Moving abroad in order to fix loneliness?

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by magic05, Feb 8, 2020.

  1. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Nothing wrong with having a bit of adventure. With no attachments and significant reasons to stay where you are now making a move is worth consideration. With that said don't expect it to fix your issues. You can be lonely anywhere so you need to understand moving may not be a solution to your loneliness.

    Be certain to have you finances in order before you go and ideally it would be good if you are moving into a Job at the new location. If you have to go search for work, It may take a little time and you still need meet all of your basic needs like food, shelter etc.

    Good Luck!
     
  2. blookes

    blookes Fapstronaut

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    yes yes do it! i was thinking of doing the same thing because i just feel like i can't achieve my professional goals where i am at. it feels like i've outgrown this area... i already know where everything is and have already done everything. i jkust want my oen place but everything is so expensive here and in the least expensive areas there is not enough good paying jobs. jeez why dose life suck for us in our 20s maybe it's because of the older generations
     
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  3. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Life can be tough at all ages. I am 39 now and look back and realize I did not use my youth as best I could. It is important to focus on what you want to achieve and make the sacrifices now that are needed to better your life in the long run. If you are in your early 20s then life is really getting started now. You now have to build your finances, and skill set to be successful and progress in life. It is ideal to have purpose, direction and discipline at this stage. Life will be all the better for it in the future.

    Best of luck bro!
     
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  4. blookes

    blookes Fapstronaut

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    thank you for your wisdom man i really appreciate how these forums allow those with more experience to shed some light so we can make more educated decisions!!
     
  5. TheLightOne

    TheLightOne Fapstronaut

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    Been there done that.
    Id recommend going to specialist first, moving abroad doesnt solve problems
     
  6. Mazda647

    Mazda647 Fapstronaut

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    Moving or staying, though choice.

    I never moved far from home. Never got my license until I was 21. Didn't venture too far until I was 24. What I can say is my "getting out there" phase didn't magically make me a better person, though it was part of the journey.

    My thought is no, moving won't fix your problems. Still aim to move but in the present learn to take off your blinders and see all the great people in your current city. Learn to make the best of your job while you're there. Other peoples bad attitudes are their own. Each of us can reflect upon our own bad attitude and constantly aim to improve. Resentment is a killer.
     
  7. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    im in my late 30s and it also sucks for the reasons mentioned.
    I need to move out from here ffs or I go crazy
     
  8. BetterMeandI

    BetterMeandI Fapstronaut

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    I have moved abroad, not to run from my problems, but to be depressed in a different location that looks nicer LOL. Nofap has helped me a lot! But truth be told, no matter where you go, in my own experience, if you do not do the work in terms of going out there socializing, approaching chicks etc, you won't be much more successful with friends or having sex than when you are in your home town.

    It sucks, but the only solution is, do the work. There is no other way unfortunately.
     
  9. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    I see... thank you. but still, its better to cry in a mercedes than in a vw golf, right? ;)
     
  10. I moved to a few places overseas when I was desperate for something new. Having a new start did help in many ways, but like so many have already said, the problems also went with me.

    What it did do was it provided a brand new environment, but I failed to use it to full effect. Probably because I wasn't prepared enough. I wasn't prepared at all, to be fair.

    With hindsight, had I maybe seen a decent therapist before hand, and plotted a realistic way forward with them for when I did leave, who knows what I could have achieved, but in the end my old ingrained habits just followed me and morphed into something new in those environments.

    Another problem I experienced was going away and earning less. Or earning well, but spending more. Anyway, when I finally returned home, I came back feeling like I had not moved forward with my life at all, and that wasn't such an easy pill for my pride to swallow.

    Personally, I'm all for making moves and living abroad. I've had the good fortune of living in many countries, but I also see the benefits of having a realistic and well thought out plan a, b & c

    Best of luck with whatever you choose!
     
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  11. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    With hindsight, had I maybe seen a decent therapist before hand, and plotted a realistic way forward with them for when I did leave, who knows what I could have achieved, but in the end my old ingrained habits just followed me and morphed into something new in those environments.
    >>> could you give us an example?
     
