Me Archive

Observation N Analysis

0) I am addicted to PMO. But I am now a non-PMOer.

1) Previous session has a high chance of causing another session in case the guilt isn't too heavy of the first session.

2) During afternoons alertness must be at the highest at all costs.

3) Bath time should never be beyond 1PM.

4) Phone should ideally be used only for texting, calling and checking mails. Entertainment should be avoided on phones.

5) Manga sites are dangerous.

6) Sitting/Sleeping on the bed must be avoided at all costs after I wake up.

7) MO is to be avoided for a set period at all costs. Brain might trick me by saying that MO is Ok. The truth is that it is not when I am addicted.

8) Searching(What are fetishes? etc..) anything, anywhere close to sexual stuff must be avoided.

9) The cues of an emerging super urge start to show few days ago. They are:

• Searching for 'informative stuff' regarding sex/MO/P.
• Fantasizing.
• Remotely trying to MO

10) YouTube must be set to restricted mode at all costs for a set number of days.

11) Touching down there for other than basic functions increases the chance of MO and probably even P.


Stay Strong.

 

Reached Day 3 No P and Day 2 No MO but ended up relapsing horribly.

I thought everything was going well but unfortunately the situation got flipped. Seems that my addicted brain is trying to engrave the 'MO is safe sign.' into my mind leading me to attempt MO when I have mild urges.
The above was the very thing that happened to me today. It started with an attempt and then ended up in a horrific relapse. I am embarrassed. I know watching P is wrong yet I hid and used it today. This is painful.

NoFap isn't working or probably I am not working in a smart way to make it work.

I read the old posts and some new ones today. They all had asked me the same question. What is driving me towards PMO. I get it something should be there that is causing me to do all this shit. I cant find it.

Is it me not having any work to do? Yes
Do I am a darn serious goal? No
Am I trying to find that darn serious goal? No
Do I set daily goals or am I repeating the

same thing over and over again? No(Used to) and Yes
What do I see my friends doing? Working on their projects at uni
Will I be working on projects? Yes but will take time.(1month)
Will I have enough motivation to do my projects efficiently if I continue this way? No

I need to change my daily routine then my weekly routine.

Things to change:
1) DO NOT TRUST MY HEAD. It has been corrupted and needs a fix that will take time. MO is a big no no.
2) Device usage need some serious monitoring and reduction.
3) Read SPAM REMOVED (spam code #001) - REPORT TO MODERATION whenever possible and make notes.

 

@Diomedes.
Thanks for the advice man, I've started making goals and I am forcing myself to get into the habit of reading self-help books.
I've started exercising and have almost done it every other day for the past month, it has helped a lot.
Yes, I am not overloading myself and I am trying to improve myself day by day hoping that one day it would be worth it.

I'll remember the line: You win before the battle starts.

Thanks again
Stay Strong.

 

Thank man.
I will keep this in mind and move forward.

Stay Strong.

 

A book for p@#n recovery. A must read.

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