Masturbating once is not a "relapse" it's a "reset" - Risky/excessive masturbation can be a relapse.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Alexander, May 30, 2018.

  1. Conqueror_J47

    Conqueror_J47 New Fapstronaut

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    It's Spanish. This is the translation below....

    I think you have to reedit your reaction, masturbation sometimes reaches premature ejaculation, now if you ambush and avoid friction and will clean your brain of memories everything will be fine and then when in intimacy with another person is very important the caresses until ending in the intimate relationship.
     
  2. Promo

    Promo Fapstronaut

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    Remove this shit(topic)
    It made me relapse
     
  3. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    Nobody "made" you relapse. That is the story that you tell yourself.

    I have read this thread, many other much more contentious threads, articles of all kinds. I have accidentally seen triggering images (e.g. sent to me by friends). I saw nudity and a sex scene on a TV show where I didn't expect it. None of them made me relapse.

    If this thread made people relapse, then everyone who read it would relapse.

    It's important for you to take responsibility for your addiction, because as long as you give other people the power to decide whether or not you relapse, you will keep relapsing, over and over. Because you aren't in control.

    Instead, you need to own your addiction. You need to to own what you do. Don't give others the power to decide if you relapse. Take that power and decide for yourself.

    It is absolutely true that a single act of masturbation, without excess, without porn or p-subs or fantasy, and after completing a hard reboot, is a reset but not a relapse. This is a statement of fact. If a statement of fact "makes" you relapse, my guess is that you haven't completed your hard reboot, and you are subconsciously looking for an excuse.

    This is a lesson that you can learn, so that you can be stronger and fight another day.
     
  4. LeoBR

    LeoBR New Fapstronaut

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    PMO today's morning after 13 days on hard mode... but I'm feeling okay... hope more 13 days, let's go!

    Before I would have done PMO more than once, now only once... but had porns ‍♂️
     
    Mordobarn likes this.
  5. PJT

    PJT Fapstronaut

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    I use my counter strictly for relapse. I masturbated sometime between now and the past 200 days and thinking about the counter just plummeting to zero gets me anxious and full of despair let alone seeing it. I accomplished a lot and did not feel like I took a step backwards after the masturbation. Very well stated on your part, I tried to state as much to someone else but it didn't come out right.
     
  6. Promo

    Promo Fapstronaut

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    Please I have been having lucid dreams and lucid orgasm ...I'm in day 19 today..
    Does it means I relapse..cis I had it like 2 to 3 times now
     
  7. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    This really deserves a thread of its own.

    However, other people have asked the same question.

    If you are deliberately having these dreams, it's best for you to stop doing it. You should treat it as a reset. I can't tell whether or not it's a relapse, because that depends on what's happening inside your brain.

    But, if the dreams are out of your control, and you are not doing it on purpose, that's fine, don't worry about it, and just ignore the wet dreams. They're your body's way of doing what it needs to do.

    Are you doing a hard reboot (no PMO)?
     
  8. Promo

    Promo Fapstronaut

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    Yes I'm
    Yes I'm on day 19..no pmo
    And also thanks for your answer .but I think the dreams are just on its own ..In not controlling it
     
  9. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    That's OK, then. Just ignore them.

    "Lucid dreaming" usually refers to dreams that you control.
     
  10. Curiosity31

    Curiosity31 Fapstronaut

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    Brilliant!
     
  11. materiadeluz

    materiadeluz Fapstronaut

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    I consider that seeing few explicit videos and masturbating little is an excuse to hide weakness, or you leave it completely or you continue damaging your body and your mind. I choose quit completely
     
    ultrafabber likes this.
  12. materiadeluz

    materiadeluz Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations!!!! i wanna be as you
     
  13. materiadeluz

    materiadeluz Fapstronaut

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    I start today April 15 2019, wish me luck, first goal 30 days, award every 30 days

    God is my friend and my support, nothing is impossible with him[​IMG]

    masturbation is like consuming drugs, you only have the strength to stop using it, give your life to God and you will achieve it
     
  14. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    The OP is talking about masturbation without porn or p-subs and occasional masturbation. I would certainly agree with you if you were to use porn or p-subs (including fantasy), masturbate excessively, play masturbation games (e.g. edging), or use anything that is not genuine sex (webcams, prostitutes, lap dances, blow-up dolls, etc.).
     
    george53 likes this.
  15. chuMin

    chuMin Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, i surprisingly found this to be very uplifting and motivating for me. Its more than just redefining the words, but I feel less like I've lost the war after a "reset" which makes me more motivated to continue striving more my goals. It also helped me in constructing limits on what I consider to be acceptable M or a relapse, so that when I see myself straying away from my goals, at least I can manage it more to be less harmful!
     
  16. Cilicio

    Cilicio Fapstronaut

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    [QUOTE = "Alexander, post: 1491626, miembro: 1"] Hablando psicológicamente, masturbarse una vez no se considera una recaída, incluso si se pudiera considerar que tienes una adicción sexual o una adicción a la masturbación en sí misma sin porno.

    Piensa en la adicción a la comida . ¿Comer una manzana es una recaída para un adicto a la comida?

    Por supuesto no.

