Masturbating once is not a "relapse" it's a "reset" - Risky/excessive masturbation can be a relapse.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Alexander, May 30, 2018.

  1. BostonGuy

    BostonGuy Fapstronaut

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    Hey guys, I kind of stopped counting my days since I last M. I've had relations with the wife but I O in under 30 seconds. Me and my wife agree that some M is ok. I have no urge to use P and I'm in a great place to gently M (with lube) to work on controlling myself before premature O.
     
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  2. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    Then why shouldn't masturbating once be considered a relapse for a masturbation addict? I think most of us are addicted to both, even though it started with porn.
     
  3. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Nope, it's a relapse, not a reset. Don't dilute it's importance.

    In any addictive behavior, even during a period of abstination, a single hit leads to a massive spike in hormones/neutrotransmitters, which is the one thing you have to avoid. It's actually better not to start in the first place than start and fail again and again.

    It leads the body/mind to think and expect the unhealthy reward can come at any time and it craves it even more.

    Ultimately, you're whitewashing masturbation because you personally think it's ok in moderation.
     
  4. kaihit

    kaihit Fapstronaut

    Well, I don't see a problem in M once in a while without porn, as long as it does not happen frequently.
     
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  5. harry287

    harry287 Fapstronaut

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    Bro I am not agree with you
    Think about those who have disease of addiction
    Not to everyone but ratio is 1/10
    I am one of them
    I have experience all mean
    First drink
    First drug
    First masterbuation does damage
    It start more craving and urge to do 2nd time then we people think it's OK to do then 3rd then go on
    2nd there is no mean of clean days if we think like you
    There is no need of counting sober days
    Thanx
     
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  6. maronite_metal_praise

    maronite_metal_praise Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Bro for a very educational piece, I find that when I'm on NoFap for a long period of time in the past and then when I end my streak, I end up masterbating but in the hope of resetting but then I go on this massive binge for days on end. But with the grace of God, I've picked myself up and I'm on day one of NoFap.
     
  7. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    If you don't masturbate you could probably go for an easy round 2 which would be better than lasting slightly longer.
     
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  8. Goo

    Goo Fapstronaut

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    Sorry I can't agree with this,
    You founded "NoFap" after all why encourage people to M? We all know nobody masturbates "just once" we are addicts and if we masturbate we'll do it again and again.
     
  9. Mugur

    Mugur Fapstronaut

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    No. It requires efforts not taught by society to entirely give up.

    However lying to yourself about masturbating to hardcore porno is a travesty.

    Be well.
     
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  10. Mugur

    Mugur Fapstronaut

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    When medical experts express health attributes publicly we just can no longer say masturbation in any form is unhealthy.

    I do not value it personally FYI.
     
  11. Mugur

    Mugur Fapstronaut

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    Round 2? Is that like a mad white advertiser's view of being a Mantak Chia type multiorgasmic man?
     
  12. TheManDude

    TheManDude Fapstronaut

    He clearly stated that he was not advocating to M but making a difference between a Restart and a Relapse, which can be confused often... I certantly have.

    I think that was the intend of the article and it made a good jod of making the difference.
     
    Alexander likes this.
  13. Goo

    Goo Fapstronaut

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    Fair enough. Each person is free to choose there own version of a reboot. But when the leader of NoFap comes and says "it's not a relapse" that sends a message in the mind of many people that it's "not as bad".
     
  14. TheManDude

    TheManDude Fapstronaut

    That's right too, it's a personal thing but many people also think that M and O are natural... it's just as part of your sex life as sex, I also believe that M during a recovery from PMO it's a dangerous thing because as you said we're addicts or at least most of us are.

    I get your point but I don't think it's a bad thing but a clarification.
     
  15. Alexander

    Alexander Website Admin
    Staff Member

    It isn't as bad. Research does not support that masturbation is inherently "bad." And I'd say that calling masturbation "good" or "bad" is reductive and inaccurately portrays how masturbation plays into an individual's life.

    Primarily, I see it as a personal choice, not as something related to the addiction model. Sure, there is definitely a strong drive to orgasm and for many people that is expressed with a deeply reinforced masturbation habit. Some people want to orgasm regularly and feel like they receive benefits from that, benefits that they care about such as stress reduction, having a lower sex drive, etc. Others prefer to not orgasm for long periods of time because they prefer the benefits that they receive from abstaining, such as increased motivation that results from channeling one of the strongest natural drives that humans have access to.

    A consensus of medical professionals, mental health professionals, and countless peer-reviewed scientific journal articles and studies support that pornography can lead to negative effects, which can't be said about masturbation. You can't fit one session of masturbation, or occasional masturbation, into the addiction model. It simply doesn't work with how addiction is currently understood. Call it a failure or whatever you want to call it. Call it morally wrong. But it isn't a relapse, which is confined to the addiction model.

    Summary: I believe that discussions about the pros and cons of masturbation belong outside of the context and label of addiction. So discussion about long-term retention better belongs in the proper forum section instead of this section which is devoted to compulsive sexual behavior as defined by the preponderance of professionals.
     
  16. Rewiring

    Rewiring Fapstronaut

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    Thank you. I've been in 33 days streak without Both M and P but my girl-friend gave me something so I've failed.

    My biggest goal is I want to stop Pmo forever. Getting out of it proofed me that my life getting better. Got a stable job and salary raised, but I've failed in day 33.

    Kinda sad to start again but I promise not to trapped at the same hole.
     
  17. WARRIORMAN

    WARRIORMAN Fapstronaut

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    33 days for a 20 year old is friggin awesome . Well done bro .
     
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  18. Rewiring

    Rewiring Fapstronaut

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    Thanks you, you are even hit 36 days of NoFap.
    keep it up bro, you can make it!
     
  19. WARRIORMAN

    WARRIORMAN Fapstronaut

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    40 days and 40 nights is my goal and it's getting close
     
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  20. Blake_1980

    Blake_1980 Fapstronaut

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    This is exactly where I am now. My gf and I don’t have a lot of sex (twice a month
    Or so) and without madturbating my stamina is non existent. I’ve not madturbated in over 8 months. I’m wondering if it’s time to work it back into my life responsibly (I’ve read every 7-8 days is enough to help with premature ejaculation). I can quite easily get hard without porn now, though still have the odd issue when having sex. I tried desensitizing cream but, for guys who have a history of ED, lets just say it wasn’t the smartest thing lol. The GF says it’s fine because I take care of her other ways, but I think being able to last longer inside of her would go a long way for my confidence.
     
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