Maybe I am not worthy

[2080Future]

Today I had a bad relapse after an 8 day streak. It made me think: "What if I am not worthy of a reboot? What if my destiny is to give up or being unable to reach streaks of more than 2 weeks?"
First of all I'm removing giving up from the picture. I am never giving up, and I know I have the courage to never stop trying.
Then the problem is not being able to reach high streaks. I have been trying to do NoFap for more than 2 years on and off, and I took it more seriously this past year, but I haven't been able to get past 17 days. I can constantly reach 1 week streaks, but going forward I usually fail not much later because I don't have enough willpower. I always end up scrolling through NSFW Twitter which eventually leads to a P site and a relapse.
I fear I am too weak right now to be able to reboot. How can I train myself? How can I become worthy of beating this devil?
I have acquired some healthy habits during these months, but I think I need something special so I can finally become my best version. My name is _ and i don't masturbate. My name is _ and i don't watch porn.

 

[Deleted Account]

If you continue to believe that you aren't worthy, you will not worthy.

Your thoughts affect your attitude, your life.

I always end up scrolling through NSFW Twitter which eventually leads to a P site and a relapse.

What brought you to that situation in the first place?
•Negative Emotions? (Boredom, Anger, Sadness, Loneliness)
•Triggering Environment? (When you're isolated in a dark room without any barriers: porn blocker)

Be aware of your underlying issues, be aware of your thoughts, be aware of your surroundings...

And importantly, be aware of what apps you are using, is it harmful for your recovery? Will it trigger your addictive trait? I've been in that place many times before, when I saw this hot siren on Internet, and I didn't realize what I was doing until I relapsed...

So in the first place, you should avoid going to dangerous place: social media, dating apps... It's like a circumstance where an alcoholic goes into a bar and before realizing what he's going to do, he ends up drinking a lot and being drunk.

In my opinion, our brain is desensitized, our self-control ability has been decreasing for years due to porn consumption.

If you really want to go through this journey without any physical barrier, you need to have a VERY good support system.

How can I become worthy of beating this devil?

You are already worthy, my friend.
Every human being is worthy.
Trust that you're worthy
Then you're worthy.

Love yourself.

 

[2080Future]

I think you're putting too much attention on the number of days and streaks.
And the destiny thing is bs, just your scared mind.
Can I ask why you want to stop PMO?

I want to stop PMO because it feels like the right thing to do so i can be happy and motivated like i used to be! I felt like I was just drifting through life instead of actually living.

 

[2080Future]

If you continue to believe that you aren't worthy, you will not worthy.

Your thoughts affect your attitude, your life.



What brought you to that situation in the first place?
•Negative Emotions? (Boredom, Anger, Sadness, Loneliness)
•Triggering Environment? (When you're isolated in a dark room without any barriers: porn blocker)

Be aware of your underlying issues, be aware of your thoughts, be aware of your surroundings...

And importantly, be aware of what apps you are using, is it harmful for your recovery? Will it trigger your addictive trait? I've been in that place many times before, when I saw this hot siren on Internet, and I didn't realize what I was doing until I relapsed...

So in the first place, you should avoid going to dangerous place: social media, dating apps... It's like a circumstance where an alcoholic goes into a bar and before realizing what he's going to do, he ends up drinking a lot and being drunk.

In my opinion, our brain is desensitized, our self-control ability has been decreasing for years due to porn consumption.

If you really want to go through this journey without any physical barrier, you need to have a VERY good support system.



You are already worthy, my friend.
Every human being is worthy.
Trust that you're worthy
Then you're worthy.

Love yourself.

Thanks for your reply! I try to take precautions when browsing social media and i don't use any dating apps... I feel like what I must do is being even more alert when on those apps, and if necessary, delete them.

 

[Melkhiresa]

I think you're putting too much attention on the number of days and streaks.
And the destiny thing is bs, just your scared mind.
Can I ask why you want to stop PMO?

Destiny is not real, although you might think you have a choice over what you do, it is just an illusion, everything that can happen has already happened, is happening and will happen; over and over again as the universe expand you will do all that and as it shrink you will also do all that again foolishly thinking you'v got a choice. Life has no meaning, we are all going to die, stop pmo.

 

[Deleted Account]

Mate, first and foremost, get the fuck off Twitter, Reddit, Instagram, et al. These are some of the biggest porn sites on the internet.

You are acting like an alcoholic who is trying to recover, but then agrees to go on a pub crawl or a bar hop, knowing full well beforehand that this will end in disaster. If you play with fire, you are going to get burned.

