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masturbation without porn

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by ditoleleu, Feb 4, 2020.

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is mastubation without thinking about porn (picturing a girl u hooked up before) a harm to nofap

  1. yes

    41 vote(s)
    68.3%
  2. no

    19 vote(s)
    31.7%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. phwrancesco

    phwrancesco Fapstronaut

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    Mha, that looks quite pointless to me.

    You're missing all the real benefits, the energy boost, the more determination with women and a lot of other stuff.
     
  2. Fifth Horseman

    Fifth Horseman Fapstronaut

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    Masturbation while vividly recalling a past hookup isn’t that different than playing a sexy video in your head, which is only different by degree from masturbating to a porn tube. But it seems crazy and unnatural to avoid all masturbation altogether, and one can’t exactly masturbate while fantasizing about cake recipes or football plays. There are no absolutes, no easy hard and fast rules to follow. To fix ourselves we are required to grow up, inject some strength and maturity into our behavior, and most of all stop childish and harmful dependence and obsession on masturbation, sex, or anything at all.Moderation is hard but it is the only realistic and healthy path to personal redemption.
     
    Mordobarn likes this.
  3. Through the posts that I've seen, a lot of people describe porn like it's worse than The Black Death, which killed off millions of people. It really isn't, it isn't the devil either, it's just a scapegoat people use to blame their problems on when the real problem is not taking care of their mental health and letting it deteriorate gradually to the point (unless they're genuinely really hypersexual) where they consume porn for an entire day straight because the only positive feeling they can get is the feeling they get through porn and probably hanging out with friends/parents if they have a good relationship with them.

    I'm here because I have a problem with my porn consumption, why else would I be here?

    Because they can? They're individuals, they can choose to do whatever they want.
    What do you think a person does with his time if he watches porn once every 3 months?
    I say it is a form of entertainment because it is exactly that, you can ask a medical professional, a psychiatrist, a psychologist, hell, even a sex therapist and they will tell you that porn is intended to be a form of entertainment. However, with that being said, porn can be abused and addictions can arise and in all honesty the industry itself is very shady and personally the pornstar's nowadays are genuinely cringe as fuck and emotionally damaged but at the end of the day, when you describe what porn actually is, it is a form of entertainment. People hate it, love it or are neutral about it and don't give a fuck, it depends entirely on the individual.

    Taking responsibility for realizing and owning up to the fact that the individual is the problem is never easy. It takes a lot, and i mean A LOT of guts for someone to own up and realize that they're the one that they should blame for their own problems rather than pinning it on external stuff, or just blaming everyone else for their own mishaps to which, yes, sometimes it is external and out of our control, but majority of the time individuals are the ones that create their own problems and are responsible for it.

    I just know that blaming porn is stupid because my problem with porn is a symptom of me not taking care of my mental health and to be fairly honest, heavy porn consumption is a symptom of either hypersexuality/high libido or the main reason, depression. When you realize it's a symptom that became a problem due to not looking after your own mental health (outside of hypersexuality/high libido), you'll realize that blaming other shit is pointless. This website would exist regardless because people share their experiences and seek support and give support to those that suffer the same problem. Just because "taking responsibility" isn't as easy as you think, doesn't mean someone like me or others who share my view don't need to be here. By taking responsibility and owning up to the fact that you as an individual are the one to blame, your time trying to recover will be much easier because you will know what to do and you know what paths to take in order to overcome it.

    Routine, discipline and priorities.
    You can place wanking on whatever priority you want but if you have a routine and if you genuinely have priorities that are valid and important, wanking is going to be the last thing on your mind, hell, it probably won't even pop into your mind because you're already ABSORBED within doing the tasks that you set for yourself, you're prioritizing important things before doing anything casual like sitting down and playing a video game for 2-3 hours.

    When you have a routine and you stick to it and complete everything within that routine, it builds discipline.
    When you do your routine so many times your body and mind becomes used to it, the things within that routine NEED to be done otherwise you genuinely would feel uncomfortable, that's called having a priority.
    All 3 work together and the only thing that continuously grows out of these three is your discipline. When you have priorities you develop a stronger sense of importance. When you have a stronger sense of importance, what's going to matter to you more? Completing something that needs to be done because it actually matters or doing something casual like having a wank?

