My 30 day self improvement journal

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Fighter_4_life, Jul 12, 2020.

Can I do 180 degree change?

  1. Yes

    53 vote(s)
    98.1%
  2. No

    1 vote(s)
    1.9%
  1. TheStranger

    TheStranger Fapstronaut

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    Switch meditation with prayers and you'll me right there.
     
  2. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Day 6
    Target 1: MENTAL
    1) MEDITATION

    - breathing exercise: 5 minutes
    - guided meditation 14 minutes
    - timed meditation 6 minutes)
    - practiced morning
    - quality excellent


    There was farmer whose horse was taken away.. His neighbors came and said what a bad luck to which the farmers surprisingly replied "maybe".. The next day horse came back with a lot of wealth and 3 other wild horses... Neighbors said what a good luck to which farmer again replied maybe.. The next morning farmers son went on to ride the untamed horse and fell breaking his leg as a result he has to limp.. The neighbours said ah what a bad luck.. After some days the king was recruiting every young male for war but couldn't take farmers son as he limped.. And the neighbors came to congratulate the farmer for his good luck..
    The lesson here was that a disappointment may turn out to be a stroke of luck but for that we need to practice non reactivity and patience to the emotions we may be overwhelmed with




    2)READING SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS /WATCHING VIDEOS (new)

    -Watched a of spiritual video ; really liked and inspired..
    Besides this I really really asked lot of forgiveness from allah /God and really asked him for help by recitation of certain duas (prayers) to take me out of this mess and I guess he accepted so happy day today

    One religion based video a day keeps Satan away..



    - watched many videos elated to nofap ..
    It was about what to do when you relapse again I was referring to Universal man.. He is beyond amazing..
    Also I read his pdf and it is very nice and practicals.. "reboot regimen".. I am on regimen 2


    -LIMIT RUMINATING THOUGHT/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMS TO LESS THAN 5% EACH (

    Maladaptive daydream =3%
    Ruminations /intrusive thoughts =1%
    Excessive past reflection =5%

    (I am happy coz my average used to be 75%.. I don't know how it is possible.. But it shows my mental health is improving)



    TARGET 2: PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
    - balancing exercise done
    - woke up at 5( after many tries)
    -workout done (after a long time)


    -TARGET 3 : PRODUCTIVITY
    - 0hours study (min hrs should be 5)
    - 40minutes Spanish learning from duolingo
    - cleaned my room.

    Score 14/15
    93.3%

    I am very happy.. I made it to day one after binging ...
     
  3. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Day 8

    Target 1: MENTAL
    1) MEDITATION

    - breathing exercise: 9 minutes
    - guided meditation 11 minutes
    - timed meditation 6 minutes)
    - practiced morning
    - quality excellent





    2)READING SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS /WATCHING VIDEOS (new)

    -Watched a kinda spiritual video ;



    - watched many videos related to nofap ..


    About many stuff like fantasy and why is it bad. Universal man said you can't quit pmo by substituting it by running P in your mind.. That kinda explains why fantasy is bad.. And besides they enforce a same pathways in your minds.

    Plus he said it objectifies women which is really bad( which I could not relate as I am female) lol


    Fantasizing is like you are substituting weed by cigarettes though not that bad, but bad anyway



    -LIMIT RUMINATING THOUGHT/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMS TO LESS THAN 5% EACH (

    Maladaptive daydream =3%
    Ruminations /intrusive thoughts =15%
    Excessive past reflection =5%

    TARGET 2: PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
    - balancing exercise done
    - woke up at 5( after many tries)
    -workout done (after a long time)

    -TARGET 3 : PRODUCTIVITY
    - 0hours study (min hrs should be 5)
    - 20minutes Spanish learning from duolingo
    - cleaned my room.

    Score 13/15
    86.6%
     
  4. TheStranger

    TheStranger Fapstronaut

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    Well done,sister. Keep up the good work. Is prayer still blocked for you? I haven't seen you posting about for a while (or I might sleeping,not sure.)
     
  5. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    I will pray from today hopefully :)
     
  6. TheStranger

    TheStranger Fapstronaut

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    That's great.
     