I was on a glorious three week porn-free streak which ended catastrophically last week. What got me this time was peaking at non-nude pictures of a porn star on Instagram. This was enough to start my all-too familiar journey down the rabbit hole, and before I knew it I was downloading HD transgendered person porn.

Once you get that dopamine surging, it is impossible to draw back, we all know how it is.

 

[Reborn16]

Keep your head up dude.

If I were you, I would try to find a 'why'. Why do you want to do this?

I'm finally getting past my previous best streaks, and I have to say it's largely thanks to being conscious of how I want to have the best energy and focus to achieve my missions in life.

PMO is one of those things that easily derails my energy and focus. Therefore, despite many urges, there's a conscious choice I can still make every day. Just comes back to my overall 'why'.

Have patience though, different things work for each of us, keep trying and don't take it seriously - good advice for you in this thread^

Final thoughts:
- if you go off track, try to keep it minimal and vanilla
- don't think so much of "I must not PMO today" - instead think "what can I do to improve my life today?"

 

[Logan116622]

Every single person is worthy of being free of this addiction and having a happy life.

 

[modernstore99]

Today I had a bad relapse after an 8 day streak. It made me think: "What if I am not worthy of a reboot? What if my destiny is to give up or being unable to reach streaks of more than 2 weeks?"
First of all I'm removing giving up from the picture. I am never giving up, and I know I have the courage to never stop trying.
Then the problem is not being able to reach high streaks. I have been trying to do NoFap for more than 2 years on and off, and I took it more seriously this past year, but I haven't been able to get past 17 days. I can constantly reach 1 week streaks, but going forward I usually fail not much later because I don't have enough willpower. I always end up scrolling through NSFW Twitter which eventually leads to a P site and a relapse.
I fear I am too weak right now to be able to reboot. How can I train myself? How can I become worthy of beating this devil?
I have acquired some healthy habits during these months, but I think I need something special so I can finally become my best version. My name is _ and i don't masturbate. My name is _ and i don't watch porn.

What problems (sexual and non-sexual) has porn caused in your life? Asking because having goals to work for and problems to solve is the best way to get motivated when you're down

 

[2080Future]

Mate, first and foremost, get the fuck off Twitter, Reddit, Instagram, et al. These are some of the biggest porn sites on the internet.

You are acting like an alcoholic who is trying to recover, but then agrees to go on a pub crawl or a bar hop, knowing full well beforehand that this will end in disaster. If you play with fire, you are going to get burned.

I was on a glorious three week porn-free streak which ended catastrophically last week. What got me this time was peaking at non-nude pictures of a porn star on Instagram. This was enough to start my all-too familiar journey down the rabbit hole, and before I knew it I was downloading HD transgendered person porn.

Once you get that dopamine surging, it is impossible to draw back, we all know how it is.

I have a blocker that blocks 95% of any sexual content that comes up in social media and the other 5% I just block those accounts as soon as I see them. However, I do think it's a great idea to completely get off these platforms, so that's why I also have pretty restricting daily time limits. Personally, I don't think social media is my problem in this case.

Keep your head up dude.

If I were you, I would try to find a 'why'. Why do you want to do this?

I'm finally getting past my previous best streaks, and I have to say it's largely thanks to being conscious of how I want to have the best energy and focus to achieve my missions in life.

PMO is one of those things that easily derails my energy and focus. Therefore, despite many urges, there's a conscious choice I can still make every day. Just comes back to my overall 'why'.

Have patience though, different things work for each of us, keep trying and don't take it seriously - good advice for you in this thread^

Final thoughts:
- if you go off track, try to keep it minimal and vanilla
- don't think so much of "I must not PMO today" - instead think "what can I do to improve my life today?"

What problems (sexual and non-sexual) has porn caused in your life? Asking because having goals to work for and problems to solve is the best way to get motivated when you're down

As to my "why", this is the thing I must work on since it is very abstract. I haven't had sexual problems, because I am a lonely person and I haven't had a sex life. With my "why", I started because I felt bad one day after PMO, and i eventually found NoFap and read some success stories. I tried it and got to a week on my first streak, and I noticed how I felt better after only a week. I could concentrate better, enjoy movies more, I was more in touch with my feelings, etc... So all this time my "why" has been "because not doing PMO makes me fuller, a better person" but slowly overtime this became an obsession, and I used my journey and my streaks as a way to feed my ego and necessity to be better than others after I repeatedly saw my friends talking about girls and PMO and thinking "I am better than them because I am trying to not be addicted and better people are not addicted". I've realized that that was a bad motivation, so I dropped it and just told myself that I must quit because you must quit and that's it aka no motivation at all, which is the reason that i can't progress.
I will work on my "why", because I know that this is where I fail. Thank you all for your responses.