Massage parlour girl

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by sam30, Aug 6, 2021.

  1. sam30

    sam30 Fapstronaut

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    If you walk past a massage and you see a nice girl standing outside at the door way and it is then tempting you to go in there but you don’t but you keep on walking backwards and forwards like a weirdo Becuase the girl is making you arouse will this be an relapse??
     
    Meshuga likes this.
  2. HelperX

    HelperX Fapstronaut

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    Well, it kind of is a relapse, because you are there willingly and getting arousal. You should control your libido, that should be your goal but you are not doing that by watching girls and getting aroused by them.
     
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  3. Its not a relapse, but can be considered as edging

    You will get various responses whether it is or it isn't a relapse, but its up to you to decide. Edging puts you in danger of relapse, relapse is a direct act of indulging in your bad habit.
     
  4. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    It's a gray area.

    We're talking about a reset, not a relapse. Relapse is when you give in and quit rebooting your brain for a while. Reset is when you stumble on the way, and it's kind of up to you to define. Could be a full day of PMO binge, could be edging for an hour, could be something as simple as walking back and forth to check out a parlor girl. I only mention it because the language of addiction is important, both to our recovery and to the greater public. The board of psychiatry still hasn't included P addiction and PIED in their manual of treatable diseases, which gives a lot of addicts reason to not address their issue.

    I can go both ways on it. It's demoralizing to reset and can make addicts like ourselves prone to more resets. "I've already screwed up, might as well go full PMO," is the most common reaction, and we have to fight that because that is a lie the addiction is using to pull us into a full relapse. There's also shame attached to reset, and there shouldn't be. It takes guts to reset, because it's being honest with ourselves about where we are in recovery.
    The argument that edging is a reset, is that this activity does provide a disproportionate amount of dopamine to the brain by exploiting an erotic source. It reinforces those patterns of erotic stimulus=good, and your brain will continue to prompt the rest of your body to exploit those erotic sources. If we're looking at the physical part, and the mental part of the addiction, sexual fantasizing and edging qualifies as part of it. It seems unfair, because these are extremely easy to do and seem like a loophole, especially to an addicted mind. The justification is, "I'm not really looking at porn, I'm not even touching myself, so it's okay." It's still keeping those neural pathways open, though, the ones we most want to close.

    There is danger in being too hard on yourself. It threatens your mental health and could be discouraging enough to make you think you can't succeed where others have, and send you on a negative spiral. I know because I've been there, and I'm fighting a negative spiral right now. Regardless of what you choose to do, though, you didn't go into the parlor and you didn't M later, and you're still here fighting. There's a lot of value in that. There's value in honesty. There's value in persistence. Despite the psychiatrist's refusal to admit it, P addiction is an insidious and harmful condition that is extremely difficult to shake. Just being here shows you are a warrior willing to fight, and more honest with yourself than hundreds of thousands of porn addicted men out there in the world. Keep fighting, Sam, you can win.
     
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2021
  5. I_Am_Strong_54

    I_Am_Strong_54 Fapstronaut

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    My personal opinion, is that it's not a relapse. You were there and aroused, but did you go in? It sounds like you did not go in which proves you are getting stronger.
     
  6. No
     
    Buddhism Is True likes this.
  7. sam30

    sam30 Fapstronaut

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    I didn’t go in.. but it was very attemptive and my brains was hammering so hard and my heart beat was raising.. still felt I relapse Becuase I kept
    On looking at her and she kept on giving me eye contact
     
  8. sam30

    sam30 Fapstronaut

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    Next time when I walk past I will not pay attention or pretend not to look that way
     
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  9. sam30

    sam30 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for your advice much appreciated glad I can hear all your peoples advice
     
    Caveat Emptor likes this.
  10. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

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    She saw you were interested and was trying to close a sale. That's all that was. Good for you, you're staying strong.
     
    sam30 likes this.
  11. An0nym0use1234

    An0nym0use1234 Fapstronaut

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    WTF? Why are you posting this. You should be banned
     
  12. An0nym0use1234

    An0nym0use1234 Fapstronaut

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    His random post triggered me to look it up, and then search for massage parlors in my own area.

    Fucked up man. Massage parlors might not be the same exactly as porn, but it's the rooted in the same seeking behavior and objectification of women.
     

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