Mindfulness isn't enough for men

This became quite a wall of text, there is a short summary at the bottom.

A study has shown mindfulness meditation improving the mood for women, but not for men: https://news.brown.edu/articles/2017/04/meditation

I'm a man and mindfulness meditation has helped me a lot, particularly with insomnia and in handling anxiety. But, I don't think the findings in this study should be dismissed.

If you use mindfulness meditation for trying to get rid of unpleasant feelings, it will most likely backfire. Here's a good video about why trying to get rid of unpleasant feelings is a bad idea:



Mindfulness done right is learning to accept unpleasant feelings. I think a big reason why mindfulness didn't help the men in the study, could be that we men generally are more prone to problem-solving.

Problem-solving can be great. If you want to cross a river, you can build a float or a bridge. But when we apply problem-solving to troubles that are outside of our control, it only leads to frustration and drains our energy.

Trying to get rid of anxiety usually only leads to more anxiety followed by other unpleasant feelings. What's much more effective is learning to do meaningful things while feeling anxious. If for example going to the gym makes you anxious, do it anyway.

Being able to focus on the present moment is very helpful. And mindfulness done right, trains your ability to do that.

But mindfulness certainly isn't enough. Done in isolation, it can even be destructive. Mindfulness is about not letting your thoughts control you. Which is good. But then, what is going to guide you through life?

I've listened to many Alan Watts lectures. They can be very entertaining, and often helpful. But Alan Watts died of alcoholism at the age of 58. Clearly, he isn't a perfect role model. If mindfulness makes you stop following your thoughts, and you instead just do whatever you feel like, it can lead you down a path of addiction and hell.

I have periodically worked with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). And it has been very helpful for me.

Several studies have shown ACT to be very helpful for many mental health problems. Such as anxiety, OCD, depression, psychosis and handling chronic pain.
https://contextualscience.org/state_of_the_act_evidence
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25547522

The founder of ACT, Steven C. Hayes, studied why mindfulness techniques works and developed them to create what I would call mindfulness on steroids. Then he added an absolutely crucial component to form ACT, commitment to values.

ACT is basically about accepting your thoughts and feelings, focusing on the present moment and doing what you find meaningful.

ACT doesn't eliminate painful thoughts and feelings. But it makes you mentally stronger, so that you can handle it and still carry on with your life. And it makes you better at returning your focus to the present moment. To focus on what you do have control over.

Summary

So to summarize. Mindfulness isn't enough. Done wrong or in isolation, it can even be harmful. But it can be a great tool. I strongly recommend combining it with Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

There are self-help resources based on ACT, link to booklist
This interview with it's founder is a great introduction to ACT and to available resources:

 

This article is also interesting though: http://www.businessinsider.com/mindful-men-are-more-attractive-to-women-2015-11?r=US&IR=T&IR=T

It's blocked for Adblock-users but the title shows what it's about. You shouldn't desperately try to be attractive to women, but it shows that even for men, mindfulness can bring many benefits. Numerous studies have shown benefits of mindfulness.

I didn't get much sleep last night because I was thinking about the recent study that showed that there were no mood improvements for the men doing mindfulness.

But more knowledge and truth is always worth it in the end. So the effects of mindfulness and gender differences definitely should be studied more.

So far, I certainly don't think it would be a good idea to abandon mindfulness. But I think I should start working with ACT again. Mindfulness isn't enough for me

 

Yeah, quite strong conclusions have been drawn on a small amount of data. Especially since there have been thousands of studies about mindfulness. If mindfulness really was intrinsically ineffective for men, that would most likely have been discovered earlier.

Since there so far only seems to be this one study showing a slight (non-significant) worsening of mood for men following a mindfulness course, it might have been something completely unrelated that worsened their mood. Maybe a friend died or something.

There isn't much support for claiming mindfulness to be ineffective for men at the moment.

I just did a guided meditation by Tara Brach, and I'm still alive.

 

Here's a good video explaining values in ACT:



I got quite worked up about this study. The Telegraph quickly wrote two articles about it, suggesting that men shouldn't do mindfulness meditation.

Which is absolutely ridiculous, since mindfulness in its pure form is essentially being aware of the present moment. "Never notice anything around you, always distract yourself! If you become aware of your breath, stop breathing! Noticing your breath is dangerous!"

The Telegraph is like many media outlets, absolute garbage. And this researcher enabled them by drawing such heavy conclusions based on so little data.

Having a "mindfulness"-mindset (attention to the present moment) is so powerful, I am a better and more productive person when I access that state. Maybe the men in the study needed their moods worsened, maybe they became aware of destructive patterns in their lives.

Or it could have been that they were doing mindfulness wrong, or that something completely unrelated worsened their mood. Thousands of studies on mindfulness have been made. Claiming after this small and limited single study, that men should avoid mindfulness, is absolutely ridiculous.

I'm all for science and research. But this has given me something to consider. You need replication in several large, independent and peer-reviewed studies before you can make any boisterous claims. There can be so much contradictory noise in publications about research. Researchers and media outlets are often jumping to unfounded conclusions.

 

Definitely, but it's still better to do it wrong initially than to not try at all. We couldn't ride a bike the first times we tried. We probably fell and hurt ourselves a couple of times before we got it right. But that of course doesn't mean we should give up and avoid it. Just keep practicing.

 

Mindfulness training produces less stressed marines

https://psmag.com/mindfulness-training-produces-less-stressed-marines-931246ab003a

Mindfulness therapy works as well as anti-depressant drugs, major new study finds

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/s...ntal-health-research-meditation-a7003546.html