Masturbation is bad for my relationship

W

WindOfChange

Fapstronaut
I have been in a happy long-distance relationship for 4 months. This, of course, means that we don't get to see each other very often. Before the relationship had started, I frequently masturbated, about 5 times a week. However, now that I'm in this relationship, she doesn't want me to do it any longer and I don't want to either. I've been trying to stop, but there are days when the urge to masturbate is too strong and I can't help it. Today, it happened again. I confessed it to her and she doesn't wanna talk to me right now.

It's not the first time that this happened. The whole thing is harming our relationship. I'm so happy with my girlfriend and she means more to me than anyone else. And I don't want to lose her for anything in the world.

The only solution to this issue is to stop masturbating and find a way to resist the urge to do it. This is why I decided to join this community. Maybe, someone can understand me and help me achieve this goal.

Btw, sorry for any English mistakes, I'm not a native speaker ^^
 
Not to meet not to have sex and not to m is quite a challenge. Must it be that way? Can you have cam sex together at least? Then you don’t do it outside your relation which is maybe what makes her uncomfortable n
 
We just met a week ago and had the best sex I could ever imagine. The issue is the time in between. We tried cam sex, but it turned out it was very hard for her to get an orgasm. So it was only me who came. This was the first issue: That I would always come while she wouldn't. After a long debate, I stopped fapping when we had cam sex to avoid that 'unfairness'. But afterwards, I would still be horny and finish the job when I was alone.

She doesn't need to have an orgasm to be happy but I'm just unsatisfied when I have to stop on the way.
 
Understand. But why not finishing in front of her. She can be naked and if she does not come fine too. But you don’t carry it elsewhere?
 
Actually, that's just what I did. But after some time, she felt neglected because during those 3 months back then, in total she had come 3 times and I had come like 20 times.
 
WindOfChange said:
Actually, that's just what I did. But after some time, she felt neglected because during those 3 months back then, in total she had come 3 times and I had come like 20 times.
Click to expand...
Well who cares. I would never start counting it make my bf feel bad that he comes when I don’t?? I would rathe look at myself and check what’s wrong with me and defibately encourage you to come in front of me with me. It’s an honor too right. If you come in front of me because of me. That’s nice
 
How far away is she? You have my support in quitting M. Save it for her. Think about how much yoh want her instead of having M risk your relationship. Idk if I would tell her you messed up anymore. Perhaps some things are best left unsaid. We are here to help!
 
GA93JDeereboy said:
How far away is she? You have my support in quitting M. Save it for her. Think about how much yoh want her instead of having M risk your relationship. Idk if I would tell her you messed up anymore. Perhaps some things are best left unsaid. We are here to help!
Click to expand...
I am a girl. I think she acts and behaves selfish and not right. Read my note
 
Dhalia said:
I am a girl. I think she acts and behaves selfish and not right. Read my note
Click to expand...
My main problem is that when I'm horny, it's hard for me to control myself. So it happened quite a few times that I wanted her to make me come even if she wasn't really in the mood for it. But she still did it to make me happy. But she never received anything back.

That's the main reason she was upset. Because she would always do it for me but I just cared about myself.
 
GA93JDeereboy said:
How far away is she? You have my support in quitting M. Save it for her. Think about how much yoh want her instead of having M risk your relationship. Idk if I would tell her you messed up anymore. Perhaps some things are best left unsaid. We are here to help!
Click to expand...
We live about 700 km apart. We see each other about once a month.

But in 3 days, she's going on vacation for 6 weeks and after that, it takes another 2 weeks before we can see each other again. So next time we will meet is somewhere around September 20.
 
WindOfChange said:
My main problem is that when I'm horny, it's hard for me to control myself. So it happened quite a few times that I wanted her to make me come even if she wasn't really in the mood for it. But she still did it to make me happy. But she never received anything back.

That's the main reason she was upset. Because she would always do it for me but I just cared about myself.
Click to expand...
So that now draws a different picture. You are the selfish one lol...so you need to control yourself for the sake of her and don’t!! Come
 
WindOfChange said:
We live about 700 km apart. We see each other about once a month.

But in 3 days, she's going on vacation for 6 weeks and after that, it takes another 2 weeks before we can see each other again. So next time we will meet is somewhere around September 20.
Click to expand...
So you need to improve your cam sex skills together. It can be done really hot
 
Yes I imagine it. Would be weird that I couldn’t. And if I couldn’t I want him to enjoy. If I don’t see him for many weeks I don’t force him into celibacy
 
I don't have a problem with her not wanting me to do it while we're apart. I want it to be like that myself. It's the control over myself I'm struggling with. I don't want to do it but at a certain point, the urge is too strong and overwhelms me.
 
Right. So then ask that it’s ok that you then release yourself.
 
I could do that, but I feel it's not right. It hurts her, it hurts me, and it harms our relationship. That's why I just want to get control over myself and stop it.
 
Ok. You are heading towards something else than how I see it. That’s fine! That’s your question and subject. However you want approach it
 
It's good that you tell what your opinion is. I didn't expect to get a reply that quickly and I'm so thankful that you're listening and trying to help. Especially since the situation is not very easy for me, I'm really glad to have people supporting me.
 
Dhalia said:
Right. So then ask that it’s ok that you then release yourself.
Click to expand...

If he does that. It could be a big turnoff for her. I don't think it would help in my opinion. Whatever is triggering you to want to PMO you got to get out of it. Workout, go outside, hangout with people, stick it out. Set yourself a goal. Would you rather be enslaved to this thing and lose what you have or free and strong and using it all on your gf who is wanting it more? JMO
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top