Met Escort I wasn't attracted to and still went through

I would say it's pretty normal, you can cum with girls that don't interest you, but there's no satisfaction.

I'd say find yourself a purpose and a responsibility to bear and then fight with all you got to bear it best it can be done. It helps me a lot with staying on course, because it's no longer about not doing shit, it's about doing other shit.

 

Your past is just that THE PAST its not the PRESENT so you can drop that. Finding a girlfriend isn't always what its cracked up to be FINDING A WOMEN WHO LIKES YOU JUST AS YOU ARE is where its really at and that's were relationships get fun . Trying to get someone to like you who isn't interested is a drain and waste of time . So is trying to be someone your not BE YOU VALUE YOUR TIME AND ATTENTION walk away from people who don't like you as you are

 

Do you think you’re a sex addict? There are meetings for that.

 

It's sweet that you open up to the escorts, but if you are looking for someone to help you get over your escort addiction - you are talking to the wrong people! It is their livelihood after all

Get yourself on dating site of your choice and go on a date, then another and then another. Some will go badly, and most won't end in sex, but you are interacting with women the way you are supposed to. They are all after a similar thing to you, and pretty soon you will click with someone. A proper connection with a women who truly desires you is much better than a hooker - even one that returns your texts

 

I think @need4realchg might be able to help you out. He was doing the whole escort thing and it cost him a lot of money.

 

If you make so much money that the escort fee does not harm you too badly then that means you have enough money to find several dates. I think instead of spending the money on therapist you should buy some book on "Pick up artist" such as 3% man by Corey Wayne and also check out this other guy on YouTube "The33Secrets".

My problem that i cant find a date is because I am 50 lbs too skinny and also I am financially broke. But if you have either good looks or plenty of cash then you will be able to date. Most women care more about CASH then about looks. If you willing to spend $200 on each date you should be able to get laid at least once per week. But read the books/Youtube advice so you can actually get the girl to show up for first date.

 

You know the idea of an escort does not sound that bad. I havent utilized one in over 4 years because I had a bad experience the last time (girl was ugly, smelled bad "down there" and rushed me) and the price was over $150

Still I am too cheap to spend so much money and especially with no guarantee of outcome (sometimes a completely different girl than the picture shows up). The last time it was a 250 lb woman, a real Heffer with cottage cheese thighs

 

Sorry I was so late in seeing This thread man. Sorry for the long post, i will do better next time .

The reason you went through with the first one is because of shame. The reason you went through the next two is little more complicated.

I agree with Saturn ... you sound like you might be a SA (sex addict) and it is something you can beat but I think it requires some soul searching.

here’s what I have learned in since joining nofap and attending some SA meetings:

Looking for escorts is NOT ABOUT SEX.

I mean —- the real reason.
Yes — you are having sex at the end of the visit but you actually GO to these places because of emotional issues, boredom, dissatisfaction, anger, trauma, etc. All of which are not sexual — but we use the escort to deal with those non-sexual issues.

In other words ... transmutating your intangible Problem into something that you can solve for a fee with an escort.

The point is —- what problem do you have ? What are you not facing? What is causing you to want to act out ? Are you acting out passively or actively ?

Is it situational ? Like after a Night of drinking ? Is it a “pity-party” for yourself ? Are you celebrating something at work with sex ?

etc. Ask yourself these questions... start a journal.

I am still dealing with sex addiction.
I have mixed feelings on the price too.

For years I swore that myself I would never spend money on sex. One of my therapists had described To me that when you spend money for sex you cross a “line.” And of course —- out of pride, I said I never would. Of course , when I finally did I spent enormous amounts of money and even more time. This happened because I had low self control from years of pmo, then because I had tons of emotional repression and struggled with valleys of low self esteem. I was exposed to strip clubs by a client for the first time at age 30, I had been married for years and was a father of 2. It freaked me out. I wanted to leave. But I wanted to stay. I wanted to know why I was not steadfast in my mind to be pure.