  12. Deysonn

    Deysonn Fapstronaut

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    Hi, Interesting. How has making the moves helped? When you reflect has their been any positives regarding your underlying decision for making the move?
     
  13. Happy Man

    Happy Man Fapstronaut

    Before you do it, travel there first. Chat to the people in that city and see what they say about the life style there. You want to travel there for research. Ask people about the working hours too. Try and chat up some girls over there and see if they are friendly. You might find the responce is the same in your own country.

    I had a friend working as an English teacher abroad and loved the lifestyle. Loves the hot weather and the food. Loves the way people are so friendly.

    The truth is some people want to move to the Uk and Us because the income is a lot higher and working hours are lower.

    Where is this place anyway? Let us know, so we might be able to help.

    What ever happens, make sure you have a way to move back, incase you are unhappy and it's not the way you thought, it would turn out. You don't want to be stuck in a country, you are not happy with.

    I'm moving abroad as well but not looking for a job. Investments and cashflow, will grow and cover it. I be spending a few months, here and there as research. I keep looking until I find something I like
     
  14. wangkaiquan

    wangkaiquan Fapstronaut

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  15. patischof

    patischof New Fapstronaut

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    100% you have to do this. A new city, a new start. If nothing keeps you in the current place, move, travel, like that, you will find your entourage somewhere where you feel the most comfortable. Don't even think about whether to do it or not. Just buy a ticket and leave. I live in the UK, and I love this country, but not my hometown. I lived in a small county of London, far from the center, and I had no friends and no sources of development. That's why at the age of 18, I asked for help from getmanandvan.co.uk to help me carry everything, and I moved to another county in north London but much closer to the center and more developed part of the city. My life has changed 180 degrees. Everything became more beautiful, and I even found my love.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2021
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  16. JoeinMD

    JoeinMD Fapstronaut

    There is a story of an old wise man who lived his whole life in a certain town. He was known to sit in the central square, conversing with familiar neighbors but also greeting folks who were just passing through the town to another destination. One day a couple arrived into the town, looking to move there, and having made acquaintance with the old man, they asked him, "What are the people like in this town?" The old man asked them, "Well, what are the people like where you come from?" They explained that folks from their town were very open and friendly, always welcoming and always having an open door to anyone in need. The old man said in reply, "Yep, folks are pretty much the same way in this town, too." Then, a month later, another couple who were also looking to move to the town likewise made acquaintance with the old man and asked him, "We're thinking about moving here. What are the people like?" Similarly, the man asked, "Well, what are the people like from where you come?" They conveyed that the people from their hometown pretty much kept to themselves, were cold and private, led their own lives, and were not very interested in communicating with their neighbors. The old man replied, "Yep, folks here are pretty much the same."

    Basically, it doesn't matter where we travel, run away to, dream about, or seek out, it's all about what we bring to it - namely, ourselves. We bring our own issues and baggage along with us, and folks react to us the same way in other places as they do in a present domicile, because we act the same and it's our own self that they react to. Our issues, addictions, and baggage also follow us. We'll have to battle with all the same problems no matter where we take ourselves.

    Didn't you ever watch the Wizard of Oz, where the moral of the story was that our dreams are not to be found over the rainbow but that we need travel no farther than our own backyard to find them? Similarly, in Anne of Green Gables (okay, I'm "girling" out here), Anne concluded at the end of the story that she mistakenly went looking for her ideals outside of herself, but discovered that it wasn't what the world held out for her, but it's what she brought to it.

    Best wishes wherever you may find yourself, but you will only ever find yourself with yourself - no running away from that. The answers are within yourself and in your own backyard. Make use and act on that. Godspeed!

    .
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2021
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  17. ndaty

    ndaty Fapstronaut

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    So have u decided to do it?
     
  18. Remember you are the same person regardless of where you are. All change, trite but true, starts from inside!
     
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  19. BigBallOfFire

    BigBallOfFire Fapstronaut

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    this is all true however... if you live in a place that is cold dark rainy and winy like Iceland all the time then it makes you depressed
    then you move to Spain and theres sun and beautiful women everywhere. And then you are happy.

    Of course we bring our baggage, but sometimes the place where we live influences us too. And changing it simply helps.
     

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