Most nofap people with ED actually have performance anxiety

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Bandido, Jul 6, 2021.

  1. Bandido

    Bandido Fapstronaut

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    One reason masturbation works so well is it’s a sensitive and near perfect feedback loop. You control your imagination, the tactile pressure involved, the timing, and the speed of your simulated thrusts. And it’s a wonderfully selfish but guilt-free experience. You aren’t distracted by concerns for her satisfaction and the associations that follow.

    I don't buy that you can get hard with porn, but not with women, because you have desensitized yourself. Simply put, you don't have experience in sex, all your life, you spent masturbating, whether to porn or to your thoughts is irrelevant, why did you masturbate so much?

    Cause you never got any, maybe you were a loner, undesired, didn't have girlfriends, etc, therefore, your only sexual experience was always with yourself, the fact that your penis works, means the penis is not the issue, it is a mental issue

    Most of you who have been masturbating to porn have emotional issues that you refuse to accept and NOfap won't do shit to solve all of that, you need therapy. It is because of the emotional issues that led you to porn and masturbation as a way to relieve these feelings and emotions.

    I know this is my case, because I can get hard no issues with porn or no porn, just by thinking about women I find attractive or whatever, this means for many of us a performance anxiety, you have a lot of shame in regards to sex and intimacy, you suffer from anxiety and depression, you have a lot of shame for yourself, and put too much pressure on yourself

    most people who are addicted to porn have anxiety or social anxiety, when you do, you care too much what others think and what they think of your performance on anything in life, this would include sex with a woman you are attracted to and don't want to lose

    Therefore, you place too much pressure on yourself to perform, you want to do well, is just like anything, public speaking, is you care too much, what will happen? you'll get nervous and anxious, you care too much about what those people think of you and if they will think you are good or inadequate

    This is where the boner pills can come handy, they will help trap blood in the penis and it will also serve as a placebo effects, why is that? if you took the boner pill and it worked for you, then you will confident the next times, it will work again which in most cases it does, at least the real prescribed thing, since you know it will work with just a little stimulation, you will feel more relaxed and less anxious about the outcome

    once you have done this a few times with a partner, you could try to stop using them, but you always have the option of using them again if need be
     
    SaiyanWarrior likes this.
  2. Prince Macintosh

    Prince Macintosh Fapstronaut

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    That's an awful lot of judgmental blanket unsolicited advice.

    If you've been to therapy (thus following your own advice) your therapist surely would have mentioned the concept of "I sentences."
     
    truthcanbefound likes this.
  3. Meshuga

    Meshuga Fapstronaut

    So... because you don't have ED... I don't?

    Look Jefe, you came up with a plausible hypothesis, but you don't get to discount everyone else's experience based on your own experience. When a dude can't get it up for a real woman, he has a problem. When he can't get it up for a real woman and he knows he's been whackin' it a lot to P, chances are good that problem is PIED. Not anxiety. Extreme sexual exhaustion courtesy Rosie Palm and her five daughters. I agree, anxiety is a problem with a lot of us, we're a pathetic bunch of maladapted beta males and basement dwellers. It's well possible that anxiety is part of the problem with that ED. But loading it ALL on anxiety? Nah.

    Put it this way. Repeat the experiment, but DON'T punch the one eyed monkey, say, a week before the event. Don't edge, don't fantasize, don't "read it for the articles," just quit all forms of erotic fantasy for a week. Same partner, same circumstances. He'll otherwise be the same person, same sad sack of anxiety, but I bet ten bucks the problem will skew closer to premature ejaculation, not ED.

    Search your feelings, you know it to be true.
     
    josedelamuerte likes this.
  4. SaiyanWarrior

    SaiyanWarrior Fapstronaut

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    I agree 100%

    I though I had pied, ed, because of years of porn and it was true to some extent but b I've been relapsing after every 3 days but one or two 7 days streak made my dick get up with women. Still not 100% like it should but improving
     
  5. josedelamuerte

    josedelamuerte Fapstronaut

    Nope. All sorts of people watch porn. Many of them are extremely extroverted and outgoing.

    I think you have in your mind one very specific case of the loner that never got any - but I had been having sex successfully for years before I stopped being able to get it up. And I didn't even become anxious about it at first. I just made excuses - "Oh I just wasn't really attracted to her", "That one was annoying", "It's just been a while". After the 4th woman this happened with I started to understand something's wrong, and that's the first time I even considered abstaining. Sure enough, two months of abstinence later I was performing flawlessly from the get go. No training wheels, no 80%. Just working.

    It's a nice title - very click-baity - maybe even true in some cases - but way off for me.
     
    Chokejoke35 and SaiyanWarrior like this.

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