Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by sebastian182, Jul 13, 2018.

  1. sebastian182

    sebastian182 Fapstronaut

    Hi everybody. I need some advice. I started nofap officially on December 2017.
    First I have to admit that i've not fully reached "90 days" yet. That means that I have relapsed here and there since december 2017. HOWEVER, i have improved a lot since December 2017, comparing the times before Dec2017 when I used to fap once/twice a day for like 10 years to Jan2018-June2018 when I have usually fapped only three times or four times a month on average. I mean that's not perfect but for sure it's a huge improvement. isn't it ? :).

    Now, since April 2018 until right now, specially today, I have noticed several benefits and " strange things" as well, especially on the emotional side:


    1) My body fat has been reduced dramatically, like 3'5 inches of belly fat lost in 4 months.
    2) My mom says that my face looks more grown up now, and I believe her cause my jaw has gotten stronger and I'm growing more and more beard.
    3) I'm a little taller and my shoulders have broaden up.
    4) I've started to grow thick hair on the receding lines from the top of my forehead.


    1) Obviously if I'm on a high streak (14+days) I get really confident, especially on speechs infront of the class or any social situation. On the other hand, before nofap I used to be extremely shy in public, for example, I would turn as red as a tomato when I had to speak in public and also my voice used to tremble without control. Now all of that pussyness is almost fucking gone. We can say that I'm getting every day closer to alpha behaviors.

    2) Here comes the strange thing: Before nofap I was kind of numb when it comes to emotions. Let's say that whenever I was sad i simply didn't really care very much about it. For example if some special girl had rejected me in the past I wouldn't have given a fuck and just move on. Or If I had gotten a terrible mark in the University I wouldn't have given a fuck either and I wouldn't even have gotten sad. Etc etc. We can say that every sad moment I had in the past didn't disturb me in any way. However, this first semester of 2018 I have recently passed with very good marks two subjects and failed only one (I was so close to pass this third one), and this subject that I failed got me so freaking sad that I started to cry like a baby inside my room tonight. Two months ago I argued with some special girl I met and probably we will never talk to each other again. I started to listen to Adele - Someone Like You and meanwhile I was remembering her I cried so loudly and unstoppably for like 1 hour or more like I had never did before in my entire life :/, alone in my room at night obviously.

    So my question is: Why have i gotten so nostalgic/emotional during this whole reboot process? If i get sad for some important thing I really get very sad, unlike before nofap. Is this normal? any experience anyone? MIGHT THIS EXTREME SADNESS BE A REBOOT SIGN?

    Maybe some people will say that it's depression, but it can't be depression cause i'm a very active person. I'm always doing stuff: either working out, studying, going out, playing an instrument, reading, meditating, etc.

    THank you so much my brothers.!:
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2018
  2. sparkz

    sparkz Fapstronaut

    I don't think what you're feeling is abnormal. I just think not constantly fapping puts you more in touch with your emotions. They seem so strong because it's the first time you've felt such emotions, or at least for a very long time. Case in point: my ex had not fapped for SIX YEARS before we met (he is a Christian). He was very emotional but very masculine too. The only reason we're not still together is complicated and this isn't the place.

    It sounds like you're really developing as an individual. I commend you for having such an active life. You sound really well-rounded and I don't think you're depressed from what you say.
    FapFapFapNoMore likes this.
  3. Hi Sebastian,

    Porn is not our problem. We have to deal with our emotional problems. That's my statement.
    Porn is an easy fix for emotional stuff. Feel sad? Porn fixed it. Feel angry? Porn fixed it. Fear scared? Porn fixed it.

    But the truth, of course, is that porn isn't fixing anything. Porn is numbing our emotions. The use of porn makes us push down our real feelings.
    So the moment we stop using porn, it's no surprise that our real feelings comes up to the surface.
    Our system has a great memory: it memorizes all our past experiences!!
    It's our task to start process them. So it's a good thing to cry, to shout, to yell, to experience what is.
    Feel the sadness, take the time to notice. Take the time to give words to it.
    This is the real task. When you keep on expressing the inner emotions there will come a time that you just feel peaceful.
    That's the time we only need to express what we feel in this current moment. That´s what people call `living in the present´.
    So you are doing an excellent job actually!
    Filcan and HopeFaith like this.
  4. light&light

    light&light Fapstronaut

    Brother you may have some withdrawal symptoms. Please watch this
  5. FapFapFapNoMore

    FapFapFapNoMore Fapstronaut

    wow...6 years!
  6. sparkz

    sparkz Fapstronaut

    I know! Four months is my record since I accidentally discovered this 'pastime', and that was a long time ago now.
  7. MarinoBigFan1984

    MarinoBigFan1984 Fapstronaut

    You used porn as a coping mechanism. With porn out of your life you now have to deal with real emotions and learn how to deal with them in constructive ways.
    Roady likes this.
  8. HopeFaith

    HopeFaith Fapstronaut

    Read up about emotional self regulation skills. All addictions stop people from feeling their feelings. Now that you stopped you distraction, your emotions are returning back to you. You just need to learn emotional self regulation skills now. This is a way of feeling your emotions without allowing them to overpower you, or get stuck in them permanently. Rather, you should be able to move through the whole range of different emotions without loosing your stability or touch with the present moment.
    Last edited: Jul 19, 2018
    Handzfree and Roady like this.
  9. sebastian182

    sebastian182 Fapstronaut


    Let me clarify something: I always found pornography disgusting to be honest, specially hardcore porn. The only fact of seeing a man and a woman having sex in such a gross and rude way is shocking and offensive to me. I honestly think that it should be banned in every country, as Putin did in Russia, for example.

    On the other hand, I must admit that I was addicted to fap to pictures of nude / semi nude girls, kind of "softcore" let's say. That was my addiction. Personally I don't consider it porn cause it doesn't show explicit sex. However I still wanna get rid of that behavior 100% cause it's still unhealthy and shameful.
  10. sebastian182

    sebastian182 Fapstronaut

    That's nice to know. Btw i'm Catholic and I know that masturbation is a sin. Now I understand why, it's cause it drains a lot of your energy.
    sparkz likes this.

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