Moving abroad in order to fix loneliness?

What's the quality of life like in the place abroad? Similar to where you are?
I moved abroad when I was 32. Best thing I ever did. I can't for sure say I'm "better off" than if I had stayed in my hometown but it certainly opened up new opportunities for me.
Go for it!

 

I did this. I was older than you are now, too. A good job opportunity came up abroad that had the potential to rescue me from some difficult financial straits, and I took it. Life was good and certainly not mundane.

What do you have to lose, really? It sounds like there's not job lined up in your capital for you, but an opportunity is there abroad ready for you to grab. Having just moved somewhere is a good pretext for socializing -- people will understand that you're new and looking to meet people. I think you'll feel a lot of confidence from taking on a new adventure, something so many people say they want but would never dare to do. You say you are afraid that you will relapse if you don't meet your goals over there. Well being afraid is not a rational reason to stay in a bad situation. Isn't this whole process about facing our demons, gaining confidence, becoming the men we want to be? Good luck.

 

There is also one thing - don’t count too much that moving abroad (or to a different city) will resolve all your problems, because they all are within you (in Dale Carnegie ‘How to stop worrying...’ there was such episode - one guy decided to move to another city far away to resolve his problem of too much stress and his father wrote him a letter, asking to read it only when he would get there. He wrote the same idea - that the problems (fears, or in our case also pmo) are within us and we take them with us wherever we go.
At the same time better job/people you surrounding could help you to resolve your problems, but it’s only you who can resolve them finally.

 

That is very true. Dont automatically think that moving will magically make your problems disappear, but a fresh environment and a new life may well help you overcome them.

 

I have moved city and even country a couple of times in my life when I felt that I had stagnated. It wasn't about resolving my problems, because, as others have already said, they'll just move with you, but about challenging myself.

You're single and have no dependents, so the worst that can happen is that it's a bad idea and you end up moving back. The best that can happen is that the challenge lights a fire under you, and you start to excel. (If you want a great job, you'll have to be a great employee.)

Moving won't cure your addiction or loneliness. Therapy and determination will. That is true whether or not you move.

Cure your loneliness and addiction for all the right reasons, and be sure to get therapy to help.

Likewise, move for all the right reasons. Challenge yourself to be the best person you can be.

Good luck, whichever decision you make.

 

Go for it! I'm thinking about it as well, but need more experince in my profession.

 

I'm only 26 but I spent the last few years moving around the states, from rural Maine to Seattle, Washington, and some stops in between. I've had a lot of addiction issues with the drugs and the drinks and the porns and in hindsight a lot of my relocation efforts had to do with me trying to change my internal situation by changing my external one and... Well, it always worked at first, I always felt fresh and clear and hopeful for the first few months but after some time I would find myself alone and really damn sad. I would say hell yeah, give a big move a full-fledged go, but make sure you've got at least a couple points of stability to keep you grounded and honest, and... Well maybe this is just me, but whenever I move or travel to a new place I'm filled with all sorts of excitement and just info overload, and I just soak everything in and don't do much in particular, which is probably a great thing to do at first. However, I would usually keep doing that and tell myself that tomorrow or the next day or the next month I was going to join a martial arts group or go to an open micer or ask the bartender out and, well, I did the same shit I did when I lived back home, put my life off "just one more day", and yeah, a tragic way to live so... If you do make the move, make sure after you get settled to get busy living once you get there! And keep in mind that if you didn't have the motivation to put yourself out there and try new things in your "home" environment, there's a chance it'll be even more difficult to do so somewhere new, after that initial giddiness wears off anyway... Just food for thought, if you really need to jumpstart your system with a fresh place and new people, fuck yeah, just make sure you have a plan to participate and really live when you get there!

 

This is not something that we can answer for you!

You've outlined a few pros and cons. You need to decide how important therapy is for you (I'm guessing that it's important). Have you tried different types of therapy? It seems a bit odd that you've had to have therapy for ten years, but then I don't know your circumstances.

Try a (qualified) life coach to explore your options. (A life coach isn't the same as a therapist.)

 

Hi Magic,
true change comes from within. The work you need to do is on yourself! Regardless of where you go whatever is within you will remain.
The Catholic Church had an awful policy regarding pedophile priests. They did not expel them or inform the authorities. Instead they moved them from diocese to diocese. They even sent them to other countries. As if an aeroplane flight would cure them of their criminal tendencies. Which of course it didn't.
Likewise relocating won't solve your addiction or other problems by itself. However you could use your move to remould your mind. If this was the case then moving abroad would be a great thing to do.
Writing as a 46 years old man I have many regrets. One of the biggest is that I did not live abroad for a time. Even a year away would have proved beneficial. You mention, Magic, you would move to a language compatible country. This would be a wise step.
By all means make the move. But don't forget the internal work. Bon voyage and good luck comrade!

 

are your a virgin?

 

If the issue of paying for the services of specialists is not too acute, it is best to use the services of specialists of a moving company, or, alternatively, the services of performers who cooperate with them. When I moved, I ordered a sydney to melbourne removalist. The company helped compile it. Moreover, the pricing policy that the performers will offer to potential customers will be very democratic. My father also moved for work, but he managed on his own. It used to be normal, but now when you have two children or more, a lot of things, you can't do it yourself.

 

Yeah bro if I lived in the middle of nowhere or in an area where its mostly a sausagefest, I would move too.

 

I remember asking a similar question like this in Roosh's forum and they suggested that White women in the West was a lost cause. Eastern Europe was one of the better prospects, supposedly.

 

Hi, brother.

I understand how it feels to feel stuck in a place where you currently live in. We have a reverse situation. I am currently abroad. It has been 4 years since I left my home country. I badly want to go home ever since, but due to financial situations, I haven't managed to do it yet. I am 32 years old, single, and gay. I also feel lonely and isolated. Most especially during this time of the pandemic. I know this current time has impacted us harder.

Please message me if you have the opportunity to read this message. I would be glad to listen.

Warm regards,

Ramski

 

what happened to this story? what did the father write to his son?

 

that the problems are within us (this was all about anxiety) and we take them with us wherever we go, so his son wouldn't solve them by moving to another city

 

i truly agree.

 

I am on the same boat as you.
I live in a shit place, poor city, poor weather. not many options to meet people outside. I live in poor neighbourhood.
I have good job tho. but so what ?
I havent meet friends for 10 years!

certainly a lot depends on me but sometimes its just the place that sucks.

remember:
relapsing or not depends only on you, not external circumstances
they are just a mere excuses
doesnt matter if its a bad day or a true shit storm

also:
you lose 100% chances you wont take.