  7. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Day 9

    Target 1: MENTAL
    1) MEDITATION

    - breathing exercise: 10 minutes
    - guided meditation 0 minutes
    - timed meditation 6 minutes)
    - practiced not in morning
    - quality excellent





    2)READING SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS /WATCHING VIDEOS (new)

    -Watched no spiritual video ;



    - watched a videos related to nofap ..




    -LIMIT RUMINATING THOUGHT/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMS TO LESS THAN 5% EACH (

    Maladaptive daydream =10%
    Ruminations /intrusive thoughts =0%
    Excessive past reflection =0%

    TARGET 2: PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
    - balancing exercise not done
    - woke up at 5( after many tries)
    -workout not done (after a long time)

    -TARGET 3 : PRODUCTIVITY
    - 0hours study (min hrs should be 5)
    - 0minutes Spanish learning from duolingo

    - cleaned my room.

    TARGET 4: SPIRITUALITY
    no quran
    Isha miss
    Score 8/18
    44.4%

    Even though the score was great... Day was good as the guy who hurt me apologized.. For hurting me.. Although he denied having flings (which he had)..
    It seemed he wanted me to give him a chance and had kinda feelings for me(but he could be playing as well +I don't love him anymore)..
    Anyway I loved his sweet treatment and sorry.. Even though I don't love him anymore
    Well Alhumdulillah I git what I wanted the most - CLOSURE
    I told him i m not into relationships and all he knows it..
    I liked the way he said sorry even though he might be faking it or maybe genuine who knows.
    At least now I can get rid of those masochistic fantasies.. I have no emotional reason to torture myself anymore..
     
  8. TheStranger

    TheStranger Fapstronaut

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    Allhamdullah,sister. I'm glad you've found closure. May Allah aid you in accomplishing the things you want to accomplish.

    And (Not my place to say but we're brothers and sister in Islam.) It's best for you to be strict with the "spirituality" part. You know how much it helps you out more than anything else. Good luck,sister.
     
  9. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    I have skipped certain days coz I was busy and used to relapse often getting back on track from today in sha Allah @Thors thank you for your kind messages as always..
    Also since you are reaching 40 days...
    Do not reset.. No matter what Chaser is gonna ruin you trust me... You have seen what happened to me after my last good streak don't let that happen to you..
    Wish you luck little brother
     
  10. TheStranger

    TheStranger Fapstronaut

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    Indeed. It does suck to start all over again but it is what it is. You can only go forward. As for me,resetting doesn't sound appealing at the slightest allhamdullah. Maybe I have finally been given some resistance from allah. I am forever thankful for the blessings.
    Do not fall down,sister. Do not succumb to those dark emotions and memories. Do not let the shaytan take over you and decide what you're going to do. You can do this...You did this before...Stop letting small excuses and some shit emotional triggers make you go back to being miserable. You don't deserve to be miserable. You deserve to be great,productive and Most of All,Inspiring and full of hope! You got this. Just believe in yourself. Go for it. Good luck.
    And finally...
    Thank you,big sister. I hope my message doesn't hurt your feelings and if it does, I only mean good intentions. I will pray for your success. Good luck,Fighter.
     
  11. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Thank you so much Thors..
    I am highly grateful for your message..
    Emotional triggers are so done Alhumdulillah
    I will try my level best..
    In sha Allah
    And honestly I am very very happy for your streak and I hope and pray that allah be with your and bless you in your life..
    I really want that.. You have been so supportive of me from day 1..
    I can say Alhumdulillah I am in a much better place than where I was when I started this journal
    And i can do much more in sha Allah
     
  12. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Day 10
    Target 1: MENTAL
    1) MEDITATION

    - breathing exercise: 10 minutes
    - guided meditation 20 minutes
    - timed meditation 0 minutes)
    - practiced in morning
    - quality excellent


    Learned about step 12 and that was about service to others... Improve our lives so that we can be service to others but within proper boundaries like don't become codependent etc etc.. It was mix of yoga and meditation in which one would harness the power of solar plexus to gain motivation and momentum to do the things we want


    2)READING SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS /WATCHING VIDEOS (new)

    -Watched a spiritual video ;
    It was about night prayer (tahajud) and its benefits..
    Also other faiths can relate it this way
    When we are in problem we call to so many people for help only to get disappointed many a times but before reaching others we should have first reached God who is always there to help us and can rescue a soul from hardship



    - watched 2 videos related to nofap ..

