Mixed feelings...

Discussion in 'Problematic Sexual Behavior' started by nadox, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. nadox

    nadox Fapstronaut

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    I had an affair with a coworker. It ended bad and she ended up filling false allegations against me, sexual harassment. I was removed my my department for 6 months until the case was resolved and I was the case was rescinded. We are working together again and I refuse to see her (make eye contact) or talk to her because of a few reasons. 1. I’m still married and I love my wife and family, 2. She fucked me over for 6 months and used me to get promoted to a supervisory position. So she’s over me now.

    But miss her, like all the time. I think she misses me to because I Can see that she keeps peeping me out of the corner of her eyes and she said “good morning “ to me the other day. I didn’t respond or acknowledge her in any way though.

    I’m still in love with her. I’m still in love with my wife too. It’s like at work all I want is to be with her and when I’m at home, I just want to be with my wife and family.
    I know I can’t have both. I know it’s fucked up. But I can’t help it. This bitch got me hooked. I feel like an addict. All this and I’m still working on my porn addiction.

    I’m just venting right now, the few friends that I have are over hearing about her. Lol. They keep telling me she’s crazy and to stay away. Which I’m doing. I’m just getting my thoughts out here.

    Thanks.
     
  2. Feel free to share. People will of course say things that are hard to take but I hope you’ll stay, read through inputs, and participate.

    No judgment from me. I never did such a thing but the desires were there so I’m no better than anyone else.

    As I have more time away from porn the desires for affairs with married women wans and I’m glad now that the women I was interested in showed no interest in return. I like being able to come to work without any drama.
     
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  3. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    I can imagine. Stop moping and get the girl out of your mind.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2019
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  4. She attempted to destroy your career, your marriage, and your life just to be ahead.

    She is not worth your time, she is not worth anything.
     
  5. So why are still with the same company? If it was me I'd leave ASAP. It's bad for you, bad for the company.
     
  6. That is not love. That is just pure lust and selfishness. You let your libido get the best of you and put yourself in position to loose your job, your marriage and the ability to spend time with your kids. If you were in love with your wife, you wouldnt be doing this shit.

    It's bad enough you put everything in jeopardy to hang out with some hoe at work but whats worse is that you're actually thinking about putting yourself in position to let her fuck you over even more.

    The last I don't know how many years has been all about #metoo and you learned absolutely nothing from any of this. Quit moping and get your shit together before you fuck your life up beyond repair.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2019
  7. Castielle

    Castielle Fapstronaut

    Exactly what I was going to say.

    Sorry, I dont believe you. If you really love her, act like it. Having an affair is one thing. Continuing to say that you are still in love with the woman you had an a affair with and seeming to have very little guilt about it and still wanting to be with her, is another. I dont believe that you love your wife if you're okay with treating her this way. Honestly, I have zero sympathy for your situation. In my opinion you deserve every ounce of the crap you're getting for doing that to your wife and family.
     
    Last edited: Oct 21, 2018
  8. You betrayed your wife, which makes you a scum-bag. You ran the risk of losing your job, thereby jeopardizing the roof you are to maintain over your family's head. That is also a rotten thing to do. And why? Because some conniving, selfish office drone wanted to use you for a cheap laugh - and then exploited you to get a promotion.

    What on earth is wrong with you?
    Don't blame her - a hyena is a hyena. But you have a family to care for (if you care about them) and they should be your priority; not fretting over this woman like a gimp teenager.

    Grow up.
     
  9. I believe everything you should listen has been said already here. I think you should just leave that company, and quit fooling yourself, you can't be in love with two people. Life is testing you, leave that hostile ambient before it destroys your life. They tried to destroy you already and you still playing their game? Money is not everything. Your Family is more important than anything. Keep doing nofap and only make love to your wife. Peace friend.
     
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  10. nadox

    nadox Fapstronaut

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    I’m not moping around, I’m venting. Trying to clear my head so I can think straight.
     
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  11. nadox

    nadox Fapstronaut

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    Thank you, you’re right. 100% absolutely right. Tupac has a song “wonder why they call you bitch” just keeps replying in my head.
     
  12. nadox

    nadox Fapstronaut

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    I’m still here because it’s a good paying job and there isn’t anything even close to pay. I’m actively seeking other employment that has similar pay.
     
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  13. nadox

    nadox Fapstronaut

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    Believe me man I’m not moping around, the whole thing has taken place in the last year. I’m getting my shit together and this is part of it. My addiction to porn spiraled out of control and I got lost in this chicks “promises” of sexual exploration only to be left high and dry. Fuck her.
     
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  14. nadox

    nadox Fapstronaut

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    I don’t blame you. But have you never been in love with two people? It’s fucking bizarre. I can’t explain it man. I’m not going to move forward with her, I’m not going to peruse her either, I’m just saying you can’t help who you love, but you can help the choices you make while in love. I choose my wife and kids, my family.

    Thanks for the brutal honesty man I need it.
     
    Mike Bonanno likes this.
  15. That's good. I'm currently out of work and am actively seeking employment so I understand getting a new job isn't easy. It's hard but don't give up.
     
    nadox likes this.
  16. While everyone else gives constructive criticism, it seems to me you're just trying to be mean. If you want to use that word you should say we are all scumbags because all of us here have gotten addicted to PMO. Don't attack someone because they sin differently to you!
     
  17. You didn't betray your wife, you were purposefully led astray by a woman who was fully aware you were married. Okay, so it was wrong to have sex with her, but I personally hate it when the woman is not held accountable. She should have treated your marriage with respect, and not be a temptress.
     
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  18. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    So true. It's hard for us men to control our weiners. We are programmed to try and bang everyone we can.
    It takes two to tango and all that.
     
    nadox likes this.
  19. I'm not saying he's not at fault but I know of very few women who face any punishment for their actions. Look what happened, she got promoted, he nearly lost his job because she made a false accusation.
     
    nadox likes this.
  20. No point rushing to the defense of a person who betrays his wife.
    Nope. That is not comparable with PMO.
    Scumbag is putting it mildly, and it is outrageous that a person can have so little self awareness that they [a] cheat on their wife (and marriage is a religious thing too, like it or not, so there is a religious vow that has been broken here too), and they blame the woman they had an affair with because she turned it to her advantage.
    None of this is cool. Not even remotely.
    I agree with you that PMO is a cretinous thing to do - that is why we quit and wish we had never gone there in the first place. PMO digests the addict, and is in itself the product of a damaging and exploitative industry. But do we feel sorry for ourselves, and commiserate with one another? NO.
    Do we blame PMO? Only those who never kick the habit.
    No, the fault lies in us.
    It is not 'being mean' to call that out. It's honest. If you PMO, you are not as good as those who don't. That is why you want to quit.
    And a man who cheats on his wife is a scumbag (to put it mildly). Shame on him.
     
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