    I have a problem because I don't have a routine and my discipline is weak, however I have a strong sense of importance so I know what needs to be done, I know what I need to do in order to get myself out of the situation I am in, however for me to do this I need support and to be quite frank, I didn't have proper emotional support growing up and I still don't but I changed that now because I am seeing a psychologist and my psychologist is the only person I need for emotional support and it is working wonderfully and my problem with porn is gradually starting to die down. It's still a problem but I am using it less and less gradually and during those times I try to improve my discipline by forcing myself to adopt a routine. I come on here because I see people that need support and I try to support them in the way that I know how and me saying that porn isn't the problem is me stating it from experience because many, and i mean MANY people are depressed and as a depressed person I am saying that heavy porn consumption/porn addiction is a symptom of depression, that's why taking responsibility and blaming ourselves is the first step to beat the addiction.

    You saying you're more conscious than me yet you can't grasp the idea that moderation actually exists and that individuals out there can watch porn and wank once a month or once every three months.. "Oh it's been a month, lets wank now" Because they can, it's their choice, there are individuals who wank once a year because they choose to keep it that way.

    Why do you think there are countless people out there who have partners, a stable job, hang out with their friends and watch the amount of porn that they watch? Because they have priorities. Plus, some partners are fine with their boyfriends/girlfriends watching porn, some aren't, some watch it together. It's called having priorities and a routine.

    I do know what the harms of porn are, my point is it becomes harmful if the individual abuses it. Also, if it wasn't a form of entertainment, people wouldn't watch it nor would they acknowledge it, because people don't like things that aren't entertaining to them, it's common sense.

    Saying that I have no self-awareness yet that I openly own up to the fact that I have a problem with porn and know the reason behind it pretty much invalidates what you just said. You have a habit of gate-keeping which is genuinely weak in arguments because not only does everyone else have different opinions about the subject an individual can gate-keep on, you don't know shit about me lad.

    If you can't understand the fact that there are people out there who function perfectly fine despite watching porn for however long they watch it for and the amount of times and wank however many times they wish, then i guess you struggle to accept the fact that every individual operates differently.

    All you did was gate-keep and acted like you knew me better than I know myself, your argument was too easy to dissect and pick apart. I highly doubt you'd be more conscious than anyone by using gate-keeping as a method of arguing, you only sound egotistical.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 16, 2020
  4. The evidence is that the porn industry intends porn to be an addiction, not a form of entertainment. It's good for profits. It's also why so many in the porn industry resort to highly unethical (and frequently illegal) activities.

    If the porn manufacturers really intended it to be just a form of entertainment, they'd limit themselves to ethical and legal practices. They would also post warnings, and support measures to check the age of consumers (in practice, they fight such measures). Unfortunately, ethical porn businesses are quickly put out of business by the unethical competition.
     
  5. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    Any ejaculation, no matter the method, is a release of energy. Masturbation is a fleeting moment, and then you’re left with a void. It’s not worth it. Use that energy in your life.
     
    bestme996 likes this.
  6. @Fullyawake , there is a presumption in your argument. A release of energy doesn't automatically leave a void. If that were the case, I'd feel drained every time I did my morning exercise. Masturbating doesn't drain me of energy; in fact, afterwards, I feel energised. Every person is different, so we can't safely make these generalisations.
     
  7. Masturbating has different effects for everyone. There are people who feel tired after masturbating, people who still feel the same after masturbating and there are those that feel more energetic after masturbating.

    Your statement is just a generalization, just because you feel that way doesn't mean it's the same for everyone else. I feel no energy change nor do i feel negative in any way after ejaculating, i just go on with my day and do the things that I need to do.
     
  8. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    It does leave a void as the counter resets back to zero. For someone looking to do NoFap and get a long streak that’s a terrible feeling. Who would have thought defending the principle of NOT FAPPING would be controversial on a site called NOFAP? I’d imagine most people here agree fapping is a release of energy, and that energy is best stored inside your body and used for exercise or other pursuits. Don’t see how that’s a controversial statement.
     
  9. The amount of exercise you do/how physically active you are and the food that you put in your body dictate the amount of energy you will have.

    If you eat like shit every single time and don't exercise, you will have low energy. You won't be tired but if you decide to ejaculate in the middle of the day or in the morning, you're going to feel lethargic.

