My name is abdul from nigeria and this is my story I grew up in Lagos to a below average parents,I was the last of four children. Growing up for me was the best moment in my life kos I was this cute,intelligent boy who was full of life and enjoyed it as it came.I had so many crushes kos of my looks kos I was named the cutest boy in school that even juniors and seniors had secret crushes on me(got to know later) but was still a kid and didn't have time for any relationship I had my first encounter with porn at age 9 (on my uncles phone) and by 11,I had my first phone and began downloading nude pics(my aunt caught me tho)..by age 14 i started puberty and had my first wet dreams and developed acne(affecting my self esteem and confidence). I got addicted to PMO at age 15 when I graduated from secondary school(what we call it here) and was home for a whole year so I masturbated 2-3 times a day to different porn videos.I enjoyed it a lot until it started having adveser effects on me but I didn't know(will discuss that later).at 18 I became a shadow of myself but didn't realise until it was too late..I didn't come to realise what I had done to myself till my aunty complain of how skinny and ugly I was one day...it was then I stopped PMO easily for one year(few edges in between) and noticed little changes but later I went back to PMO and this time became worse till I stopped it last month.. The adveser effect it has had on me -it stalled my growth a lot:I have very small feet and hands for a guy my height and age..my friends even girls have mocked me a lot about it kos my siblings even the girls have bigger hands and feet than me..PMO didn't let me reach my potential growth(my bro is 5'11,sis 5'11,dad 5'10,mum 5'9 while am 5'8)...I know if I didn't PMO I would have been taller than I am now... -my face is so ugly,full of acne and scars,sunken cheeks,dull colour,dark circles around eyes and many others,this has made me look far older than my age and my friends have mocked me so much aboout it calling me names like (grand pa,ancestor,ancient of days)..my old friends see me now and ask what happened to me..I feel so disgusted that I hardly look in the mirror kos I feel so sad anytime I do..the super growing child became a zombie faced adult(am 23) -I am so skinny-i didn't develop and muscle in my arms or legs(my dad and bro are big and huge while am the opposite) while growing up..I look at my 15years old pic and compare it to now and I see nodifference in my muscle growth..this forced me into body building and I have seen little gains but still stunted bkos of excess PMO during the same period...I know if I didn't masturbate I would have developed a good mascular frame like my dad and bro and it hurts a lot -many others like I have patchy beards(even tho I started developing beards before my bro who is 5 years older but he has a viking kind of beards now but mine is still very thin and patchy) and so on.. When I first started PMO was when I did a research and saw the effects and started noticing what I had done to myself..I have reduced my testosterone level throughout my puberty thus affect the growth of my body part causing it to fall.out of proportion and also deprived my body of vital nutrient from semen retention..most of this effect now it unreversible kos I have passed puberty stage and this makes me sad..I really wish someone had stopped and cautioned me about the damage I was about to do to myself..tho I have a beautiful girlfriend and I have gotten laid about 3 times but I still get depressed...I have been mocked a lot by girls I had feelings for kos of my appearance and this has killed my self esteem..even my own gf once told me"our child will only take you intelligence and nothing else" kos of my looks and appearance.she even crushes on taller and better looking guys ..I have cried many times kos of what I have done to myself..I feel like God has left me years ago..I feel useless in this life...as I type this,tears are coming out of my eyes...I gave away my potential for just 30 seconds enjoyment..I am going to be depressed for the rest of my life..I sometimes feel like killing myself..I see kids outgrow me in masculinity and feel very sad...Girls hardly notice me and the only male friends I have are bkos we play football together Please dear teens and children PMO is very bad,don't listen to those stupid scientist stating its benefits..I have destroyed my life and there is nothing I can do again.I see my fellow male friends get girls all over them and get laid easily kos of how attractive they are...my life is just full of sorrow and I think I am alive just to set an example...this is my story.