Monk Mode, Hard Mode, Easy Mode - Terminology, and the Glossary

Discussion in 'NoFap Technical Support and Feedback' started by Buzz Lightyear, Feb 1, 2016.

  1. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    So the glossary defines hard mode as - Rebooting without any sexual release (even via a partner)

    It follows that sexual release only via a partner [marriage/ relationship] would be 'easy' mode. But where does this leave single folks, who do not P and M, and who are looking for a sexual partner? Out in the cold, that's where; they are not monks [supposedly hard mode], and neither are they doing it easy. Arguably, they are doing it the hardest!

    I propose that the glossary be edited to incorporate the horny singleton demographic.

    So we could have something like this:

    Monk mode [used to be hard mode]- No P and M and O.
    [New] Hard mode [used to be easy mode??]- No P and M, but looking for O with woman/ and also relationship perhaps.:)
    Easy mode, or Marital mode- No P and M, but within relationship/ marriage.

    What say you?

    Why is this distinction missing?? Mods??
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2016
  2. Headspace

    Headspace Fapstronaut

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    I'm confused by what exactly you mean by "looking" in your definition of hard mode. To me it just looks like your definition of easy mode would be the same we had before and (old) hard mode would be split up into (new) hard mode and monk mode, which is a cool term by the way.

    A further issue is, that, if I was in a committed relationship (I'm single as you might guess) I wouldn't even go hard mode, but easy mode. However, this doesn't change anything about my motivation to reboot, as I view masturbation and having sex as two different things. Ever since I started NoFap, I stopped believing in the necessity of 'sexual release'. But may be that's just me, and if I think about it, it might make the distinction of (new) easy mode and (new) hard mode useless, but not monk mode may be.

    Furthermore, while I would like to come across the woman of my dreams, I am not actively looking for her, but being busy with living my life until I meet her, and I am definitely not horny for some quick sex. There needs to be a lot of trust first, I will talk with her about it and tell her everything about my fapping past to make sure she understands my attitude towards sexuality.

    At some point I heard of 'involuntary' hard mode which would correspond to your (new) hard mode and 'voluntary' hard mode, which would be your monk mode I guess, a commitment to celibacy. However, I don't like the word "involuntary" as it suggests you are not happy with your situation.

    Lets look at how many types of fapstronauts there are, arranged by how much intercourse they have or want, theoretically:

    1. Celibate for entire life (monk mode)
    2. Not married, will have sex only after marriage, not married (conservative mode)
    3. Single, will have sex only in a relationship (hard mode)
    4. Looking for quick sex, but having none (horny mode or hard-on mode)
    5. Having sex occasionaly with an F-buddy, different women or prostitutes (lad mode)
    6.1 Having sex regularly, in a committed relationship (committed mode)
    6.2 Having sex regularly, married (marital mode)
    7. Sex-addict (solo mode)

    The titles I made up are not to be taken seriously of course.

    I don't know... you can make a whole science out if this, which is why I think the distinction we have now is already more than enough. Moreover, I don't even think so-called 'easy' mode is easier than 'hard' mode because of the chaser effect. Reboot stays reboot. No P, no P-sub, no M, no edging, that's the most important thing for the M addicts of any kind, and abstaining from sex is the one for the few sex-addicts out there.
     
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  3. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    By 'looking' I meant proactively looking for a woman and/ or relationship. And yes, it would be about drawing a distinction between 'monk mode' and 'hard mode'. At the moment the existing 'hard mode' is really 'monk mode'. And there are a lot of people here doing the hard yards with no P and M, yet still looking to connect in real world relationships. This should be the new meaning for 'hard mode'.
     
  4. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, a committed relationship should be about easy mode. The meaning of that is straight forward and in need of no change. The only distinction between easy/ marital mode and [new] hard mode is that the first is about being in a committed relationship, and the other is about being outside a committed relationship - the crucial difference being that easy mode potentially enjoys O, whereas [new] hard mode may not/ often does not. They are not monks. In regards to the wilful use of P and M, there is no difference.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2016
  5. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    This is interesting. What I've proposed is that your:

    Voluntary hard mode = monk mode
    Involuntary hard mode = hard mode

    With the added caveat, as you suggest, that 'involuntary' doesn't quite fit here. It may in the sense that one is actively searching for a partner, with as yet no success. But then there are others that may choose to remain single while also allowing the option to meet woman on a more..... casual basis [let's not be prudes her]. Then there are others who are meeting woman on a casual basis, yet in the process of finding the One. There is a whole range of experiences that could apply to [new] hard mode. The unifying factors are a lack of regular sex, and the refusal to find it in unreal substitutes of P and M.
     
  6. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    The existing hard mode is in reality monk mode. So it is natural for many to assume the opposite of hard mode, easy mode, is that of not using P and M within a committed relationship - so easy mode is equated with your marriage mode. That's all good and well, and doesn't need to change.

    Getting a headache yet? ha ha
     
  7. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    The way I see it 2, 3, and 4 all come under the [new] hard mode. But I would also have to add in 3.5 Seducer mode; looking for sex, not paying for it, but finding it occasionally.:rolleyes:
     
  8. IGY

    IGY Guest

    You are making this way more complicated than it should be. The fact is that people do not fall into neat pre-sets when it comes to their sexual desires and wishes. In many ways, it would be better to stop this labelling altogether. I have made the point several times before that people are very 'flexible' about how they interpret the hackneyed abbreviation PMO. o_O For me, it means that if I masturbate or use porn, I reset my counter. But some have counters for several things. That means that they can have a massively long streak of no PMO (at the same time), yet their individual counters show they are masturbating and looking at porn at regular intervals - but not at the same time! This seems like a nonsense to me. :rolleyes:

    When thousands of people are involved, you just cannot standardise things. People will have their own unique take on it.
     
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  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yeah, maybe. And as you say, the meaning of the PMO setting is too loose, which is why I set my counters to reflect the abstinence of both P am M.

    Thing is, given that hard mode is equated with monk mode at the moment, that implies the likes of single red-blooded men like me are on 'easy' or 'soft' mode. And that's just wrong.... in more ways than one. Go hard mode for the ladies I say!;)

    Perhaps we should all just individually tailor it in our own signatures. Still, if this is a community, then thought should go into standardizations. That way, we can start speaking the same language.
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2016
  10. IGY

    IGY Guest

    I just don't understand what you are talking about quite honestly. Monk mode is some recent invention which seems (with it's religious connotation) to be a 'holier than thou' version of hard mode. Basically, there is hard mode which is clearly defined in the glossary. There is no 'easy' or 'soft' mode. You are either taking up the NoFap challenge with or without hard mode. A person's relationship status or future intentions do not affect this description about was is included or excluded in their behaviours. That's it. There is no need to extrapolate from there. As I said before, why complicate it?
     
  11. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I can't see how you can not see. ha ha

    So you frame it in antithetical terms; You are either taking up the NoFap challenge with or without hard mode. Great, and this is the problem!

    Hard Mode = No P, M or O. [I'm not doing this]

    Non- Hard mode = Maybe a bit of P, even perhaps a bit of M but not PMO... P or M to the point of O. [I'm not doing this]

    There is no middle ground!!!.....

    So for the likes of me, I want to do absolutely no P and M [like hard mode], but I want to sleep with woman [to put it crudely], which is not quite Hard mode as am allowing myself a real life O

    What is so difficult to see??
     
    Last edited: Feb 1, 2016

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