MO'ing on a regular, set schedule?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by seth, Mar 13, 2015.

  1. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I am trying to quit porn and right now, I am not quitting masturbating all together just yet. I have done a 90 day streak hard mode and I don't think quitting MO altogether was the best route for me. I started this new journey strong, only MO'ing when my body was horny, opposed to when my MIND was horny. However, recently I've been MO'ing very frequently (and fantasizing as well, which isn't helping). But I have addressed it and will be improving from here on out. But I had a thought.

    Should I consider MO'ing on a set, regular schedule? For instance, I feel my body naturally wants to orgasm once every 3 days. Do you think it would be helpful to plan to masturbate once every 3 days? As in, I write in my calendar to MO the 10th, 13th, 16th, 19th, etc. I think this might be helpful in motivating me to resist urges on in-between days because I can say to myself: only one or two more days!

    I know many of you will suggest I should quit MO all together, but please keep an open mind. I think MO'ing is healthy if I'm responding to my body's urge to release and not my mind's urge to orgasm. I am open to the idea of abstaining from MO for periods of a time (such as 10 days). Tell me what you think.
     
  2. Thanatos

    Thanatos Fapstronaut

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    I think MOing is an ok thing. It's definently a natural urge at puberty/teen years anyways.... beyond that I don't know if it's natural, because I was PMOing by late teens.
    I would say wait until you get an unprovoked erection that just appears without having to fantasize.
    That would be your ideal time to MO... I've done the MO with a calender thing and sometimes it works and sometimes my body wants less and sometimes my body wants more, so it can be frustating.
    You condition your body to have an orgasm on a schedule then, so you are not in a true natural rythm to know if you really desire release or not.
    The only way to know is to wait to have a full erection without anything happening.
     
  3. NoBrainer

    NoBrainer Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    What made you think that quitting masturbation as well as porn wasn't the best option for you?

    The problem with masturbation is it's so hard to do it in moderation. Initial good intentions can quickly deteriorate until you're back to doing it every day again. I have found this to be true throughout the last year.

    From my experience, if you're masturbating at all, you are still enforcing to yourself that solo sex is acceptable. Therefore, in my opinion you are building up to a relapse. I have found that the easiest and best way to reboot is just to go cold turkey on everything. It's a lot simpler and is much faster.

    I don't think it's a good idea to be masturbating every 3 days either. I doubt that your body really wants to orgasm every three days. That sounds like a rationalisation to masturbate more often. I find that the body will naturally push itself into an orgasm about once every 30-40 days on average (through wet dreams).

    As for masturbation being healthy, there are no studies saying masturbation alone is healthy: the basis of the studies is to determine whether moderate ejaculation frequency is healthy.
     
  4. kitty fukr

    kitty fukr Banned

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    Are you weaning off masterbation or just tryin to jak off?
     
  5. IMO, if you're trying to quit porn, it's best to quit masturbation as well, but masturbating while abstaining from porn is still gonna work as long as you don't introduce porn or fantasies to it.

    And what if you feel like you already quit porn and that it's something in the past? Then masturbation should be okay in moderation and without external, artificial stimulation. And whether or not you've quit porn, if you decide to continue MO'ing you should follow basic guidelines like only doing it when you get a spontaneous erection or when your body is horny and not your mind.

    But all in all it's based on your goals and what works best for you. But one thing: NEVER schedule masturbating! It's the formula to building up that tension and anticipation which will give you a high likelihood of dropping back to porn, or doing it too often and resulting in a habit. I don't think the body would want to orgasm every 3 days, it's probably the Chaser Effect which makes your body want the stimulation again after awhile, avoid rationalizing with your mind!

    Yes, MO'ing can be healthy to an extent for the body to just release and relax from time to time, but if done too excessively then it's only gonna drain you (not so much harm but you're gonna feel it in your energy levels). If you're able to do it in moderation then good for you because it's not easy, that's why I chose to quit MO even though I've gone 90 days hard mode and I feel quite free from porn, I don't want it back in my life. :(

    One tip: Sexual Transmutation. You don't always have to masturbate when you feel sexual tension, you can use that increased surge of energy in your body to do productive stuff too. You can go for a jog, work out or go outside and expand your social circle. Things that don't require you to just settle work great, and that increased energy level would also allow you to be more alive when you're socializing, something many people would strive for in their social life. :D

    Good luck! Peace.
     
