Masturbation is easy, hardly can finish during sex.

How long has this been happening? In my experience, PMO gets people attached to their hands or to other masturbatory tools, and it takes time for the emotions to straighten themselves out. Also, just try to be in the moment and don't question your ability during sex. It just may take time.

 

At first, I did a lot of foreplay, but then eventually I was emotionally attached and I had no issues.

 

Hello Geoffwaaah,

I am currently having the same problem. I have only finished once with my first girlfriend. Have also lost al sense in the penis and can almost get no enjoyment in intercourse. I could not even finnish myself in the precense of a woman. Does your girlfriend know about this and have you talked about your porn fantasies? Cause maybe it can help if she understands you? Also you could try not having sex with the goal to ejaculate, but just easely rediscover each others bodies and start touching each other gently. I hope she will support you in this that is already a lot of help I think!

 

Welcome to the site. Like you theorized, you might be experiencing the Death Grip. Nothing that can't be fixed by a long reboot!

 

There are many posts from users with this same exact issue. I would recommend that you spend some time reading the journals in the porn-induced sexual dysfunctions forum.

https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?forums/porn-induced-sexual-dysfunctions.29/

You will find that you can overcome this issue, just as many others have too.

 

I’ve posted many times on this from an SOs point of view so I would like to offer you my advice. First I think you are spot on about what is happening and why but I’m not so sure you are ready to make the difficult changes necessary to fix it or that you realize how severely this effects your relationship now and will effect all others in the future if you don’t get it fixed.

I was engaged to a pmo addict who had death grip and after trying to work with him to fix it for years I finally had to leave him. Our sex life sounds like yours. No matter what I did he could not O from me. So he would satisfy me then have to finish himself off with his eyes closed thinking about porn in order to O. If I spoke or moved he would snap at me. I could and did get up and leave the room many times and he did not notice. His O had nothing to do with me. While prior to this I never had an issue with a partner masturbating once in awhile to finish themselves but after so long of this being the only way for him to O it started to make me physically ill and disgusted. It was not attractive or enjoyable at all for me. For awhile I dealt with it and said nothing which I suspect your partner may be doing but eventually I could not. All the while he continued to “slip up” and tell himself he was cutting down so that was okay and lying to me. There was also no intimate connection during sex he would not kiss me or make eye contact. Eventually he cut back enough ( I thought he stopped) that he was able to O from my hand and mouth but never from sex. Basically he went from using porn as a masturbatory tool to using me.

Most women want to have what they deem is a normal sex life right or wrong. A normal sex life to most means both parties enjoy intercourse and that a man is able to O inside a woman. Sure many women can’t O from intercourse alone but nature has us believe a man ejaculating in a vagina is how things should go. In my case it was not just that my partner could not O from sex it was also that he felt nothing and so did not enjoy it. Most people don’t want to have sex with someone who does not enjoy it. And most people want to be able to pleasure their partner. Overtime DE kills a woman’s self esteem making her feel unattractive to her partner and bad in her. Men with DE have extreme issues with maintaining relationships for this reason.

So what can you do? First you need to cut out masturbation entirely. Porn that too but also masturbation. Let your partner be the only source of orgasm. Only touch yourself to clean or use the restroom. You have to tell your partner what you are dealing with or your relationship has no chance be honest. Then during sex after she’s satisfied if you don’t see an orgasm for yourself stop and try again another day. Do not use your hand on yourself at all during sex. That makes the problem 100 times worse because you are reinforcing old pathways and because in your mind you always have that out. What I mean is if you tell yourself you can always use your hand if you can’t O then you always will cause it’s easier.

Get a porn blocker on every device, get an accountability partner. If social media or the internet causes you to fantasize stay off it. You have to change your mindset. This will not get better if you don’t stop and there is no simple fix it takes hard painful work. But it will kill your relationships all of them if you don’t fix it. Do 90 days at first then evaluate. It may take a lot longer to truly recover though. Don’t get frustrated and fall back into your old ways if you don’t see immediate changes. Every time you slip up you delay your progress. Be patient with yourself. Good luck!

 

stop pmo for 90 days and i assure you you will cum 2-3 x per sexual encounter bcos of how sensitive u will become

 

Hey I've dealt with this before in 2013. It took me about 50+ days to be able to ejaculate/orgasm normally. It felt good to be able to orgasm in less than a minute . You will definitely overcome this.