    However a person who exercises and actually eats healthy will have a lot of energy to expend. Their body is receiving the nutrients it needs, their body is in a healthy shape and their mind (hopefully) is in a healthy state as well. A person is going to be brimming with energy, ejaculating is barely going to affect a person who is fit. I mean, sure, you get that lethargic feeling right after ejaculating but that genuinely goes away as quick as it came.

    I can lift the same amount of weight, I can even lift heavier if I wanted to after I ejaculate, it doesn't make a difference for me. Again, it depends on what you feed your body and to be fairly honest, a lot of people on here expect NoFap to give them this energy without doing jack shit. I mean yeah, you get energy from not wanking 43284324832 times a day, but your energy is only going to stay the same as your body allows. There is no void, you can still have a wank and get on with your life, it's just the concept of moderation is too hard for people to understand because they can't do it so nobody else can.
     
    Mordobarn likes this.
  10. Over 500,000 times per second, ha ha!

    But you are correct. Masturbation for fit people is barely any exertion of energy, unless they are doing a multi-hour shift in front of porn videos (which some people do).
     
  11. xD
    Exactly, i don't get how people don't realize that if you're fit, your body is going to reward you in many, many ways. I feel like there's a huge "well this is what happens to my body when you ejaculate so it happens to everyone else" bias when in reality it's only that individual feeling the way they had described..

    When you're fit, your body will have a good laugh at the "energy" that's been used when you ejaculate. People severely, i mean, SEVERELY underestimate just what your body is capable of when you feed it the correct nutrients and give it the exercise it needs.
     
  12. Women don't have x-ray vision nor do they have senses to know how much sperm you're carrying in your nuts. They respond to guys/girls (depending on orientation) who are confident within themselves and aren't afraid of being rejected and taking risks.

    Your sperm is sperm, it's main purpose is to impregnate, there's no Super Saiyan aura that surrounds around you, it's you being confident and your mind being in tune with itself and the body. The reason why people feel "elevated" doing NoFap is because they're starting to take care of themselves, they're starting to actually socialize and connect with other people. This stuff is normal and will happen if you do not watch porn and wank for 14 hours a day. Can you imagine the look a woman would give you if you ask them if they can sense who has busted a nut or not? In fact they're most likely going to be turned off by you because you're asking them an inappropriate question that they do not want to imagine/answer nor would they give a flying fuck in the first place what another individual does in their alone time.

    Also, what you feed your body and how much you exercise dictates how much energy your body and mind has. It is known that not jacking off for a day or two does benefit your energy but it's not going to significantly turn you into a superhuman, it's just a slight energy boost which can be easily emulated despite jacking off by feeding your body the nutrients it needs and being physically active.

    Doctors, scientists, nutritionists and health/fitness freaks/personal trainers will tell you the same thing over and over and over. What you put in your body will dictate the amount of energy you have, they studied for a reason. I always ask for advice and take my advice from medical professionals and nutritionists because their brains are constantly dicked by information that they need to absorb in order to graduate.
     
  13. No, @Fullyawake did. He said, "Any ejaculation, no matter the method, is a release of energy. … and then you’re left with a void."
    You misread what I typed; I said nothing about porn. I did make a typo, though, because I said that masturbation energises me. I meant that orgasm does. My bad.
     
  14. Fullyawake

    Fullyawake Fapstronaut

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    I do think semen retention helps energy but my void comment relates to a NoFap streak ending, leaving someone dejected and back at zero days. I don’t think it’s worth giving that streak up for a fleeting moment. That’s my main point here.
     
    Mordobarn likes this.
  15. He doesn't read properly, so pretty much he is useless to debate/argue with.
    He doesn't read anything properly and just jumps at specific points in an individuals opinion on a matter that doesn't sit right with his "moral views" and probably would start talking to you with a holier than thou complex and essentially make you look like you support the use of pornography.

    Look at how he says "you cant control it" despite me never even mentioning anything about my own porn consumption up until the point that I answered the reason why he was here by saying that I had a problem with my porn consumption, I never mentioned anything about me not being able to control it or being able to control it, I only said i had a "problem" with the amount i consume, nothing said about control.

