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Motivation can be a problem...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by LordReshi7121999, Aug 9, 2017.

  1. I wanted to write about it because I'm feeling that way for quite sometime now. I really noticed the effects of fapping about 9-10 months ago but it was like I just took note of it and that's it. Then sometime ago I noticed my hair thinning and hair fall, very obvious dark circles, back pain, fatigue and a general degradation of physical and mental condition. The thing is during my longest streak (28 days) I had this motivation to not masturbate. When you are gasping for breath underwater...that's how much I wanted it. And as the days went by, I grew in confidence that I could go on for longer.
    So one day my brain asked me to check out some new 'content' online and I fell for it. And then the relapse cycle started. I've been doing a fair few 7-10 day streaks but they don't last long. Just like my motivation.
    I'm pretty sure that fapping causes loss of motivation. That desire to excel is just gone. But fapping simply extracts that motivation not to fap too. You're brain is just numb from a very short lasting high. It can't wait for another one. But how are you supposed to eat when you're full??
    During my best days I'm good at denying urges right away. That's the only secret to success. Deny the urges without pondering. Just kill them instinctively.
    Because if you take even a few seconds then you'll not be able to hold yourself together. And you'll go to porn. Somewhere you'll probably even tell yourself not to do it, that it is ruining you, that you regretted relapsing the last time too. But you in your current state don't remember the feeling from last time. And you're horny. So you'll relapse and keep up the cycle.
    You can't rely on motivation or willpower solely to help you out of that hole. Motivation doesn't kill addictions. Habits do. Motivation is important, it helps you remember why you started and why you should go on. However only a habit replaces another one. The willpower to deny junk food won't make you slim. Switching from the couch to the gym will. Similarly, willing to stay clean doesn't help. You have to replace porn in your life.
    Watch a TV series, read a book, find a new one, draw, work out, meditate, do something, do anything but keep doing stuff! When you think of fapping switch to one of the above immediately. This will help to go about for the first few weeks.
    Pornblockers and stuff helps too. Read about nofap. Learn about porn and its effects on the brain. Read a few success stories. Read about failures. Learn from yours.
    This might be long, I might have even gone off topic at times and if somehow there is no flow to it then forgive me. Right now I'm not as sharp as I would be (emphasized above) but writing about helps me. Motivation is forgotten, willpower is limited. And men are stupid to believe that they can conquer that animal instinct that is integral to us. We can however learn to ignore that instinctive action. You won't really remember how it felt in the last relapse. You'll remind yourself vaguely about it but you can't recreate that feeling without relapsing. And you don't want to. Instead of torturing yourself to not toss one out, spare the pain by not accessing the porn. Its tough at times but more than that it has become a habit in your life, a really stupid habit that has destroyed you. And only replacing it will help. Find what you like and replace it. I like to read but also to work out. So I'm torn between reading and swimming when it comes to those urges. Not between whether to or not to fap. Good day fapstronaut, stay strong!
     
    Awakening123 and Michael Beets like this.

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