Masturbating once is not a "relapse" it's a "reset" - Risky/excessive masturbation can be a relapse.

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by Alexander, May 30, 2018.

  1. kingbob3

    kingbob3 Fapstronaut

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    Day 20.

    Yesterday was the most important day of my life. I was all positive the whole day, I accepted all my past failures, was relieved of the baggage I was carrying of not delivering and not coming up to the mark in my past most importantly I took a decision and sticked to it. It was in my mind all the way from the starting, it was my backup plan but in order to even start you need to accept it, that yes this is what I am going to do and accordingly execute the prepared plan, but I was in a denial mode. I was fickle minded and wasting my precious time, but I decide not to live a life of regret still I have ample room to achieve my goals, goals for which I am born for. There are to broad categories of friction force, static and kinetic, static friction works between two bodies when they are at rest, kinetic friction works when they are moving. And its a known fact the coefficient of static friction is always greater the coefficient of kinetic friction which means maximum energy is required to start a static body to moving than a body in motion already. Maximum fuel/energy is burned in a train engine to give it an impetus to start moving whereas when its in motion then the unit consumption of fuel is comparatively less. Thereby maximum energy of mine was consumed to start moving, now since I made a goal last night all sorts of action plan automatically came in my mind. Now the most important next step is action. Motivation without action will give frustration which will eventually lead me into a failure albeit which I am not afraid to face now its just I need to learn from it so I can be resilient and bounce back with a greater force.
    I have a very high sexual drive and its a common trait of all the successful legends no matter at what point of life they achieved their goal. Since I am on this journey of nofap, I am accumulating all this extremely high cardinal drive of energy and I can achieve my dreams and even more. Just need to channelize it in a progressive way to achieve my goal. I already feel the extra energy I have after 20days of this amazing celibacy, tomorrow is a very important day since it will be 21days of nofap. My brain will be very comfortable after tomorrow with handling these urges and flatlines cuz I have beared the hardest in the first 21days. Next target will be 30days and then exactly 66days when my brain will totally forget the filthy explicit contents I have been watching all my life. It might also change my attitude towards women, I will admit it that due to porn intake I have this filthy habit of objectifying women and have this solid sexist attitude towards them, which in turn has also developed in me a complex in which I have trouble even to have normal conversation with any women except my mother. I expect all this would be gone and my self esteem and self confidence would have risen by then. But I need to be in the present today is just the 20th day and I am living in the future thats the root of my demotivation sometimes, action will only reinforce my faith, so lets live every moment and work towards achieving the goals.
    I would like to ask the people those have achieved a successful nofap of 66days+, 100+ and so on to write to me. To tell me their regime, of how they achieved their goals, did they fapped without porn anytime in their journey, did they had a night fall due to access of sexual drive whats so ever. It will be of great help and I would really appreciate it.
     
  2. Narceb

    Narceb Fapstronaut

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    I am a single student and going full Nofap i.e. no PMO and not even single arousing pic but, i keep getting thoughts about it. How to deal with it.
     
  3. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    You probably want to start a new thread for this. You will get these thoughts all the time, because that's the nature of addiction. They will go away, but it will take a long time because your brain is in such a habit of doing this.

    You need to retrain your brain — replace the old habit with new habits. What can you think about instead of porn? Choose something — anything — healthy, whether it's your studies, doing a crossword or some other puzzle, going to the gym, whatever. Some people find meditation helpful, because you learn to observe your thoughts without judgement and then gently move on to different thoughts.
     
  4. Hello Jake

    Hello Jake Fapstronaut

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    Non-excessively masturbating is Considered normal behavior;
    That's just it with me.
    When I watch porn, I become 'high' wth the adrenaline and then low. I just don't like it. Always surfing and surfing for the next image. I got in to fetish to, harder and harder porn.
    I find I really want to give porn up, it's just a world of fantasy bullshit you become obsessed with as an escape, escape from what I'll never know with myself personally, I'm a pretty happy guy.
    I of course struggle with giving porn up but for me it's the masturbation aswell. To me, giving porn up is one thing but masturbating, quite another. I find the more I give porn up the more I want to visit a hookers, initially at least.
    It really is a shit cycle. Anyway, I'm giving the porn up first then I may try giving up masturbating ( it just seems so built in to me/us, though.
    Anyway, onwards and upwards.
     
