Motivation for willpower method

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Crunchy leaves, Oct 20, 2018.

  1. Crunchy leaves

    Crunchy leaves Fapstronaut

    First of all, I reached 14 days streak today, something that I can't did for four months. Unfortunately, I've opened the P page shortly after reach 14 days. I only opened it for a short time, but I can't decide that it's a reset or not since (I think) my motivation will be reduced if I reset it to the point that "oh, I have low streak and I just open P. I think it'll be better for my journey to full reset instead". So, the first question is. Is this a reset?

    Second, I finally can reach this streak because of plain willpower. However, for now I've lose it since I can't answer the question asked by myself. "Do you really can quit PMO and become what you want? Do you really able to fill out your boring day at weekend? Do you really can change yourself by abstaining from PMO?". To keep the topic right, I need motivation. Can I really quit from PMO and enjoy my life without worrying about PMO? How?

    Third, I'm on weak point now. My mind is messed up. Putting 'is this a reset" question step aside. I think that no matter what choice I take it will only lead me to relapse tomorrow. So, I really need a motivation to keep me away from fully relapse tomorrow and restore my "shield' tp continue this journey.

    I have further question but I think I'll post it on another thread. Thank you
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2018
  2. MusicMakingMonk

    MusicMakingMonk Fapstronaut

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    First off, good on you for getting to 14 days, that's not easy.
    Of course, 14 days is difficult. Your balls are now full and you feel good and you think once won't matter.
    That's why you engaged in the risky behavior of looking at a little bit of porn.
    I have one big suggestion, stop worrying about your streak. This whole forum is obsessed with their stupid little number. And I keep track of these things myself too, but only to check if I've made progress in the long term, and not so much about how good I'm doing right now, this can create so many weird little mental traps that have no good reason to be there, as mental traps is what you're trying to fight in the first place.
    Reset or do not reset doesn't really matter, seeing as you think you'll relapse anyway right?
    Asking this question probably has given you more stress then you would from an actual 100% reset, because you have doubts if you're alright, but remember, it's about the progress. ASk yourself this, if this was a couple weeks ago and you saw a little porn, would you have relapsed? Probably yes right. Well now you saw a little bit of porn AND YOU DIDN'T RELAPSE. That's progress man, that's good. That means you're fighting. And winning. And I know you can win tomorrow too. Go out. Take a long hike, pack enough food and water for a whole day. See how far you can walk, by the end of the day you'll be too exhausted to even think about PMO. And you'll feel good because you tested your strength, and you did not relapse. You'll also have a lot of time to think about this whole journey, how you're going to handle it in the future and how you're going to overcome it, because you can and you will.
    You will always worry about this thing coming back, or at least for a good amount of time. But you'll still enjoy life a whole lot more then when you were actively PMOíng. Andd yu will become a different and better version of yourself along the way.

    Good luck brother, if you have any more questions, don't be afraid to ask!
     
    Crunchy leaves likes this.
  3. Crunchy leaves

    Crunchy leaves Fapstronaut

    First, thank you so much for your answer.

    I don't know is it really a progress or not. It's always like this before. First, I just reset with P. And then, I feel that it's useless to reset the counter with just P and decided to fully relapse to "cleanse the mind" as an excuse. It feel impossible to continue the journey after P without full relapse.

    I don't really feel I can go outside. I locked myself in my house to "work school assignment" as an excuse if I was asked by my friend to go to somewhere. In the end I didn't work anything and the assignment are accumulated. I need to break the cycle by completing school assignment and catching up the school subject so that I can go anywhere or do anything without feeling pressured and enjoy my life. But my plan always failed. I can't study properly and keeping my concentration. And when I'm studying I usually lose my motivation or concentration that I started to do anything else.

    Sorry for the answer that's not related with the question I first asked. This post feel nore as an additional information over the question.
     
  4. MusicMakingMonk

    MusicMakingMonk Fapstronaut

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    Right.

    I know those excuses. I've held them myself many times. Even acted upon those feelings and excuses. They're bullshit. They're a lie, they're a trick.
    People always say don't trust addicts. It's not because an addict is inherently untrusthworthy, but because addicts lie to theirselves the most. Don't believe it. Believe that keeping any kind of sexual activity to the most minimal amount you can right now is most beneficial, it is.
    Give it 2 days and look back the feeling of "It feel impossible to continue the journey after P without full relapse.", you will feel stupid for even thinking such a thing.
    You are not your thoughts, meditation helps with this mindset and these kinds of issues.
    There is no such thing as cleansing the mind by fully relapsing, it's the excact opposite, you'll just want more filth.

    Don't isolate yourself either, you need interaction with other humans to get through this. Doing homework is important but do you really think you can spend 12 hours on homework, alone, without being tempted to look at porn? Go to the library to study, find a study partner, it's hard to be tempted when you have someone sitting next to you, it does wonders for your concentration. Just try do as much as you can and when you're done, call up a friend or go outside, it's usesless to stay indoors with urges and no focus to do anything productive. That's just an optimal enviroment for a relapse, and that's excactly the kind of situation you want to avoid right?
     
  5. Difficult 2 Stop

    Difficult 2 Stop Fapstronaut

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    These are the kind of words and advice I need to hear. Thanks!
     
  6. MusicMakingMonk

    MusicMakingMonk Fapstronaut

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    You're welcome!
     

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