My 30-day Testimony

Well, I've made it to 30 days hard mode. I am typing on my new laptop resting on the dashboard of an elliptical machine at the YMCA. My sweat glistens with the victory of doing my best.

This is the second longest I've gone since joining this site, 35 days being my longest without P, 45 without M.

Last time, though, I didn't post a success story because I didn't feel successful. I didn't feel more attractive or particularly energetic, not then. I had at the beginning, at day 9, when abstinence started to feel magically easy. But that could have been premature hype. One thing I had overlooked, though, was that my repressed, impotent rage toward my disabled boss (who depends on me 7 days a week without vacation, to meet his basic needs) had practically vanished the whole while I was abstinent. I failed to notice, failed to appreciate, relapsed and it came back. Friends, I am here to tell you, 30 days free of PMO, my impotent rage has pretty much vanished. Or, I should say, it has been diverted with a confluence of other emotions into a freshly rushing passion to succeed. My boss and I get along very well these days. My energy is big from turning exercise into a temptation, an addiction, a super habit. If just thinking about porn and feeling the pleasure of its promises could get me tempted to go PMO, why not think about doing a few push-ups right here on the carpet? Just think about doing one. Just pretend to think about doing one. Just imagine you're pretending to think about doing one teeny tiny push-up.

Imagine how convenient, how easy it would be to plant yourself with the carpet close to your face, your hands pressed into the fibers. See the fibers growing smaller and larger, blurrier and clearer as you huff out each breath. Maybe there is that familiar drowning sense of strain you're still imagining, of your body dreading even the semblance of exercise. Well, like PMO fantasy used to be catered to your craving, change that strain to a nicer feeling. Just change the tiniest worst part of the strain - imagine just that part glowing with ecstasy. Change it as you would the change features of your composite desired woman in a PMO binge. How would you LOVE exercise to feel? How would it be if your muscles thrilled at the chance to express their power, glad to move, a kid on Christmas morning, hungry to tear open the packages of life's promise, thirsty to grow big and strong? How would it be to feel the solidity of muscles packed in securely against your lungs of increased oxygen, like a warmly form-fitting pair of jeans in a chilly house. How would you love to see those pecs and abs chiseled, a clear achievement, like a robust, delicately lined statue commanding the lofty space of a museum? Far from being one of those angry exercise nuts who program anger into their workouts, venting the rage through the very exercise that perpetuates it, you can smile with every rep, imagine myself laughing good-naturedly at the lovely challenge, use exercise to practice being who you ultimately love to be. Before long, you are doing push-ups in real life, using the same subtle process of creative visualization that motivated you to look at porn. But better!

Far, far, far better.

What have you accomplished here?

You have stolen the secrets of your enemy and used them against him. Moreover, they have increased your health and well-being.

This is my most noticeable success at this writing. I have been exercising every day, all day. My mood is gigantically upbeat. I invite the world to try and intimidate me like it used to.

It was the success stories, the benefits, that really got me excited to join this site and do Nofap in the first place. Now I have a success story.

Here are some other benefits. Most of them are obvious. I have tried to make them so, because if there's any doubt your life will improve by stopping PMO, you can at least trust the obvious.

1. I have free time for other things. I can dream big about these other things because I'm not distracted in a compulsive rush to waste time.

2. I gain practice not reacting to spurious motivators like anxiety or temptation. This keeps me focused on the task at hand, whatever it may be.

3. I have begun to desire real women more, from a position of confidence, with porn not wedging its way into our intimacy and trust. PMO has a way of repeatedly telling deep, impressionable parts of you, "You can't or shouldn't be doing this in real life." I am now growing the confidence to decide what I am going to do in real life.

4. I wake earlier since I'm not fapping deep into the night. Healthy, wealthy and wise.

5. I save money not paying for videos or subscription sites.

6. Learning the skill of transforming temptations and emotions long before they overwhelm me has led to less angry exchanges with friends and acquaintances, the energy replaced by more empowered, impassioned ones. I envision myself happy as a result of Nofap, and I practice smiling the way I would when I am clear. The vision works, and I feel amazing.

7. I see through things. Having seen my way through to the other side of temptation every one of these 30 days without giving in, I have gained foresight, long game strategy, confidence in my ability to plan. I enjoy anticipating plausible future obstacles and envision myself moving past them with my spirits higher than ever, drawing confidence from what I continue to accomplish through Nofap.

8. My mental clarity is so strong at times I feel like I am clairvoyant. It's as if success is something I can see in thin air, grab and brandish its permanence before it has a chance to disappear again.

9. My diet has improved. Overcoming withdrawal gave me confidence to overcome the junk food withdrawal of eating raw, unseasoned vegetables. As my resistance to PMO withdrawal disappears so does my resistance to what else is good for me. Eventually the bitter and bland turns into wild green success to savor. I am growing into a remorseless wild native of a gustatory jungle. For the last two weeks I've had a handful of raw vegetables first thing every morning.

How have I accomplished 30 days? Techniques are listed throughout this site and the vast majority are worth considering. I've tried most of them.

1. Cold showers have helped.

2. Focusing on keeping my hands off has helped. Just keep them away. Keep objects, blankets, pillows, even tight pants away if need be. Without something touching it, the erection usually goes down soon.

3. Logging in here, yourbrainrebalanced.com, the Valhalla Challenge on Reddit.com, confessing my temptation and redirecting my mind toward how I'd like to be once free of PMO, making the fantasy vivid and luxurious, have been a phenomenal help.

4. Simply taking ten seconds to imagine my counter at a higher number has helped. It's an easy thing to visualize, and if you really consider what substance of character it takes to get to 180 or 460 days, it can whisk you into inspiration.

5. Flexing my muscles helps very well. Exercise does, too. It changes my biochemistry and mental state from weak and sick and vulnerable to vigorous and strong. Move a muscle, change a thought. As I said before, even imagining exercising vividly and consistency can lead to exercise.

6. I have a real-life Accountability Partner who checks in with me in the morning. I encourage him, too. I recommend this, too. Others have said it's indispensable. I usually get so excited when I'm on a great streak I make most of my close friends my accountability partners by default.

I haven't noticed any major changes with how women respond to me yet, but it's only been 30 days. My chief concern is how I feel about myself, which I am learning to change for the better directly in the moment, directly in the tiny parts of my body where the emotion is most strongly felt. Having mastered my emotions, I'm far likelier to venture into fresh emotional adventures. Going up to the most beautiful woman in the room and telling her what I am thinking seems far easier. Shyness has no use for me now. I'm not so afraid of my own feelings. I can laugh serenely at rejection and upgrade my approach to the most beautiful woman in the city. It's a guarantee that with my relaxed, in-control attitude women will treat me with far more comfort and respect, especially when they sense that my good spirits don't depend upon their approval.

7. The simple act of experimenting with smiling, opening up my posture like an embrace of all existent and possible realities, straightening up and walking just a bit more like a winner have been amazing catalysts for great moods, self-confidence that suffuse through the entire day.

These noble, expansive, feelings make the former urge to cower at a computer to fap to P feel silly and forgettable.

Thanks for reading, everybody. I'll update with additional benefits and more helpful ideas.

 

Thanks, Mighty Wolf! I just edited it quite a bit so it should be clearer and more streamlined, now.