    It was about acute withdrawal symptoms and post acute withdrawal symptoms (=flatline)..
    Now that I know the road ahead I can better prepare for it
    Also learned about how depression attack and cravings don't last for that long.. So don't give into it till it fades and becomes weak



    -LIMIT RUMINATING THOUGHT/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMS TO LESS THAN 5% EACH (

    Maladaptive daydream =3%
    Ruminations /intrusive thoughts =0%
    Excessive past reflection =3%
    Alhumdulilah this is a sign that mental health is improving


    TARGET 2: PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
    - balancing exercise not done
    - no 5am waking
    -workout not done


    -TARGET 3 : PRODUCTIVITY
    - 0hours study (min hrs should be 5)
    - 0minutes Spanish learning from duolingo

    - cleaned my room.

    TARGET 4: SPIRITUALITY
    quran
    Fajr miss

    Score 11/18
    61.1
    %
    Besides this I made it to day 2
     
  13. TheStranger

    TheStranger Fapstronaut

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    It's the least I could do,sister. I'm glad this message was beneficial to you.
    Alhumdulillah. Now, Don't let them win the next time they invade you.
    Thank you so much for your wishes,dear sister. I pray that Allah aids you towards the straight path. Thanks a lot.
    I'm glad you do and It's natural for brothers and sisters to support each other,isn't it? You just deserve the support.
    Inshallah,sister. You shall rise again to the top and become one of the greats. That's the spirit. Good luck,sister. Keep up the good work!



    Glad to hear that. Good job.

    Alhumadulilah.

    You'll do them next time,inshallah. Just remind yourself that you can do it,that You got this. Giving yourself hope and motivation is one of the ways to showing true inner strength.

    At least you did one of those tasks. Be sure to do them all later (Sure, it might sound impossible but there's nothing impossible for someone like you).

    Well done but...
    Try your very best to not miss it. I know I've mentioned it a lot and it probably sounds annoying at this point, (But it shouldn't since we're just reminding each other of the right things to do) this prayer sets out your day. I pray that you'll be able to pray it the next day/time.

    Well done. Keep up the good work!And once again, You got this...Believe in yourself.
     
  14. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Day 11
    Target 1: MENTAL
    1) MEDITATION

    - breathing exercise: 10 minutes
    - guided meditation 10minutes
    - timed meditation 0 minutes)
    - practiced not in morning
    - quality excellent


    2)READING SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS /WATCHING VIDEOS (new)

    -Watched a spiritual video ;


    - watched a videos related to nofap ..





    -LIMIT RUMINATING THOUGHT/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMS TO LESS THAN 5% EACH (

    Maladaptive daydream =3%
    Ruminations /intrusive thoughts =0%
    Excessive past reflection :50%


    TARGET 2: PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
    - balancing exercise not done
    - no 5am waking
    -workout not done

    -TARGET 3 : PRODUCTIVITY
    - 0hours study (min hrs should be 5)
    - 0minutes Spanish learning from duolingo
    - cleaned my room.

    TARGET 4: SPIRITUALITY
    quran
    Fajr miss( I sleep at 12 am as long I don't fix my schedule of sleeping I won't fix get up for fajr... Even alarm doesn't work.. I set up the alarm I wake but I don't have the strength to get out of the bed..

    Score 9/18
    50%


    This was yesterday.. I somehow managed to get to day 3 of nofap
    Which is good thing.
     
  15. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Sorry Thors I couldn't message you on time..
    I bear in my mind each and every thing you say
    And i know self love and self compassion is the key to success in recovering from any type of addiction and slowly and steadily I am fixing all my issues the inner issues that prompt me to reset etc and I think I fixed most of them Alhumdulillah..
    So i think I will have a long streak in sha Allah
    What really helped me along the way was
    Supplication of forgiveness and
    Supplication of younis (as) and Adam (as)
    It really eased lot of trouble for me and fixed lot of issues I had within me
    You can try that as well.

    Besides watching one Islamic video a day (even if it is a 3 minute video) is really helping me to get close to God and is helping me in my recovery as well..

