Monk or not

ok brothers of this spiritual war.

in the last december i decided to take this way. i completed 25 days without fap and feel good. But in the day 26 I begin to feel need to be with a girl. I dont care , i'm just only want be sexual with girls. For a moment i think... ok this its ok because i'm a true men and the true men put the dick in girls ....its ok. and i do this, for a moment i begin to a feel good. (NoFap, i'm just only have sex with a girl.., ) but the problem was that in the same day at the nigth my chemical , my blood,my inner feelings break up....and i dont know , i become to feel rare, how excited? also nervous? my brain feel that want more sex. and in this moment i don't knew how do for fix that. I finished do fap.i'm a fallen soldier , and after i was thinking? maybe its not a good idea . if all thos process means that you want finisehd fap. maybe also i need finished with my relashionships with girls. NoFap it's equal to no sex. what do you think? help me please. I will be a monk ?