Masculinity

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At the age of 20, I don't have a beard. Just a few hair on my chin. My skin all over my body also has less hair and I'm only 5 feet 7 inches tall.
Also I get puffy nipples unless I am in a cold environment.
And whenever I make a mistake, even a little one, I began cursing myself and I feel that I'm not competent enough. I get emotional quickly, that is, I'm really sensitive. I blush like a little girl when someone insults me.

I know majorly this all depends on your genetics but I feel that this is destroying my self-esteem. I need some ways to destroy all these inhibitions of mine which are making my life miserable.
I want a healthy life.

I want to be a bold, daring person. Who can go and talk with anyone he wants. Who can let go of past mistakes. Who doesn't give a crap about what others think of him. Who can handle embarrassments and insults.
I want to be masculine.

I have started working out daily but I need some more ways in which I can be a better much mature person.
Please help.
 
The easiest way to attain some masculinity is to start lifting. Seriously, nothing beats the pump of a good workout. This also helps develop discipline, as you have to maintain a proper diet to go hand in hand with your lifting. After some time, you'll start noticing differences in yourself physically, and you'll feel proud knowing that you've worked hard, and made a positive change in your life.

Also, you say that you beat yourself up even after making minor mistakes. That's the wrong mindset to have. You have to realize that everyone makes mistakes. No one is perfect. That's just the way life works. Even the people at the peak of what they do have made mistakes in the process of getting to where they are. But they didn't beat themselves up for it like you are. They simply accepted that the mistake happened, learned from it, and moved on. You simply need to replace your insecure mindsets with self assuring and confident mindsets. Remember, you can be good at anything, but if your thinking isn't right, then that isn't going to get you anywhere.

You want to be a bold and daring person who can talk to anyone? Then the solution is simple. Go and talk to anyone. That's it. It'll be awkward at first, but as you keep on doing it, and work on improving your mindsets, then things will become natural for you.
 
UKSD said:
Read No More Mr. Nice Guy and embrace what the book entails.
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This x100. This book is so useful for so called "Nice Guys" who want to make a change. I would highly recommend it. Another book you should read is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. That book is going to teach how to truly become a master at socializing and dealing with people.
 
UKSD said:
First get your hormone levels checked. Do a testosterone level test and check the results against people your age. Read No More Mr. Nice Guy and embrace what the book entails. What @av_2905 said is correct, lifting weights will naturally make you feel stronger and more 'alpha'. It does for me.
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Lol what will change after the blood results? Nothing just start lifting my buddy get active lose weight Sleep early know what your eating.
 
Artificial said:
Lol what will change after the blood results? Nothing just start lifting my buddy get active lose weight Sleep early know what your eating.
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Nothing will change, he will just know if it's a hormonal problem and he can work from there. If not, no harm done.
 
I was in your shoes around that age. I would over think things, worry about what people thought and had general self esteem issues. Actively putting yourself outside your comfort zone will do wonders. just takes time is all, you'll get there buddy!
 
To be honest.... snap. I’m pretty much the same. I have what I call "Babyfluff bead" pretty self-explanatory :D I often take a confidence dive and feel a lot less confident when stuff goes wrong, especially grades for me. And I too am on the sensitive side of the spectrum :D

First of all nice to know others are the same!

Second: I’d suggest trying and doing something out of your comfort zone. For me I am overweight, but I took up Ballroom and swing dance and it's like a different side of me! Never done anything like that before, never thought of doing it. But I saw it, thought that I should give it a go and it was great! Granted I'm not that good at it... but it's the taking part right? Hahaha :D

Just try and think of something you've never done before and have a go at it. That will automatically make you a bit bolder, and give you more to talk about and more people to talk to.

As for lingering on past mistakes, there's a line you need to cross. You can't just ignore the mistakes and carry on, but you can't think about a minor thing that you did 2 weeks ago. Trust me I've done that. I found something that works for me is to think about it when doing something mundane, such as walking to university or washing dishes, and come up with a solution to what it was, and what happened before that to cause that mistake. I don't like that term. It’s just an event that doesn't go according to plan. But I think trying to work through it and prevent it in the future can massively help you to move on from them. Also trying to fit in some relaxation.

