Monk mode failure or success? The difference maker.

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by eagle rising, May 13, 2021.

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  1. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    It is my understanding that monk mode is not just some magical temporary mode of life that miraculously gives birth to a new person just by following a set of rules.

    I cannot point to the origin of this concept of monk mode, but I see (at least I think I see) what it can be and what it is. For many it seems like a desperate move, like sacrificing your queen when you are panicked when the opposition seems to be gaining the upper hand. It has just become a popular thing that people sort of fall into because that is all the rave. Like spirituality, people around you talk about it enough and you all of sudden you become a guru whenever you see the slightest miracle happen before our eyes.

    The secret sauce is not some miracle, it is in the work that you put in when you put yourself in the optimum environment. That is, you have planted yourself in a garden with the optimal soil conditions. Now, you have to water the seed, you have to cut the weeds, you have to manage the insects, and finally you have to harvest the food.

    Monk mode puts you in an optimal condition to grow. You manage your new environment with intent. You don't just idly stand by waiting for the day count to reach 90 days. You have to learn how to really live without the high pleasure low reward sexual activities. You have to work consciously to embody your daily activities. You cannot just leave your mind to do what it wants, you have to learn how to guide it, to master it (which is slightly different control). Erase the destination of 90 days (or whatever amount) in your mind and occupy the recurring present. Erase the magical event of being freed back into the compulsive world that awaits you after you've completed the mode. Again, it is just an environment that leads to optimal growth.

    When you decide to go monk mode you must take advantage. The life within you can flower, but the brain that you occupy is only wired for sexual pleasure, so leaving it up to the brain will not help you flower as the brain knows only the past. This is a chance for the life within to burst out.
     
  2. Takao

    Takao Fapstronaut

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    Do you meditate to clean the garden ?
     
  3. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    Yes, I do. I meditate at least twice a day (granted I do miss a session every now and then). But, there is another way to look at meditation, finding the conscious balance between your inner life and the external world and bringing yourself back to that place over and over again throughout the day. This is also something that I have tried to work towards everyday. I am not there, because my addiction just shifted to other things: food and NoFap for example.

    Here are a couple of videos (each an hour long) that points to that second way of "meditating", if you're interested:



     
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  4. Great post. I have been struggling with finding a way to retain successfully and with intent and I believe I will read this post again and again to remind myself what the overall picture looks like.
     
  5. Gregory S

    Gregory S Fapstronaut

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    What is, "Monk Mode"?
     
  6. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    The common baseline 'rules' (from what I saw): No porn. No masturbation. No sex. No orgasm.

    For me, I added: No social media, no video entertainment, meditating three times a day, doing yoga, and eating healthy.
     
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  7. Takao

    Takao Fapstronaut

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    This is a wise decision. If I start the day with youtube, I'm just lazy for the rest of the day... I just can't get over my boring tasks , especially with pointless internet surfing.

    About meditation , do you only use focusing the breathe method ?
     
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  8. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    Always start your day with yoga (or light exercises or a simple jog) and meditation, much better than coffee. When starting with video entertainment you are hitting your brain with a whole bunch of dopamine right away, now the rest of the day is going to have to match that in some way, so remedial tasks get boiled down to nothing of value.

    My meditations were "transmitted" to me from Sadhguru (a guru, if you are not familiar with him) via his on-line programs. If you believe in spirituality and are open to other "dimensions", this will make sense. Otherwise, you can ignore this part.

    On the other hand, I generally believe that using multiple types of meditations is necessary and more fruitful. Guided meditations are especially good for me, but it depends on who the mediator is. I also recently came across a good example of a meditation; it is becoming aware of your different body parts. Tension and whatnot.
     
  9. Redemptionisrequired

    Redemptionisrequired Fapstronaut

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    Emotional management is huge in this fight, meditation helps a lot in that regard. After being consistent with meditation practice, it's important to bring your practice forward into the rest of your life. Not just the time you take to sit down to meditate, but in all other activities you do in the day. Overall awareness, this is the biggest challenge that I'm working on right now.

    Harnessing your "why" as well and developing it.

    Another thing that's worked for me is coming up with a short and long "mantra" (does not have to be a spiritual mantra , mine isn't at all) to interrupt any fantasy that pops up into my mind. We don't have control of what pops into our mind (especially when you first quit) but once its there, it's your game. You can engage in it or destroy it.

    Hope this helps man!
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2021
  10. eagle rising

    eagle rising Fapstronaut

    !!!
    !!!
     
  11. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    I find also not fantasizing/replaying sexual memories important. It all starts with the thought..
     
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  12. Nekkhamma

    Nekkhamma Fapstronaut

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    Great post. Making time for formal meditation and trying to come back to the present moment many times throughout the day, so helpful. I find those two practices reinforce each other.
     
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  13. ephraimson

    ephraimson Fapstronaut

    This is key in my experience. If I allow myself to live for a fantasy or in a fantasy, then I will find myself in dangerous territory. The Dragon is always there, beckoning me back. When I limit fantasy or eliminate it completely, I find freedom, mental space, peace.

    Then, as I grow, I find the option to allow myself to use 'fantasy' or creativity to dream about a business, or grow a brand/marketing concept, or decorate my house or garden. I can use it as a tool without being a slave to it. I control where it goes, rather than the day dream taking me places I don't want to go.

    E
     
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  14. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    Well exactly. That is the thing with humans-we can imagine things, and this can be used positively or negatively. I'm still often at the stage where I am sort of controlled by this fantasising part of my brain, despite knowing that it is just an idea machine that (ideally) should be directed by my higher faculties.
     
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  15. SirErnest

    SirErnest Fapstronaut
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    I messaged a friend about abdominal breathing as a way of being more calm, and he said 'I'd rather just breath whilst doing something productive', which I liked. Therefore, I now try to 'meditate' my way through tasks as well as a little actual meditation daily. It's interesting and difficult to control the mind and breathing whilst active in a task, but I do find the moment more often when I find flow/focus and I say to myself 'there it is'. As an Anglo Saxon, it reminds me though of forcing my way through yoga sessions: the idea of making oneself do it to the point of this weaker self just getting used to the new, enforced reality.
     
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