    Comer manzanas no excesivamente no se considera insalubre para los profesionales médicos. Lo mismo con la masturbación no excesiva. La masturbación no excesiva se considera un comportamiento normal.

    Las palabras pueden ser importantes. Si desea abstenerse de la masturbación durante un período de tiempo completamente para "reiniciar" su sexualidad a algo más saludable, evite la masturbación durante ese período de tiempo. Pero si te deslizas y te masturbas una vez sin porno, dale un reinicio . No lograste alcanzar tus metas. Y está bien reconocer eso. La palabra reinicio se derivó de la acción de reiniciar el contador de días de racha.

    En el contexto de la adicción a la comida, el consumo excesivo de comida rápida podría considerarse una recaída. Igual que aquí.

    Recaídas
    • Masturbarse de una manera arriesgada que lo pone en riesgo de sufrir graves repercusiones, como masturbarse en público.
    • Masturbarse excesivamente hasta el punto de que tiene un impacto negativo en su vida en formas mensurables
    • Omitir otras obligaciones importantes, como el trabajo, debido a la necesidad compulsiva de masturbarse en ese momento
    • Masturbarse al porno una vez podría considerarse una recaída para un adicto al porno
    Restablecimientos:
    • No alcanzar su objetivo de racha de reinicio y masturbarse una vez sin porno
    • Masturbándose no excesivamente
    ¿Estoy diciendo que la masturbación es buena? No. No estoy tomando una postura sobre la masturbación en este hilo. Estoy transmitiendo los estándares que he aprendido de los profesionales de la salud mental que tratan la adicción al sexo.

    Esta distinción es importante porque ayuda a los profesionales de la salud mental a tomar en serio este problema y encontrar más soluciones. Nos ayuda en la investigación y nos mantiene a todos en la misma página. La recaída es un término médico. Restablecer describe no alcanzar tus metas.
    Cierto, todo en exceso es malo
    Los mejores deseos para alcanzar tus metas de salud sexual. [/ QUOTE]
     
  17. SolarVampire

    SolarVampire New Fapstronaut

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    Blast me for fighting "facts" about opinions but you're giving the addict a justification and I consider that enabling.
    Consider the alcoholic.
    One drink is relapse.
    You said one porn viewing is relapse to the porn addict.
    Why is one masturbation not considered a relapse to the masturbation addict?
    This is all very subjective because to some people being an addict in the past, while now functioning in a normal quanity of engaged behavior, as opposed to the addicts extreme quantity of said behavior, can be both a relapse or not but the actor KNOWS inside whether or not it is relapse.
    However, giving the addict some kind of "authoritative" perspective saying they're allowed to touch themselves once in a while sends a message stating that they've been abstaining for no reason. It's ok to have a drink once in a while. Go ahead. It won't hurt. You're strong enough to not fall back into it. It's just one once in a while.
    THE POSITIVE side of this post is that I'm glad to see that it is still considered a goal reset because the facts are the facts. If you're pleasuring yourself after saying that you wouldn't for x amount of days then you've accidentally lied to yourself and it's time to get back on the horse and try again. Don't give up! You still got this. Nobody is perfect and some of us (speaking from experience) are FUCKED UP and we need time to heal. So to even attempt to abstain IS PROGRESS. To try again IS MORE PROGRESS. But don't use this as an excuse to reset your goals and say "oh well, it's not relapse at least", god forbid you turn around and say "well I fucked up my goal, I might as well throw it all away" (which is the very mindset that many of us addicts have, it's kind of the main problem for most of us)
    Stick to the plan. STICK TO THE PLAN.
    You got this.
     
    PurgeTheUrge likes this.
  18. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    It depends.

    If the addiction is porn rather than masturbation, and the addict has successfully completed a full reboot (which might be longer than 90 days), is no longer addicted, and never watches porn any more, then — according to research — it's not a relapse. That's because the brain doesn't go back to how it was.

    But if that same person watches porn, the physical effect on the brain is profound.

    If the addict was addicted to masturbation per se, and not to porn, well, that's different, isn't it?

    The important thing to remember here is that the addiction is physical. If a non-addict masturbates occasionally without porn or prostitutes or whatever, there is no change to the physical state of the brain. That is why it's not a relapse.

    In practical fact, it's not (currently) possible to measure the brain properly without cutting it open, so the cut-off point between relapse and non-relapse is not absolutely known. But it can be reasonably ascertained.

    In short: Relapse is measured by the physical state of the brain, not by the occurrence of a behaviour.

    I hope that this answers your question.
     
    george53 and SolarVampire like this.
  19. george53

    george53 Fapstronaut

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    THIS. To be honest, I don't think that masturbating from time to time focusing on the physical sensation of it or while thinking about real sexual intercourses you had is anywhere near as bad as doing it while looking at porn or thinking about it, even indirectly (for instance imagining girls you know in a scenario you've seen in a porn video). I remember the first time I masturbated. It was really like I "made love" with myself. It's a whole different thing than doing it with an artificial triggering, that's why I agree with the author.
     
    Hickorydoo likes this.
  20. Chilllidog

    Chilllidog Fapstronaut

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    Great post - I literally posted a question asking for help on this exact subject. Thank you.
     

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