So this is a just a theory that I have gathered through some input from my father, his friends (of the same general age - 72 years old) and also just my observations while out in the dating world. While out in clubs, bars, social gatherings etc. As well as input from many of my female friends and women I have dated throughout my life. My urologist also has told me testosterone is down an average of 25% compared to young men he tested when he first began his practice in the early 80's.
The theory is that young men of today do not approach and/or flirt with women with the same frequency or level of energetic drive as young men did during the 60's-90's era. Of course, I am only 34 so I was not perusing women during these three decades so I cannot personally account for how things were then compared to now. However, my father always talks about how when he was young (20's-30's) it seemed all men his age went out solo or with one friend with the goal of scoring a phone number or hooking up. Minimum at least making out at a local make out viewpoint aka "parking." Of course, times were different then but he just said it seemed all men just had a very aggressive drive to score with women and were a lot more confident and driven to succeed. He feels they were just hornier.
From my observations of today, it does seem like men are still approaching women but I have to admit I have noticed many nights when it seems no guys do. I even have seven close female friends who have commented before that "no men are trying tonight" when they dress up sexy and go out with their cute female counterparts.
Even women I have approached have said the same. "Your the only guy who has tried talking to me tonight, I'm glad you came along." Or "are all the men here tonight gay or what?" I even have a friend who got married about five years ago. When I asked her how she met her husband, she replied "I was out with some friends at a music festival...he was the only guy that approached me that night."
With the rise in popularity regarding dance/electronic music here in Seattle, it seems the days of asking a girl to dance on a dance floor are over. At these new clubs, everyone just faces towards the DJ and fist pumps and jumps around as there really is not much room to do anything else. Plus the music is so loud, trying to talk to a girl is practically impossible due to the volume. Maybe this has something to do with it? Or possibly there is something else going on...
It seems like today, most people go out in groups. Groups of three friends or more and stay in those groups during the duration of their night out. Rarely splitting up and joining other groups or people. I know it is most likely more safe to stay in groups but it almost makes it harder to approach as they have their safety net of friends hovering around to protect whatever female is getting approached or hit on. Plus you get the whole jealousy thing from the other females in the group if one is getting hit on.
Again, this is all just a theory and I am sure there are many variables. I realize times have changed but I am curious if the men in the 60's-90's did have more drive then men of today. Maybe it's a combination of things. Maybe women were just more pleasant and respectful back then compared to today where they can be real snotty and rude. Maybe men of today just do not even want to bother.
I do think the rise in available porn, and smartphones have tainted the skills needed for men of today to be successful with women quite a bit. Many young men I have met cannot even seem to carry a conversation with a female or male...but they sure can talk up a storm via texting or flood your inbox with snapchats and instagrams. Haha. Times are a changing I suppose.
I have to admit, I use this theory to my advantage when I go out and mingle currently. When I see a pretty girl, I always just tell myself, hey she probably hasn't been flirted with today and she will be relieved I approached. Maybe this just increases my confidence to open a conversation but I have had extreme luck by doing this. It's almost like women are starved for men to flirt or at least try.
Who knows. Just thought it would be an interesting topic to get others opinions on the matter. I am new to this forum and I sure hope I posted this in the correct category.
J
The theory is that young men of today do not approach and/or flirt with women with the same frequency or level of energetic drive as young men did during the 60's-90's era. Of course, I am only 34 so I was not perusing women during these three decades so I cannot personally account for how things were then compared to now. However, my father always talks about how when he was young (20's-30's) it seemed all men his age went out solo or with one friend with the goal of scoring a phone number or hooking up. Minimum at least making out at a local make out viewpoint aka "parking." Of course, times were different then but he just said it seemed all men just had a very aggressive drive to score with women and were a lot more confident and driven to succeed. He feels they were just hornier.
From my observations of today, it does seem like men are still approaching women but I have to admit I have noticed many nights when it seems no guys do. I even have seven close female friends who have commented before that "no men are trying tonight" when they dress up sexy and go out with their cute female counterparts.
Even women I have approached have said the same. "Your the only guy who has tried talking to me tonight, I'm glad you came along." Or "are all the men here tonight gay or what?" I even have a friend who got married about five years ago. When I asked her how she met her husband, she replied "I was out with some friends at a music festival...he was the only guy that approached me that night."
With the rise in popularity regarding dance/electronic music here in Seattle, it seems the days of asking a girl to dance on a dance floor are over. At these new clubs, everyone just faces towards the DJ and fist pumps and jumps around as there really is not much room to do anything else. Plus the music is so loud, trying to talk to a girl is practically impossible due to the volume. Maybe this has something to do with it? Or possibly there is something else going on...
It seems like today, most people go out in groups. Groups of three friends or more and stay in those groups during the duration of their night out. Rarely splitting up and joining other groups or people. I know it is most likely more safe to stay in groups but it almost makes it harder to approach as they have their safety net of friends hovering around to protect whatever female is getting approached or hit on. Plus you get the whole jealousy thing from the other females in the group if one is getting hit on.
Again, this is all just a theory and I am sure there are many variables. I realize times have changed but I am curious if the men in the 60's-90's did have more drive then men of today. Maybe it's a combination of things. Maybe women were just more pleasant and respectful back then compared to today where they can be real snotty and rude. Maybe men of today just do not even want to bother.
I do think the rise in available porn, and smartphones have tainted the skills needed for men of today to be successful with women quite a bit. Many young men I have met cannot even seem to carry a conversation with a female or male...but they sure can talk up a storm via texting or flood your inbox with snapchats and instagrams. Haha. Times are a changing I suppose.
I have to admit, I use this theory to my advantage when I go out and mingle currently. When I see a pretty girl, I always just tell myself, hey she probably hasn't been flirted with today and she will be relieved I approached. Maybe this just increases my confidence to open a conversation but I have had extreme luck by doing this. It's almost like women are starved for men to flirt or at least try.
Who knows. Just thought it would be an interesting topic to get others opinions on the matter. I am new to this forum and I sure hope I posted this in the correct category.
J
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