    Thanks again brother for your support
     
  16. TheStranger

    TheStranger Fapstronaut

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    I'll do that. Thanks for the recommendation,sister.
     
  17. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Day 11
    Target 1: MENTAL
    1) MEDITATION

    - breathing exercise: 10 minutes
    - guided meditation 10 + 7minutes
    - timed meditation 6 minutes)
    Total = 33 minutes fab

    - practiced in morning
    - quality excellent





    2)READING SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS /WATCHING VIDEOS (new)

    -Watched a spiritual video ;it was amazing.. I really like watching Spiritual videos is really a good decision.. It kinda helps me surrender my problems to almighty instead of looking for unhealthy escapism..

    One big trial can ruin years of worship..
    But the test of our faith is when the things go on so we should hold on..
    The world might do injustice to us that is the time our faith should be strong and we should not retaliate



    - watched no videos related to nofap ..




    -LIMIT RUMINATING THOUGHT/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMS TO LESS THAN 5% EACH (

    Maladaptive daydream =3%
    Ruminations /intrusive thoughts =0%
    Excessive past reflection =40%
    I read somewhere to just set 5 minutes in timer watch and whatever you wanna think reflect about you can do so In that 5 minutes.. That will save you a lot of time

    TARGET 2: PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
    - balancing exercise not done
    - tried to get up at 5 am slept again
    -workout not done
    I think I should try to eliminate balancing exercises coz I don't ruminate anymore..
    I got closure to thing that was troubling me emotionally.. As I have 0% Ruminations for many days.. As I left my toxic friends and got apology from trash guy who was planning to exploit me for who unfortunately I had lot of feelings and was very codependent..


    -TARGET 3 : PRODUCTIVITY
    - 0hours study (min hrs should be 5)
    - 20 minutes Spanish learning from duolingo
    - cleaned my room.

    TARGET 4: SPIRITUALITY
    quran
    2/5 very bad

    Score 11/18
    61.1%

    Besides this I made it to day 3
     
  18. Zeezee

    Zeezee Fapstronaut

    Alhamdulillah! I have suffered with ruminating in the past a lot. The more I started living, and working towards a better future, the ruminating tendencies started to decrease.
    But your trials have only seemed to brought you closer to the Almighty. Such trials are blessing in disguise :) Happy to see you progress, sister. May Allah help us all, ameen :)
     
  19. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Ya same here..
    Ruminations are like zero I am sure the more I get involved in studies the less time I have for Ruminating and stuff..

    And as you said exactly sister these trials have bought me closer to Allah..
    Blessing in disguise as you say it
     
  20. Fighter_4_life

    Fighter_4_life Fapstronaut

    Day 12
    Target 1: MENTAL
    1) MEDITATION

    - breathing exercise: 10 minutes
    - guided meditation 10 minutes
    - timed meditation 0 minutes
    - practiced in morning
    - quality excellent





    2)READING SELF IMPROVEMENT BOOKS /WATCHING VIDEOS (new)

    -Watched a spiritual video
    Didn't know CBD weed is halal....



    Reading pdf related to nofap ..
    Of course reboot regimen by Mark quepet.. I completely regimen 2 and headed to regimen 3 which is about increasing productivity for lasting change and freedom from pmo/mo...

    "The best way to prevent yourself from constant escapism is to create a life where you dont want to escape.. "
    This hit me hard





    -LIMIT RUMINATING THOUGHT/MALADAPTIVE DAYDREAMS TO LESS THAN 5% EACH (

    Maladaptive daydream =3%
    Ruminations /intrusive thoughts =0%
    Excessive past reflection =30%
    That timer thing yet to be implemented

    TARGET 2: PHYSICAL ACTIVITY
    - tried to get up at 5 am slept again
    -workout not done

    I am too tired and unmotivated for workouts too be very frank enough

    -TARGET 3 : PRODUCTIVITY
    - 0 hours study
    - 20 minutes Spanish learning from duolingo
    - cleaned my room.

    TARGET 4: SPIRITUALITY
    quran
    4/5

    Score 11/17
    64.7%

    I just wanted to day I have been feeling way better..
     

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