Most People With Addiction Simply Grow Out of It: Why Is This Widely Denied?

Im no researcher, but I think there may be a difference between a physical addiction such as drugs and alcohol, and a behavioral addiction. According to that article, most people grow out of addiction in their early twenties. But I myself am 30 now, and my addiction grew, not diminished during my 20's. I have been unable to kick the habit despite risk to myself, relationships, and financial hardships. This is why I am now in a 12 step program.

Perhaps some people can quit. I think many people though end up substituting one addiction for another. I have seen this with people around me such as my friend who used to have a drug habit but now binge eats, or my other friend who quit smoking but almost has an anxiety attack if he cant go for a 20+ mile bike ride daily. Addiction is all about living life in extremes; we experience extreme highs and extreme lows. For many people with addiction, its hard to imagine a "normal" life. Addicts also tend to lack the skills to healthily cope with day to day stress and emotions. I myself have been an emotional wreck most of my adult life, keeping everything locked up tight until I just explode.

That is just my perspective on addiction.

 

I'm 30, more addicted then ever.

I see Men(and some Women) in here in the 40's and 50's. True, there are less of them, but I'd argue that older group has been influenced less by high speed internet, major culprit of P addiction.

 

Stress (rather not being able to manage stress) is a big factor that contributes to addictive behavior. I don't know the answer to that. For me it's replacing one addiction with another. This is how I cope with stress. I suffer from OCD and Bipolar - and have always been like this - I was born like this, so was my dad. So, it could be genetic. I choose less lethal addcitions now - like addiction to music, or running, or games - etc. PMO has only destroyed my life.

 

contra,

The article does make some interesting points. I agree that viewing addiction as a developmental disorder in some cases could have merit. However, I object to describing recovery as "growing out of it". Just because many people quit their addictions without the help of a formal treatment program, doesn't mean it happened without effort. It would be more meaningful to ask the people who quit on their own how they did it and why. Treatment programs could learn from that and become more effective.

 

As a 45-year-old recovering alcoholic, I don't think it applies to me. The science of addiction has been studied intensely and there is compelling evidence that suggests that there may be genetic factors at play.

According to the article, my alcoholism should have "resolved" itself within 15 years. It didn't. I drank heavily in high school, into college, sobered up for about 5 years, and then went back out and drank heavily for another 17+ years. I'm now coming up on one year of sobriety, and about 24 hours of no fapping.

What I think is more plausible is that people learn to control their addictions as they get older and wiser. My drinking was absolutely out of control when I was in my late teens. When I resumed drinking in my late twenties, I learned how to become a "high functioning" alcoholic. I still met every criteria as an alcoholic, but I always had a job, place to live, etc.

It's an interesting premise, but I think I don't think that it's right to suggest that most people just "grow out of it." There are WAY too many older addicts and alcoholics and junkies for that to really be true.

What I think is more likely is that there is a genetic predisposition to addiction. Do a Google search for "delta FOSB" or "ΔFosB" and you'll find lots of deep scientific discussion over how that one protein can be linked to most addictive behavior.

 

I'm in my late 30s and my addiction to P and M has not waned at all. I started masturbating pretty obsessively when I was 12. I didn't have access to porn so used television mostly, MTV, etc. And then when high speed internet came along, that took over. So I definitely don't think growing out of it applies to me. Here I am dealing with basically a 25 year old addiction. And I currently have a girlfriend of 2 years and have had many girlfriends before.

I think the addiction may have started because I was lonely, shy, not dating for a long time, and it was a misguided way to cope with those feelings. I also have addiction in my family on my mother's side, so that may play a role. Although I'm lucky to have avoided drug and alcohol addictions in my life, I can see how I may have an addictive personality, and there may be genetic factors involved.

Bottom line is I know I have to take responsibility and can't expect that I'll just wake up one day and it'll be gone. It's stayed with me whether I've been single and not getting laid, single and been getting laid, or in a long term relationship. No matter what this addiction has been there. You know you have a problem when you have great sex one night and then the next morning you're masturbating to porn anyway.

Glad to finally be dealing with this, and glad this community exists to help.

 

As a 60 year old Sex Addict I also agree that most addicts do not "grow out" of addictions but rather "grow in" to addictions.

While it is trues that most individuals do "out grow" excessive masturbation and porn at a relatively early age those of us who have truly become addicted have not.

The exact reasons for our addictions are varied as are our degree of addiction. In my case I think my addiction to sex, masturbation and pornography began at an early age and gradually progressed until I was forced to accept and deal with my addiction. Is addiction genetic is a good question. In the case of alcohol or drugs I feel it may not be genetic but rather "learned by example". If a child is brought up in a home surrounded by substance abuse they begin to feel this is the norm. However in my case I came from a very closed minded family, sex was never discussed, I was never subjected to any form of sexual abuse. But I did tend to be a "loner" as a child and apart from the usual childish sexual experimentation in my preteen years I had little knowledge of sex. I found trouble relating to girls in my teen years and found it all to easy to slip into a habit of excessive masturbation. Over the years my addiction grew and the introduction of the internet, webcams and chat roots just fueled it. I did marry and for a number of years did manage to keep my sexual urges under control but over the last few years stress of work and home life along with three children growing up and a wife who works evenings and leaving me with too much free time on my hands caused my addiction to again take over my life with a vengeance.

I am now attending a Sex Addicts Anonymous group. One thing I have now learnt is addiction of any form is very real and defiantly not some thing we can simply "grow out of". You need to accept your addiction, meet it head on and deal with it. I thought I had "out grown" my addiction but now realize I had not.

Maybe some people can deal with their addiction alone while others need some form of help to deal with it. But those who have "grown out" of any form of addiction were probably not really an addict but rather simply progressing though life normally.

Taking masturbation as an example most teen age boys learn to masturbate around 12 or 13 years old and probably do it excessively for a good many years. But as girls, work and eventually family take over their fascination with masturbation and pornography is replaced with a more normal sex life. In the case of the addict this just does not happen and can eventually get totally out of control.

This is just my opinion and I welcome comments.