It's Day 43 today. The weekend was with the kids was pretty good overall. I feel like we had a really great talk with them all after dinner about stress. We all talked about what stresses us and what we can do when we are stressed. B4L and I even talked about how as grownups we have a lot of stress so sometimes we don't always handle all the kids they way that we want to (ie. yelling when we shouldn't) Honestly though I know that both my husband and I are pretty patient with all of the kids and 4 of them are teenagers so that is saying something! Lol. As far as me and B4L, it was an interesting weekend. The kids keep us very busy but we did have some time to fool around as the younger ones were all at friends and the older ones were in sports and other activities. Unfortunately we got interrupted and didn't really finish. I did feel bad... but now I'm thinking that that's okay..I think before all of this I would have felt like I failed at something but I don't now. In my mind I think I sometimes feel that we both have to get to the O, and that's just not always possible or true. I started my period too and I'm sure that was a time when B4L would use porn more so that was in the back of my mind... but it is nice to believe him now if I ask how he is doing without PMO. Not to borrow a catchphrase from my favorite tv show as a teenager but "I want to believe", and I think that is a really big step, because I think I was becoming apathetic about believing him about anything. I just didn't really care. We've been off track but we've never completely lost "US" and I'm very grateful for that. I'm happy that this week will be busy and hopefully fun. And I'm really looking forward to our weekend without kids and doing even more connecting.