meetings off the ground. Let me know if Wed or Thurs is better. Later!
     
  11. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    For this week, since I have my boys all week, I think either one is good. Would probably jump in around 9:30 though.
     
  12. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    Well guys, if I want this to work I got to be honest with my GF, you and most of all, myself. Today I am resetting my counter. Had a great weekend, had sex like twice yesterday morning. But I know I won't see my girlfriend till next Friday and I just let my guard down.

    It is like sometimes:
    1. I get scared I won't make it to next time so I just do it;
    2. I still see an opportunity because there will be a long time before I see her. That time, it was this. Could have made a better decision.
    Anyway, back to day one. Uncontrolled chaser effect I guess. No porn involved. Just nice images of my morning with my GF.

    Hang in there guys, I want to see you get to your 90 days.
     
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  13. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    Back on track. Am focused and mindful. No real urges today but I am motivated :).
     
    TheNewDrew42 likes this.
  14. bikinhappy

    bikinhappy Fapstronaut

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    Awesome group!
    I am 37 with 1 daughter and 1 son.
    My daughter is 4 yo, my son is 1 yo.
    Expecting the 3rd child now.
    I am on different timezone as you guys, so probably I can't join the discord.
    However I will check the thread closely :)
    Keep up the great work guys!
     
  15. Peter808

    Peter808 Fapstronaut

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    Hey Bikinhappy!

    Welcome to our group!
     
  16. TheNewDrew42

    TheNewDrew42 Fapstronaut

    Discord chat this week will be at 9:30ET on Thursday. @bikinhappy, what time zone are you in? We're still feeling out what works for people, so if there is a better time that works for you during the week, we can try to set that up for next time. Just let me know!

    As for me personally - doing pretty well. I just need to stay cautious and on the offensive, because everything is going REALLY well right now, and I need to watch out for anything that could try to derail that.

    Talk to you again soon!
     
    persona2903 likes this.
  17. Mr. McMarty

    Mr. McMarty Fapstronaut

    You still got the room for another? I need an AP. Married with two kids I'm 47y central time Texas
     
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  18. TheNewDrew42

    TheNewDrew42 Fapstronaut

    Bring it on, @Mr. McMarty! If you can make it, tomorrow night at 8:30 Central will be discord chat. Look forward to having you with us!
     
    Mr. McMarty likes this.
  19. Mr. McMarty

    Mr. McMarty Fapstronaut

    I don't know what discord chat is?
     
  20. need4realchg

    need4realchg Fapstronaut

    You click the link after downloading the app. Then it’s like a group live chat.

    Btw I’m joining too. Also on Texas time when I’m not traveling but I don’t mind catching up when I miss something. I am doing so to guide myself to become more m mature. Not simply for pmo stuff.
     
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