Massage parlors

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by ZVR, Mar 1, 2023.

  1. ZVR

    ZVR Fapstronaut

    I’ve been a porn user since adolescence but it has led to other behaviors over the years. One time I masturbated at work because there was a pool with a bunch of college girls tanning outside. Definitely not proud of that. About 10 years ago I went to a strip club and got a bj. Ashamed of that. One time I met a girl on pof and went to her house and had sex with her. She was not even good looking. It was gross really. Also not proud. Neither of those became habitual though.

    However, about 5 years ago now the idea of going to massage places came into my mind. At first I just got turned on because the Chinese massage places aren’t super “careful” how they touch you like a more reputable place would be. I don’t even remember how it happened the first time, if I initiated or what, but I remember the lady pointing to my erection and giving me approval to take care of myself. I hadn’t been on a date for like 8 years at the time. It started to become at least a monthly thing. Since then, twice I’ve found “the real deal” places and got handjobs. 2 years apart. But I’ve had a habit of going to Chinese massage whether or not I masturbate there. Just because I get so turned on.

    I’ve been single a looooong time. Like starving for femal attention long time. But I don’t want that to be an excuse. I’m afraid after I meet someone and get married that this behavior will continue.

    Besides this, I still use porn. Does anyone have any advice? It’s so difficult to not go get a massage. Even if I don’t masturbate, like I said I’m getting a thrill out of it. That’s not healthy. I wouldn’t want anyone to know about it, meaning I shouldn’t be doing it.
  2. A6659

    A6659 Fapstronaut

    I live in a small town in California, population 120,000. I came here from outta state 8 years ago to live with my girlfriend at the time. I used to work overseas, mostly in the middle east and Asia. In Dubai there was a massage place close to the hotel I would frequent. It helped me deal with loneliness. This was something I did when I traveled and I kept it separate from my home life.
    When I was on days off I started going to parlors here. I learned quickly how prevalent these places were, even in my little hometown. My girlfriend worked during the day.
    I thought nothing of going in and getting a rub down. I considered it as my time, a mini vacation during the day. My work schedule was very flexible so I would easily take an hour to myself when ever I felt like it.
    I wasn't proud I was doing this but for the most part it didn't bother me. Some times I felt bad for the woman. They were 100% human trafficked. They were always friendly and dressed sexy.
    I got to know some personally. I would joke with them. One or two developed feelings for me. It was easy to have my ego satisfied.
    One time I was standing up and the girl was on the massage table. I pretended to the masseuse and gave her a massage. She thought it was really funny.
    Another time I was talking to my regular girl and she started to cry. I have no idea of her story. She was trafficked from some poor village or slum in China. Who knows the horror she has endured. I changed businesses after that. I will never know where she is at the moment. But I pray she will find peace and safety.
    A problem I noticed towards the end of my using these places was that ALL the girls were Chinese. All of them. Not Philippine, not Taiwan. All from China. They would come up from Los Angles for two week rotations. Obviously this was organized to a high degree. Who was running this operation? My town isn't big but there are dozens and dozens of these places. Law enforcement and the community doesn't care or looks the other way. Why?
    It started to bother me and made me slightly paranoid. Who were all these people making this work?
    I tried a new place one day and noticed something. They had the exact same security cameras as the other place I went to. I mean the same make, model, brand, set up. You name it and it was the same.
    Who was watching the security video? Where was the footage going and being stored? It weirded me out like never before. The whole experience turned me off.
    About this time I got sober, I had broken up with my girlfriend and changed jobs. I bought a house and was exercising like never before.
    I still drive by the place I used to go. I drove past there yesterday. I can not even remember what it was like to ring the bell and walk through the door in the back parking lot. I honestly forget these places are there and haven't thought about it till reading your article.
    Massage parlors are poison. They are for soulless ghouls and predators who force these woman into a hellish existence.
    It took away energy from my relationship and self. But at the time I did't see it.
    Don't walk through those doors. It steals your soul.
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2023
  3. Massage parlors can spread infections and diseases, especially if massues are not careful in how they touch you. Some massage parlors lie about licenses or registration. Some infections have no early symptoms or can be difficult to medically diagnose.

    Masturbating at work is very risky. You could've been fired. You could have been accused of a sexual crime. But what work has tanning college girls and a pool outside? Strange workplace.

    The sexual act at the strip club is also risky with infections, as well as that dating website sex.