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  5. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    @Hello Jake — Set it up that you do a 90-day reset. That means no porn and no masturbating for 90 days. You need to reset your brain properly, and letting go of masturbation helps with this.

    It doesn't mean that you can't masturbate forever, but you will be proud of yourself for managing, as well as discovering all kinds of new feelings and emotions.

    Definitely stop porn forever, though — it's horrible for many different reasons and for the actors, not just for you.

    Good luck.
     
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  6. Hello Jake

    Hello Jake Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the advice and reply.Going to give it a try. It is horrible, your right.
    Look forward to trying.
     
    Mordobarn likes this.
  7. tbird

    tbird Fapstronaut

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    I see masturbating like motorcycle riding, in that it can get you in trouble quickly if you are careless. Otherwise it's a functional and, yes, enjoyable activity. PMO is like speeding on a motorcycle in the rain at night without lights or a helmet.
     
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  8. hotguy12

    hotguy12 New Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for this
     
  9. Bengi

    Bengi Fapstronaut

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    Great comments, but I d like to know what Recovery is. I’m about 2 weeks in to no P. And as I’ve said elsewhere, I feel good about that. I wonder a bit about the timer as for me there is no time limit.....unrealistic as it may be, I would like to strive for none anymore forever. Will that happen? Probably not.....but it’s what I want, as I do believe that P rewires me. My hope is that all the positive reinforcement related to No P will trump that time when I may see or consciously view P.
     
  10. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    Why not?

    It's easy as can be to go without porn, because you don't need it. There is no fundamental instinctive urge to watch porn. It's a learned behaviour, and as such, is easily unlearned (your 90-day reset is a vital step).

    If you use the opportunity, the hours that would have been wasted on porn, to instead learn how to be a better person, more confident, more effective, more efficient, more of a man…

    … and to use the time to do actual useful stuff like, I don't know, work, educate yourself, learn a new sport, develop a hobby with other people, have therapy…

    … then you will start to find that the idea of watching porn starts to look silly and ridiculous. You'll be too busy having a life to bother about that rubbish.

    There's nothing at all unrealistic about a life without porn.

    What about masturbation (without porn)? Some people manage without it at all, choosing a life of celibacy. That's not for me. I will masturbate when I don't have a woman in my life, occasionally, just to relieve the tension, and definitely not every day! With a woman in my life, no way, I'm not masturbating.

    Your choice.
     
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  11. Hold it in

    Hold it in Fapstronaut

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    Oh wow is this topic a good one. Thanks for the information everyone!

    I feel like God is giving me the victory and even though I dont have it, I can feel it!
     
  12. Bengi

    Bengi Fapstronaut

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    I agree. While its only been a relatively short time for me compared to others, I can see how No P is totally realistic for me. Might I possibly relapse, sure.....but I hope not and that's what I strive for. After only 2 weeks I can see that P is rubbish and that I can do so much more with my life and time. I[m feeling good about eliminating P and therefore about myself. Regarding M, I tend to agree with you. I'm not going to give it up, however I am going to manage it much better. I don't know yet what that looks like, but it certainly will be way less than daily as it used to be. Honestly, it had become more of a habit, a daily routine more so than any sexual drive or tension. I'm getting past that big time. But truth be told I don't even want to be self celibate. I guess time will tell what that equates to.
     
  13. Mordobarn

    Mordobarn Fapstronaut

    Aim to stop altogether (after your 90-day reset), so that you stay in control. Even though you might continue to masturbate, by aiming at stopping, you will masturbate far less often, and find yourself less likely to slip back into using masturbation as a way of self-medicating.
    It was more than that. A mere habit is something like brushing your teeth or cleaning the kitchen. Masturbation, when done daily like that, because of how it affects you, is self-medication. It's like taking recreational drugs.
     

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