More Than Just Beating Myself Up: Someone I Can Talk to?

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by ajust95, Mar 7, 2017.

  1. ajust95

    ajust95 Fapstronaut

    I was just broken up with a few weeks ago by a girl who I was really attached to. The relationship itself wasn't that long, a little over five months. However we had been good friends for the better part of a year before that. I have been struggling a lot with this, and it feels like I have a hole in my life right now.
    I have also struggled with porn addiction for most of my teenage and now my adult life (I'm 21). I never told my now ex-girlfriend about the issue because I did not feel she would be open to discussing it and that it would upset her. I've also always had problems with anxiety which I'm on medication for at this point. My ex did know about my anxiety issues and to be honest I relied on her a lot to talk to about my problems when they came up.
    I am becoming more and more convinced that my addiction to porn is causing at least some of my insecurities and anxiety symptoms. This behavior is secretly self destructing me from the inside out whether the people around me see it or not. It doesn't help that the porn I watch or look at is almost always some sort of humiliation topic by a women telling me that I'm not good enough.
    I dream about a day where I am no longer feeling the urge to look at porn, when I can say I USED to do that, rather then live with the guilt from last night or when I wake up in the morning for the entire day.
    The older I get and the more that I reflect on my addiction, the more I realize that even as a young kid I thought sexually about certain things. I feel like a lot of the reason why I didn't think twice before first looking at porn when I was young was because no one told me the possible consequences of my choice. I was always just told that it was a bad thing that I shouldn't ever look at and that if I was ever married that my spouse would be very hurt by it if they found out. These things are all well and good, but I think my upbringing was lacking one important point. What would it do to me?
    On that note, I'm really interested in finding someone who would be willing to be an accountability partner. Just let me know.
  2. Phibz

    Phibz Fapstronaut

    You seem really insightful about your predicament. I'm 47. But you are way ahead of me when I was your age. I had been pmo free for over a year. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. I was on top of the world when I relapsed several months ago. I'm on day 2 now. I havent been on here in quite a while. I dont even know how to reset. I do know from experience that life does get better after pmo. I've been trying to get back on the wagon. But I think I need some accountability. It played a large part in my recovery before. Feel free to hit me up if you're interested. Even temporary accountability is better than none.
  3. DustinK

    DustinK Fapstronaut

    I'm also up for this...also hit me up if your interested

Share This Page