My 2 Minded Experience!

Being an addict really make you self-aware
last night after the gym I went to a friend of mine birthday party, did really eat much but i had a shot and a beer.
after about an hour and a half, I left decided to smoke a little joint and head home cuz i had work in the morning.
after my smoke on my way home the high kicked in and all of a sudden, i had all these urges and thoughts of doing PMO it was such a huge rush just the thought of in. i can feel my mind craving the videos and endless house or content.
on the other hand, i can also hear my subconscious saying to myself "look this is how you fall to this addiction " i was thinking and being aware of my urges and not reacting to them even though they were going wild. it really is a fight with yourself and your brain.
i remember also feeling very calm at one point about my urges and just sat with them on my drive home. before i would completely give in. but it's like i was watching myself mentally overcome my urges. its really a mindset we are all battling against an
enemy WE personally built ourselves.
i knew i didn't want to do it but i had nothing but the crazy mad urges!!! to do it. I went home and went straight to bed.
and told my self i would share this story with my brothers in the morning.

 

So true my friend. Honestly I just dont want to go back at all. I feel like this time around its life or death for me my life is coming to a fork in the road . No more back and forth.