It's hard to believe I'm already over 2/3 of the way through my 90 reboot journey. Long story short, my previous record by a long shot was 30 days clean last year. After that streak I still easily halved my weekly PMO rate. And this year, approximately 60 days ago, I realized I was ready and willing to commit to the full 90 days. It sort of felt like the journey was calling to me more than anything. It's sort of hard to describe, but it's like I have this feeling of love and accomplishment welling up in me as I write this from managing to stay true to my commitment. I'd say that's already enough reason to do this: because following through on tough a commitment feels good. This second month of the journey was a lot easier than the first from a physical standpoint: I had just discovered and activated Jesus-mode, refusing to let myself look or think on anything in lust. My withdrawal also ended around day 30, so the no PMO part became second nature. But life isn't that simple. With the PMO eliminated, I had no more shield between myself and real world stress and sadness. I was forgetting and mixing up dates and having almost no motivation to do anything, not to mention general sadness and uneasiness at this transition period in my life. However, just this last week, I finally got to the right place over days of soul searching to realize just how responsible I am for my own sadness and loneliness and for never yet getting a girlfriend. When I saw how huge my own responsibility was in all this, I was able to reverse-engineer a 12 item list of my own flawed behaviors at the root of these failures. Then I began building a list good counter-behaviors for each of the 12 items. Now I've got these items all right there in the palm of my hand with the needed counter-behaviors to replace them, and now that I've got that extra will power built up, I'm finally starting to make real progress turning my life around and becoming a real man. Highlights from this past week: A shyness complex has always been a big issue for me, but I started up a good conversation with a major community figure on the street I'd only been briefly introduced to last year. I'm also very nervous to sing in front of people, but for about first time ever I pulled out my guitar and sang for the family and we all had a great sing along. In the grocery store I saw a girl I'd been crushing on from a previous job whom I'd almost never said a word to. I just said hi and asked if she still worked there. Instead of brushing me off, she sort of ignored the older guy she'd been talking to was surprisingly interested to talk to me, so that turned into about a 5 minute conversation. I was a little unprepared for the great response and feel like I should've asked her out for coffee, any advice is appreciated. I saw she's currently with someone, but I'm still feeling pretty good just for being able to approach and really talk to her. Well, that about sums up my second 30 days, and it's getting late. G'night brothers, stay strong!