    Please be careful, my friend. I am happy the other behaviors were not habitual, but that massage parlor habit is definitely dangerous.
  4. ZVR

    ZVR Fapstronaut

    Painting by myself in an apartment by the pool. I don’t know how to describe how I feel about having done that. Like I can’t ignore that I actually did it. That means I’m the type of person who does that. Like a freaking alter ego or something.

    Bro, I’m so tired of worshipping sex. Right now I’m on this dating app and a conversation has turned sexual. Im at this crossroads where I know I just need to delete the app before I actually go over there. I know I’ll be more depressed than ever if I go screw a complete stranger.

    I’m not even good at sex I don’t last very long. Yet it’s all I think about. How miserable would I be to be with someone who made a big deal out of lasting long. That’s not what I want at all, I just want a good woman who understands that I have needs and loves me.

    But if I don’t go try to screw some sex addict on a dating app, what else can I do? I’ve been single for so long. I feel like well adjusted women are repelled by me, there’s an unstable neediness I give off. But I have tons going for me too. It’s just psychological.

    When I try to just not think anything sexual ever, and just accept that being single is my lot in life, eventually I just explode. Like these emotional problems come to the surface.
    WilliamTheChristian likes this.
  5. Wave tamer

    Wave tamer Fapstronaut

    Massages and sex produce oxytocin (the love drug chemical) It can be a nice retreat to unwind and let go of the daily stresses. And it actually works. I’ve been visiting them places for years along with other bad habits. But am coming away from that destructive lifestyle because it turns into a drug and a go to when you’re feeling crap, lethargic, bored, horny, depressed etc and it’s a total waste of money. 80% of the time the massages are pretty ammeter. Write a list of healthier self soothes. I find yoga or a good stretch in the gym sauna and steam room gives me a lot more vitality. Meditate, do something kind to someone, stroke a dog. These all produce oxytocin. And to be honest yea the massage can be relaxing and the turn on at the time of the girl getting you off can be stimulating. But do you ever leave feeling on your A game? Me personally leave feeling a bit sad id had to pay for it, drained of my seed and drained of a good bit of cash. They will have dirty sweaty guys in and out of those places all day pissed up farting on the sheets trying to grab their bums etc. The girls will usually be alcoholics or on the coke, a lot have been abused as kids and used to feeling like an object the Chinese ones get treated like cattle and moved about. They’ll have to do the extras to make it worth while when the greedy bosses are taking most of their earnings. Maybe if you need a massage that bad get a sports massage, the massage will be 10 times more beneficial. But it doesn’t quite have that same edge does it! These are things that go through my head! So do I actually need a massage or is that creepy little sex addicted brain just trying to find loop holes. Be the hero in your movie and does that guy deserve for a nice genuine girlfriend or some fishy handed tart taking his cash :)
    Brent456 and Bradziggler1990 like this.
  6. I won't say whether being single is okay or not. I suppose that is a personal thing that depends on you. However, I can assure you that there are some men who have not died from being single or without women. I have been single all my life and I am perfectly fine. I have refrained from sex for many years too. But again, I suppose every man is different.

    Some women might want sex a lot but they have alterior motives. Some of them want a baby very badly, and might even secretly damage, puncture, or misplace a condom for one. You can unexpectedly become a father and thus become forever tied to a complete stranger! You will very likely be forced to pay money (child support) to that complete stranger for the rest of your life. Maybe you don't like being single but this sudden fatherhood is definitely not a palatable solution, especially if she stops you from spending time with your own kid through false accusations or restraining orders.

    Some of the women have sexually transmitted infections, can not easily secure sex, and become desperate. Some women want resources and use sex for food, shelter, and money. A date is a free meal and a place to sleep if you take her to your place.

    There is a belief that men tend to have high libidos or greater libidos than women. Now some men change their own gender and become women. Thus they are women now but may retain the high libido that they previously had.

    Some women may naturally have high libidos. But when a woman realizes that she can secure resources from sex like food, shelter, money, children, and etc. then I feel she is more likely to have sex for those resources. Some societies may even encourage women to exchange sex for such resources.

    Let me put this another way. Suppose a man can have sex with any woman he wants without any effort or consequence. Would that man then have sex with a beautiful single women or with a beautiful married women? It honestly could come down to preference, but most men would likely prefer a single woman because she has more time to be with him. She is not continually distracted or occupied by a husband. The sex could be exactly the same from both women but the single woman provides an extra resource: time. Then also consider that some societies discourage sex with married women, further pushing a man more towards the single woman.

    So when a women or anyone really strongly desires sex, be mindful that there could be an alterior motive. You may wake up as a father or with an STI.
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2023