  6. I've personally never been able to masturbate without fantasizing. When I get the urge to masturbate I think of what my sex addiction therapist said, "when you get the urge to masturbate, stop and ask yourself 'what am I trying to bond with?" since enjaculating will cause my brain to realease chemicals that will reinforce the neural pathways I've already created with my addiction. Chemicals which will also cause me to bond to these fantasies I have when I mastrubate. IMO, no amount of relaxation is worth bonding to something which isn't real, and yes while I still fall from time to time, this advice from my therapist has helped a lot. No PMO, IMO, is the best way to go.
     
  7. I tried the same thing after my original 90 day hard mode streak, but failed so hard, it took me almost a year to gather up the strenght to try nofap again. It sounded like a good idea, but it was the worst thing I could do. Because MO-ing pushed me back to P and I couldn't do anything to prevent it. It was surprising, considering that I just did 90 days on the first try before... Who knows why.

    So as someone who was already in your shoes, I suggest not to MO again. On top of losing a great deal of benefits of nofap, you may be pushed back to porn.

    In theory an MO schedule could work without P but in practice, I haven't seen anyone be able to do it.

    Cheers!
     
  8. lifeistooshort

    lifeistooshort Fapstronaut

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    I agree with a lot of you above. I stopped cold turkey and went for 90 some odd days before I orgasmed again. Those were the best days of my life,(after withdrawals of course) and I worked better than I ever had before. Then I let masturbation slip back in with that "itll be just once" lie, and from Oct to now ive been working to rid it of my life. Im guessing, had I not stopped cold turkey on all of it, and just stopped P I would be back in that again. And like someone said your body will rid itself of whatever it needs to WITHOUT your helping it.
     
  9. KyleTheAnimatedSeries

    KyleTheAnimatedSeries Fapstronaut

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    This is what I've found as well. There have been times when I wanted to try "controlled fapping" where I fapped once every seven days. Theoretically this should work but I don't think I ever successfully made it past a single seven-day cycle. When I did manage to successfully do it, I fapped without any fantasizing at all; but in my experience, at least, this just wasn't sustainable, and I think it some ways it's actually more difficult than going cold turkey.
     
  10. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    I appreciate all of your feedback. It is hard to respond to all of your comments but this is my revised plan:

    I will do a two phase 180 day challenge. The first 90 days will be absolutely no porn and about continually trying to improve myself. For instance I started fantasizing when MO'ing, and now I've addressed it and will not be doing that anymore. I have found that I am able to MO without fantasizing and focusing just based on feel. Sometimes I think of my girlfriend. I also noticed I started MO'ing everyday just to dim the craving for porn. I will also not be doing that anymore. I will be making a very conscious effort to only MO when my body craves a release. Maybe at first it will be twice a week. Maybe twice a month. Maybe 4 times a week. I will observe my body from an objective perspective to see when I'm craving a release. I will also try resisting this every so often as suggested by Kallosthenos and using the in-the-moment sexual craving to do something productive. This will be my practice for the second phase.
    My second phase will be no PMO, and no MO (and no M). I will not abstain from sexual release with my girlfriend, because that was incredibly unfair to her the first time around.

    Other notes
    - I will not try masturbating on a regular schedule. Kallosthenos, I agree that this is probably an awful idea
    - I do agree that once every three days, even if healthier than once everyday, it is still not what my body is truly craving (as Kallosthenos said, it is probably a chaser effect more than anything)
    - I will try masturbating only when I get an unprovoked erection (or less).
    - I am not trying to be perfect during these first 90 days.
    - I do think I am capable of MO'ing on a regular basis and I do not feel continuing MOing is a danger for me to fall back to porn. On the contrary, by not MOing I will crave porn substantially more (part of the reason I messed up my first 90 day challenge)
     
  11. Buzzltyr

    Buzzltyr Fapstronaut

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    Is it ok if my wife masturbates me?
     
  12. seth

    seth Fapstronaut

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    This is a bit off topic, but I will answer it. It depends what your goals are. I'm assuming you want to quit porn and masturbating, but obviously maintain and strengthen your sexual relationship with your wife. Therefore, you should consider sex and sexual activity with your wife as a plus. However, you should not ask your wife to jack you off every time you want to (even if she is willing). This is using your wife as a personal porn star. Sexual activity with your wife should be passionate and totally into each other and connecting on a deeper level. If in the moment she gives you a handjob, then that's fine. But do not use her to jack you off every time you want to masturbate - you would be using her and not correcting your unhealthy habits.
     
  13. JensDK42

    JensDK42 Guest

    A classmate of mine masturbates once a week. He's a chick magnet at the school party. Not kidding, he sits down, ZOOM girl on his lap, 3 around him, like wtf..
     

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