Monk Mode Day 3

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Vision20, Jul 27, 2020.

  1. Vision20

    Vision20 New Fapstronaut

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    I was getting MW, spontaneous erections and could get hard by masturbating to fantasy but i relapsed 3 days ago (started having porn flashback right after orgasm) and now i am back to PIED/flatline. Today is my 3rd day of Monk mode.
    This is my first thread/post so let me share my history
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    I got addicted to porn at the age of 11 until recently 26 (still virgin due to PIED, more about it down below). I still get urges and compulsion. Last year I tried NoFap - Hard Mode. I already had hypofrontality and blunted affect due to porn addiction and both are implicated in serious mental illness. After 5 months of NoFap, dopamine spiked and I got psychosis (might have been porn withdrawal PAWS.. was not aware of it at the time, i was also meditating at the time as well and long term meditation was found to increased dopamine by over 60%), which stayed and I was diagnosed with schizophrenia early this year. There is no history of schizophrenia in my immediate family. Both my parents, uncles, aunts, grandparents are free from mental illness so it is not genetically linked.
    I also have severe form of PIED (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction); Forgetting about sex, I am unable to get hard even with porn (need extreme porn) and thus cannot date. Porn has truly ruined my life!
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    I am currently in flat line so have very little urge to PMO.
    My longest streak is like 9 months last year before i had psychosis.
    I relapsed after I got diagnosed with schizophrenia. I was depressed and the anti psychotic medication didn't help. Then had few month long streaks. Hoping to stay completely free of PMO this time to see if my PIED will go away.
    Wish me luck!

    “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” – Chinese Proverb.
     
    Asdor22 likes this.
  2. Asdor22

    Asdor22 Fapstronaut

    You got it this time man! Living with psychosis is two times harder than doing nofap without it. But you are a strong guy and I believe you can do it :)
     
  3. Vision20

    Vision20 New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for your kind words of encouragement!
     
    Asdor22 likes this.
  4. Asdor22

    Asdor22 Fapstronaut

    Glad I could help :) Ever need anything, just dm me :)
     

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