    I mean, you never said anything about your porn consumption and said that ejaculation actually gives you more energy yet he says porn consumption energizes you without you even putting the words porn consumption together in the same sentence.

    The whole feeling after a NoFap streak ending is entirely mental. Some people condition themselves to believe that if they continue to relapse then they think they're failures and can't do anything. Some condition themselves to believe their entire world is over. Some condition themselves to believe that everything that they built up within their streak is gone.. when it isn't, it's just you're telling yourself that if this happens then everything is gone, everything is reset when it isn't. It's there, it's just the fact that you conditioned yourself to think the opposite instead of embracing the fact that you've accomplished things during these streaks and then learn from the mistakes. Then you try again until you succeed.

    It's all mental.
     
  16. StonePlacidity

    StonePlacidity Fapstronaut

    I just want to say that if it is all mental, then why don't people stop feeling bad after fapping or watching porn? It damages your brain and your body. For example, every time you ejaculate you lose important vitamins and minerals. Maybe you're gonna say "hey, protein in semen is equivalent to 2 eggs" or something, but does that make them equal?

    Carbon and diamond are the same element, but existing in different forms just like eggs and semen. Then why is diamond expensive? Because it is rare. Same with semen here. Human can only produce a limited amount of semen everyday (a few ml). When a person ejaculates, he loses this much semen and his body need to repair. There are scientific studies showing that a sperm takes 90 takes to grow in the testes, so you're literally hurting yourself. I would treat masturbating as cutting yourself, and I wonder why would someone cut themselves and bleed everyday unless they have mental issues.

    Yeah, "entirely mental", totally agreeable
     
  17. Cop

    Cop New Fapstronaut

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  18. Because their issue is much deeper than just masturbating/watching porn. If you associate feeling guilt/shame with masturbating then that's all you're going to feel when doing it, and associations always begin with the mental aspect of things. If you associate masturbation with happiness and pleasure, then you will feel happy and satisfied. If you associate masturbation with shame and guilt, you are obviously going to feel the opposite of happy and satisfaction.

    People on NoFap feel bad because they feel like they're failures or that they can't amount to anything because they associate relapsing with everything crumbling down and all progress is lost when it isn't.
    The habits and "hobbies" that a person picks up during their journey doesn't suddenly fall to the ground and disappear, you would actually need to be severely depressed and have absolutely zero commitment/motivation for such a thing to happen but because the body learns through repeated action the body will feel weird without the "habits" that were formed in their routine.

    If a person stops associating relapsing with absolute total failure to the point where they start hating themselves and try to associate relapsing with it being a "hiccup" people will have a much easier time.

    And you would be surprised as to how many things are hugely influenced by our mentalities.

    Your testicles produce sperm continuously, it takes 2-3 for sperm to fully mature. If ejaculating was considered "hurting yourself" I think almost all medical professionals and scientists would come out and say that it would be the case. You're not hurting your body or hurting anything by ejaculating, the only thing you're doing is just lowering your sperm count. Not everyone in the world wants to produce children, not everyone is looking to try and make a child each time they have sex, they have sex because they enjoy it, because it feels good to them. If they wanted to make a child then they would try as many times as they want until the girlfriend/wife finds out she's pregnant.

    Imagine saying this to an individual who actually self-harmed and has had several experiences of cutting themselves.
     
  19. This is typical thinking of all, or nearly all, addicts — black-and-white thinking. "Either I'm completely clean or I'm a total failure." I see it a lot in people who struggle with eating issues, e.g. overeating.
    That's a non-sequitur. If that were true, you'd be literally hurting yourself by living, as your body creates new blood, new cells all over the place, all the time. You'd be literally hurting yourself by eating, because your body needs to break down the food and create new proteins from it. You'd be literally hurting yourself by exercising, because your body has to repair and build new muscle. And so on.

    Creating a few millilitres of semen is nothing unless you are malnourished.
     
  20. StonePlacidity

    StonePlacidity Fapstronaut

    Big no no bro! Dopamine doesn't make you happy, it only makes you crave more. That is why people feel like shit after relapse. Btw, you'll only understand something when you've tried it. Semen retention is in deed amazing. I suggest you to try it, but if you don't want to, then I'm not here forcing anybody.

    Please don't hang on to this, have a good day!
     

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