I had never cheated, on any girlfriend ever in my life. Now as married I couldn’t answer my own curiosity. Wth was happening to me?

I was unable to explain my attraction to evil—-that which I had identified as wrong for so long. I have always been very religious and felt horrible about my porn use— and now the sex opportunity made me see I was lying to myself about how bad my character really was. If I could have sex to other women I realized I would have sex with other women. At some point I stopped resisting and became an sex addict. I separated from my wife 5 years ago and began to have affairs with women in many places. Escorts was just another piece of a fragmented puzzle of my life.

It’s been 7 years. My bday is Friday. I will be 38. I started fighting back with finally some positive results this year. I found the gym the nofap almost the same time.

I started de-shaming the actions and chronicling it. I wanted to study my attitude and what lead me to it. I opened up to my parents and opened up my finances to a third party.

I still travel and I got really frustrated in Germany And felt ashamed because I basically binged on escorts. I felt alone. I felt trapped. I felt it was the one place I knew I could finally get sex and I didn’t want to waste the opportunity. Talk about a sex -addict thinking. (Scarcity mindset).

I realized that I do have limits. I had a personal expectation of how much I would spend per day on a business trip. I decided to write about how much I was spending in my journal. I quickly saw the pattern and it was an eye opener.

the “price is too high” limit is not one of religious morality ... so please understand I’m not there yet. I am not one of these guys who thinks you can fix all your sex problems at once either. It took years to develop like barnacles under the ship of your soul. You can’t fix it all in 90 days for free.

Today I track my sexual acting out just like porn addicts track their streaks. Accountability makes a difference because I want to be more self aware.

Now I admit to myself when I’m planning to go looking for an escort a week in advance. That’s me being more honest than saying it just “happened”.

Also you talk about dating ... and look The activities like tinder or dating sites are just as addictive as porn. You can drown in endless matches, make so many dates that you can’t keep up. You will want to bang all that you can and so it creates a new addiction. It took me forever to get off of tinder and I have quit more than once too. If you want a different addiction that certainly can become one.

The true antidote to SA is intimate connection. Real intimacy.

Meaning when you connect with a person and can share anything with them without fear , you are full. The cure for this is legitimate connection. Pretending to be your “best self” on a first date will not lead to that. hiding the fact you have an std until further down the road, will not lead to that. Keeping secrets from your family, your spouse, or your friends will not lead to intimacy.

A honest, no holds barred conversation with someone who shares your burden and doesn’t judge you—- that will lead to intimacy. Male or female.

Find someone who can relate with you. For me nofap literally changed my life. Before this, I did lots of therapy and it didn’t help with sobriety. Connecting with other addicts who knew they needed to change (even when they didn’t always want to) unlocked my resistance on trying again.

The emotional seesaw may go back and forth but I am committed to being transparent about the ups and downs. There is not a silver bullet but the good news is — we aren’t dead. Sex addiction literally rewrites the Brain— yes. It changes how you think. This is the only body part that you don’t need to give up hope on— it constantly can be modified and rebooted. You can do this bro.

send me a dm if you need additional encouragement.

Hang in there man,

 

Escorts don’t care about you, either. All they want is your money.

If you talk to a therapist you might actually get the help you need to change your life. What’s going to change if you keep seeing escorts?

 

This isn’t even remotely true. It’s true for escorts and strippers but not ordinary women who want to be in a long term committed relationship.

Even if it was true why would someone want to date women like this when they can just book an escort bc it’s the same exact thing. Spending $200 on a date so she’ll have sex with you(which probably won’t even happen) when you can spend $200 on an escort and def get laid.

I know plenty of men who are broke who have girlfriends and wives and kids and jobs and lives.

And a sex addict can practice there addiction by picking up women in bars, on the Internet or going to escorts or strip clubs. Replacing one for the other won’t help the situation get any better. They’ll still be an addict and their lives will still be miserable.