And good luck with the workout! I’m doing the same as well :D just gaining 1" on your arms or whatever is a great start and can help confidence massively. Just try to keep a weekly track of it. :D
 
Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions guys. Its really good to know that there are people out there who are willing to help unconditionally.

To be honest, its not that I'm unattractive. A few girls HAVE approached me in the past. And I friendzoned them :p ... The thing is, on close introspection, I realised that i am too insecure. I keep looking for cues that say to me that I'm not good enough. And "you get what you find", right?

Anyways, I had an amazing workout today (I do freeletics) and im feeling like I can crush a rock (no pun intended!) with my bare hands.

Thanks again, guys. Hope you all have an amazing day!
 
Just something to work through is all! I'm curious about freeletics, I like to workout (haven't in a while lol but gonna get back to it) but have never heard the term, what is it?
 
BetterMan123 said:
Just something to work through is all! I'm curious about freeletics, I like to workout (haven't in a while lol but gonna get back to it) but have never heard the term, what is it?
Click to expand...

Its an amazing app on android and iOS. It includes bodyweight exercises. So you can do it anywhere and whenever you feel like. You don't even need any equipments. Trust me it really kicks your ass!
 
Abdullah said:
At the age of 20, I don't have a beard. Just a few hair on my chin. My skin all over my body also has less hair and I'm only 5 feet 7 inches tall.
Also I get puffy nipples unless I am in a cold environment.
And whenever I make a mistake, even a little one, I began cursing myself and I feel that I'm not competent enough. I get emotional quickly, that is, I'm really sensitive. I blush like a little girl when someone insults me.

I know majorly this all depends on your genetics but I feel that this is destroying my self-esteem. I need some ways to destroy all these inhibitions of mine which are making my life miserable.
I want a healthy life.

I want to be a bold, daring person. Who can go and talk with anyone he wants. Who can let go of past mistakes. Who doesn't give a crap about what others think of him. Who can handle embarrassments and insults.
I want to be masculine.

I have started working out daily but I need some more ways in which I can be a better much mature person.
Please help.
Click to expand...
I was pretty much the same in terms of behavior. Well what i realised was that pmo screws your hormone levels so maybe that explains why you blush like a girl and all you've stated. I'm 23, haven't been able to grow a proper beard and stand at 5'8". I'd just advise you to start exercising, eat well, hang out with you guy friends and pick up a hobby ( was guitar for me) and just have patience. And what people think is none of your business. Let them keep their thoughts and opinions to themselves. No one really cares unless they're your family or close friends. So chill out, fight your pmo addiction, exercise and just be a positive and a kind person in general.
 
Buzz Lightyear said:
Work out both physically and mentally. Develop that brain mind into a powerhouse. Read the best that has been written.
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Yeah I love reading too.
I'm currently reading "Awaken the Giant within" by Tony Robbins, "People Watching" by Desmond Morris, and I recently finished an amazing book called "When Breath becomes Air" by Paul kalanithi.
 
learn to just not give a fuck, and believe in yourself. No one else will love you the way you'd love yourself, no one would care for you the way you care for yourself, when you start to uplift yourself that's how you can start being confident, and try to better your social, work life and achieve your dreams.
 
Nycto said:
learn to just not give a fuck, and believe in yourself. No one else will love you the way you'd love yourself, no one would care for you the way you care for yourself, when you start to uplift yourself that's how you can start being confident, and try to better your social, work life and achieve your dreams.
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It's taking practice but I'm getting better each day
 
Puffy nipples are a symptom of high estrogen. Like the other guys recommended, get your testosterone levels checked. Then start taking action to naturally increase your levels: eating cholesterol, lifting weights, NoFap, vitamin D, cold showers, competitive sports, etc.

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty".

You're young. Caring less about what others think of you will come with life experience.

Trust me.
 
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