Month break between us starts now.

Hey man.
Respect for your honesty here. Although luckily I never lost my sexual attraction to my wife, I found that I had gotten a bit lazy and would rather watch porn than seduce my wife. But what I can already see after a little more than two weeks is that the attraction to my wife has increased a lot and the sex has really gotten a lot better. There's a real tension between us again. Also on the part of my wife, who knows that I want to stop PMO and possibly even MO for the long term. Trust the process, my views have changed significantly on many things. And that after just 17 days. I also reflect a lot and the journaling process here in the forum is a big help. Wishing you all the best. Be willing to suffer a little (go through the Urges process) to get a lot more out of life. I also thought until recently that porn was my "natural" way of distributing my genes. In the meantime, however, a mind-shift is happening and I am very excited to see where this journey will take us. Good luck for you and for your Girlfriend

 

I'm sorry you've gone threw all of this, sometimes braking for a while is a great idea. I am mostly just into vanilla haven't touched it in a few day's miraculously. I'm not sure what you're daily life schedule is but this is you're time to turn your self into a better man. I highly suggest exercising even if it's for 25 minute's a day. You're mind releases more dopamine I would say then Jerking although I've heard a ejaculation is like taking a small drop of X. But if you run, weight lift, you're mind will release this threw out the day on. Especially when you put amazing food into you're body such as fruit's, blueberries, they are the fruit of life, especially vegetables.


Get you're self into a good routine and most of all keep learning or find a hobby. If you need counseling or something to help a psych is never a bad idea, most of all you're wife should support this 100%.


Anyway good luck. If you want to chat more or anything don't hesitate to PM me my friend.

 

You can acknowledge that date but I wouldn’t go on to celebrate it. It is now toxic to her. It will serve as a reminder to her your betrayal. Best to just acknowledge it and at some point down the road a renewed commitment and start date. BTW no special dates (anniversaries, birthdays, Christmas, etc.)

Sexually approach her? If she is anything like me she wouldn’t even want you to touch her let alone get close enough to. Try approaching her with words actions and behaviors that are in alignment with one another.

To be clear “we” didn’t lose that connection. If you recall you did.

That’s a good thing.

That is not surprising.

Our counselor taught us that the grass isn’t greener on the other side. The grass is always greener wherever you fertilize and water it. You haven’t been taking care of your own lawn. Want to know what you’ve lost with your current girlfriend? You’re about to find out. A month of separation will show you. Unfortunate for you it will show her too. If you aren’t fully committed do both of yourselves a favor and sever the relationship. She deserves the dignity of that much. Looking for a better deal are you?

It’s your addiction. Get that under control and the other symptoms will begin to fade away and disappear.

Starting therapy is a good thing. DO NOT go to couples therapy just yet. Neither of you are in a good place to do this and it can easily cause more harm than good. Ask anyone who has been down this path. It’s a bad idea. She needs her own counsel independent of yours. But like most of us who have been betrayed we aren’t the least bit interested in any input you have to say on it. Why? Why in the hell would we listen to the very person who we should have been able to trust the most who betrayed us?

If you want more answers from a woman who has been through all of this, who has recovered her own betrayal trauma, whose husband has recovered from his addiction then PM me. I’m not interested in getting into any long drawn out discussion and debate with all of the many addicted partners here.