Men messaging women.

I find it a little awkward, especially on open forums, to talk about various things to do with how the body and mind are reacting to nofap, plus it feels easier to talk to women. However, as I begin to get a feel for how the sex drive/dopamine work, I'm setting myself the new rule of only posting publicly to women, and then only if the thread topic seems one I can contribute to or one that hasn't got many/any responses.
Basically, I realised yesterday that my sex drive liked the idea of female sex/masturbation/porn addicts...No surprise there really.

 

I think only speaking publicly with women here is an excellent idea! I've advised many people to do that as well. Of course not everybody needs to have that rule, but for some it would definitely be safer and more beneficial. Good job for being honest with yourself

 

I don't quite understand the thinking behind this, could someone explain in more detail?

 

I've noticed lots of men replying to women more than men, plus I've been that much more motivated to comment/message a women (or catfish? I hope not) more. When we are even only reading about sexual issues (things we want to solve), the brain can fire up in an unhelpful way.

 

So wait, are you saying that you probably shouldn't be talking as much to women on here, because you're sexualizing them?

 

I wanted to make a point to aid other people on here. I've done that. Nice name. Good luck mate.

 

I’ll only directly message women if they send a message to me first. I’ve only recently started to post on threads started by women.

The reason is I’ve been open about how I used to watch porn that featured violence towards women and how it affected my thought life. Also open about how I still struggle with negative attitudes towards women in general. And how the urges to act out that violence are a big reason I finally went to a therapist.

I think it’s a safe guess that I’m the last person women want to hear from.

The great inputs from women at this site are a help and encouragement in changing my attitude for the better. I appreciate all of you.

 

Many thanks for that. A bold move from you! Cheers.

 

This is kind of an interesting topic. Honestly the idea of female porn addicts seems "strange" to me. But that's just my inexperience. I'd say that I don't "sexualize" the females on here, it's not a trigger for me, or a temptation. But what it is for me, is more like, "yes, these women understand me" because they also have problems with porn. Because that's what I worry about in real life, is that women won't understand this issue with porn, that they'll reject me or something. So it is comforting knowing that there are females out there who do understand these issues. Important to remember that this is not a dating site too

I would add that I think it is more important though, as a guy, to talk to guys about these issues, rather than women. No offense meant or anything. I think it would not be productive for a guy to only talk to females on this site, to me that is a sign of some kind of insecurity about masculinity or something

 

Yes, men are drawn to the women on here. Women get a lot more attention on here than men. If I'm honest I can sometimes be like that. There are even some who seem to mainly comment on women's posts.

 

Yup I get it. Very honest of you, and I do the same. Tbh it might be better to have the option of dealing with one gender only, but we don't live in a world like that. Also, hearing women's stories and opinions is valuable.

 

You could always block every woman if you really want to. Just press the ignore button their profile.

 

Ah good! I'm sometimes on a knife edge about that issue. I am finding that women have a great deal to add, so I just need to make sure that my motivation is not sexual.

 

Apparently in Germany, women may make the first move if they like you. Wunderbar.

 

'Whiteknighting' is a new term for me. Glad I have learnt it! Another one is 'virtue signalling'. I've been guilty.