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Masturbating but without porn

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Sasha, Mar 8, 2018.

  1. Sasha

    Sasha Fapstronaut

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    It's been five days since I quit porn. I'm super horny all the time and the only way I can keep myself from watching porn is to masturbate (without porn).
    Sometimes I'll read literotica stories and masturbate to them or women I know from real life. Is anyone else doing this?
     
  2. Hufflekid

    Hufflekid Fapstronaut

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    There are, just hard mode tends to be where most people are.

    I think it's great tho to take things one step at a time. I'd encourage you to consider taking more and more time between when you masturbate and gradually eliminating it just as you did porn.
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  3. Sasha

    Sasha Fapstronaut

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    Sounds like some good advice. I'll try to do that. Thanks!
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  4. You are not alone! It seems that Hard mode is the one a lot of people go for... but we are all individuals, and personally for me, I think gradual change is effective change ( I've spend nearly 8 years meditating and it's taken that time for a lot of my own personal trauma to shift). But it all depends on the individual :)

    Just do what works for you - you can always try different approaches at different times if you wish
     
    Clean Plate likes this.
  5. Clean Plate

    Clean Plate Fapstronaut

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    It takes time to break the cycle. Like the others have said, each and everyone has their own journey. If porn is all you can quit now, more power to you. Work your way up to complete abstinence, we all start somewhere.
     
  6. diddykong

    diddykong Fapstronaut

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    The main problem I see with this strategy is that you're still using erotic stories and pornified fantasies. Yes they're "real girls" but the fantasy will still be a porn fantasy. It's essentially all porn and it all does the same stuff to your brain as more hardcore stuff. When I was addicted to PMO I would often use erotic stories to PMO - it really does do exactly the same thing to your brain as porn does. Your addict brain is still addicted, you're essentially just using a slightly "softer" drug to get your high.

    Once you break the link between porn and masturbation then you will be able to masturbate without using any mental stimulation. We all find our own way through this process - nothing in NoFap is scientifically based (there are no trials comparing recovery using different strategies) but anecdotally from these forums it seems that the vast majority of people that successfully break their dependency on porn do it using a complete break from masturbation. There is ultimately going to come a time when you will have to go onto hard mode and, just like quitting smoking, cutting down slowly really just doesn't work - with time people that cut down slowly don't really commit to fully stopping and eventually it just creeps back up again.

    Just like withdrawing from any drug you will get cravings and they suck. They are fortunately temporary and will pass. The excessive horniness is a construct of your addict brain trying to keep you addicted.

    As I said, we all have to find our own path but to truly break this addiction you are going to need to eventually commit to a hard mode reboot and unless you make a commitment to do that it will almost certainly never happen.
     
    Dagger323 and Freeddom_Taker like this.
  7. I think it's important to show compassion here and realise we are all different. Much easier for some to make small gains and wins before moving on to bigger challenges in a step-wise fashion, than keep on falling on a big challenge, losing heart and then giving up all together. Personally, I did cut down on smoking slowly over a period of years and when I was ready to quit - I just quit.

    As you said, there are no trials on this (I'm scientist and I run a clinical trial) and the hard reboot is ONE approach; a very good one, based on science and common sense, but not an absolute one. Let's not be didactic in our predictions
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  8. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    For your information, literotica i.e. erotic writing is porn. Masturbating is fake sex. Fantasising about having sex with real women is fake (they are not present with you). Porn is obviously fake, whether it is on a screen, on audio or in a book or even a text i.e. sexting.

    Your sex-addled brain is telling you that it is okay to do certain things as long as it is not hardcore sexual intercourse on a porn website. But it isn't that simple. All of the sexual activities you are engaged in release dopamine and, therefore, they exacerbate your porn addiction. You need to wake up to what you are doing to yourself or things will get worse! :(
     
    randomname3 likes this.
  9. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    So in your opinion, do you think that texting someone (without being too sexual) and getting aroused via some precum is a complete relapse? Not that I want to do this all the friggin time, but I don't know how to handle meeting up with someone for a coffee date for example you know? :oops:
     
  10. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    Precum is not a relapse nor are wet dreams. We all get hard ons periodically too.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  11. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

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    If you have to masturbate it’s best to do it minus porn.
     
  12. MasterMason93

    MasterMason93 New Fapstronaut

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    I agree. I had stopped watching porn but continued to masturbate relatively frequently and I've still been having issues with getting it up consistently with a chick. Think I'm gonna go cold turkey and quick whacking it for at least a full week
     
  13. Clean Willy

    Clean Willy Fapstronaut

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    I have quoted my original sentence again to clarify this point. The point I was making is that porn is fake sex. The remainder of the sentence are examples of the different forms this can take: video, audio, written in a book or in a text.
    So, sexting is explicit, sexual conversation designed to sexually arouse the participants. :oops: This may lead to masturbating.

    In answer to your specific question - "do you think that texting someone (without being too sexual) and getting aroused via some precum is a complete relapse?" - no. Even without any explicit sexual dialogue, you may still feel horny and your brain can trigger an erection and/or an emission of precum. This could also happen in a face to face conversation when arranging to meet for a date.
     
  14. Anonymous86

    Anonymous86 Fapstronaut

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    I see. Thanks. Also, how's your recovery going? Have you made any progress?
     

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